Who Do You Trust?.. in the Philippines

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109 comments

  1. So true, i meet a lot of expat and the most try to hit on my wife if i am not around, and i maybe know 2 or 3 max of local Phillipinos i can trust, but rest it is mostly about get something out of me …

    1. +LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines If you were talking to a girl on Facebook for a year from Philippines & wanted to meet her in person, Would you let her stay in your hotel with you for few days?

  2. I think in my case its mostly family members or friends of my wife family that i trust. But i only go to philippines for two months a year or so.

  3. Outside of family trust comes with time and in saying that it is always a good idea to keep a card up your sleeve if not close to your chest if that makes sense.
    All the best from Australia

  4. I’m a Filipino American. My wife and 2 kids has decided to move back here in the Philippines after a few decades in the states and plan on visiting back home in the states when time and budget permits. Anyhow, youre 1000% right on and hit the nail on the head with how everyone has their “hand out”. This is not only true for random people that ive met but it is also unfortunately true for relatives. At first when we first arrived, everyone was so nice to us.. Then one day we announced that the wife and I made it a rule that when we get here we would not lend or give away money to anyone under any circumstances… Coz that’s how drama begins…. well after that, the all these people that was being nice to us at first, all dropped off… we no longer hear a peep from any of them and this includes, unfortunately relatives… Goes to show they were only being nice to us at first coz at the end they probably were hoping they could get something out of us… Until now, I have no real friend that I can trust….. It really really difficult to find genuine people here that would like to be your friend, cousin, uncle, aunt, etc and not expect anything, especially monetarily, in return…

    1. @Jason Wilson jason, i dont feel guilty at all. I dont owe anyone anything. In addition, i have my own family to provide for. Gotta worry and take care of your own home first before others…

    2. TOK TOK.. Is it possible for an returning Balikbayan not to share their resources an still survive withing the family. . It seems likely to be totally un phillipino. If I may ask are you made totally feeling guilty as resulting of those decisions. ?

    3. @jim nichols Hi Jim. How r u? No we’re currently living here in the PI. Apologies for my initial post if it didnt make much sense. I was already a little sleepy when I put it together. My kids were born in the US. Im a dual citizen. Reasons why we moved back here in the PI are for economic reasons…. and no, im not wanted by the law :). How bout yourself? Whats your story? You here in the PI or you stateside?

  5. Hey Henry, this is IMHO the #1 issue for all expats. A member site that I joined brought this issue up a while back and from my experience in SEAsia, I have warned them about the many scofflaws that are hiding out in the vicinity. Kinda the hub for con artists of many stripes. Just read the news about the police picking up folks for various offenses that seem okay on the surface and are running tourists enterprises with customers who would have no clue about who they are dealing with. On the other hand, having true friends that you can call on in an emergency when you are in a foreign country are to be respected and treasured. Some people may surprise you, in that you may have them pegged as soso reliable and others that you thought you could depend on when the crunch came, turn out to be 180 degrees out. You never know till it happens for sure but those who stick by you are priceless. I hope to be someone that you can count on when I get there as I, like others need to network a circle of trusted friends. Besides, I like your attitude about life and your courage to chuck it all in and start anew.
    On a side note, what is the best way to get from Cebu to Dumaguete?

    1. @Bigtombowski With all the baggage I am bringing for my initial move that would be a costly affair. I have been watching CebuAirs fees for some time now and they aren’t cheap. If I was just traveling around the PI with a light backpack they are offering some good deals. I get regular updates from them for some really good deals. Right now TigerAir seems the best bet for a throw away ticket (Manila to Bkk for $49). 

    2. @harley jones Lot of bad reports about taking slow ferries. Since I am in no hurry to do anything anymore, I see that there is a Cerres bus from Cebu south bus terminal to Dumaguete including ferry fare for about 300 peso’s. Give me a chance to see some of Cebu south. 

  6. Great Video!!!n well worth watching. Its the same here in Australia but not as big of an issue as you face there. Ive been burnt many a time and its made me a bit jaded.

    1. It’s almost inevitable here in the PH.. sooner or later someone will rip you off in a way that hurts.  But it thickens your skin and sharpens your ears for the future in regards to trusting only the right people.  The rest.. “nice story you got, tell it down the road”.   🙂

  7. True friendship is like finding diamonds, especially men. Here in the States I had a hard time borrowing money from my best friend for down payment on an apartment and I and my girl friend have jobs to pay him back on pay day. But girl friends that love you are the most trustworthy.

    1. The Filipina that I have the most trust in is my former g/f of 4 years.  She’s never, ever come close to even giving me reason to doubt her motives in any way.  I can’t say that of ‘all’ my ex/gf’s though.  Some relationships just transcend everything else.

  8. Very good.  Uprated.  When I quit after decades being a money and help dispenser to my family, the insults came and I said to heck with this!  I was never much trouble for them, they threw me out at 18.  I’ve lived expat from the USA in France for 21 years.  Shunned by my French family permanently, completely excluded for reporting my husband of 21 years for beating me seven times in ’10, he, like my other two husbands (in the USA) got bored with me years ago and even resentful that there was nothing to reproach me for.  I am loyal, faithful, thrifty, frugal, a good cook, tidy, hard working and a good earner.  As for friends, they have pretty much all turned out to be nasty and grifters or to just cut me (and others) off.  Here in Paris, I find I really don’t have much in common with the French, though they are normal for me and I know how to work and behave with them.  Expats don’t last long here, especially in Paris.  It’s too complex and I find it harder than NYC, where I lived for 17 years.  I’ve had betrayal problems from employers, coworkers, lawyers, employees of my own, doctors, medical staff, institutions and administrations.  I’ve been on a waiting list since ’08 to get a subsidized apartment (I am disabled at this point, a broken wreck really) and have no priority.  (A wait of 10 to 15 years is not unusual here.)  The US won’t give me my benefits, though I worked there for decades, and I don’t want to pay the 450 USD they now require to renounce my citizenship, but really, I don’t want to.  I will not return — my last two visits were horrendous.  It’s become a gulag there of shuffling zombies, does no one SEE this?  I don’t trust anyone, I avoid everyone, I used to be gregarious!  I am in total isolation, this spouse just wants me dead, he is so nasty.  People don’t realize that when they are immigrants, they will almost certainly get PTSD, likely in the fourth year, that they will have a hard time learning a new language, culture, legal system and so on.  They will be resented back at home because they left, they will be ridiculed if they failed in the new place, they will always be an immigrant, a foreigner in the new country.  Point of view from a female expat.  Hope you and your viewers find my long comment worthy of consideration. 

    1. @jim nichols
      Thank you!  I try to be polite and frank.  There sometimes is a male on male-oriented sites who gets annoyed at a female’s participation, so if they’re really insulting and unreasonable, unfortunately, I have to unsub that channel.  I don’t want to bug anyone, really.  I have no problem insisting, hey, I am not lying, this is my experience, stuff like that, you know … but I’m very non-confrontational.  I’ve had to do a lot of learning in life, that is for sure.  Have to reason things out.  Try to detach from emotions generally, see things from many sides.  I can’t change the world.  But I need clarity to see, why should I accept platitudes and faiths and so on?  I try to apply logic to things, and there’s nothing wrong in making mistakes, or being “slow,” but then you have to sit down quietly and maybe chart things out, like, quantify things, figure out what is happening.  I guess from being a former sex worker, I have some takes on men’s health and their behavior.  It does vary from culture to culture, but men seem to generally possess certain traits.  If they ask me for advice or I see they are doing “silly things,” I try to give a straight word on all that.  I know lots of adult males who adore Asia and love going there and having fun.  Many want a cheap, easy life and access to females.  Okay, I can see why they’d want that … but then they seem to get blind about human behavior and throw logic right out the window!  Blondes get called dumb when female, but a lot of men act like dummies!  One of my childhood girl pals once wrote to me, “Men are like puppies with lead helmets on.  They chase the car.  Bump!  Bump!  And some woman runs out and says, oh, poor puppy, did you hurt yourself?  Well, he’s GOT A LEAD HELMET ON!”  Kind of complex metaphores there, but that one really stuck with me! 

    2. Some expats believe at first that they are targeted because they are ‘rich’ and foreigners.  But what they don’t always see at first is that greed and opportunism does not care about flags.. it only cares about money.  And people will target a ‘rich’ Filipino just as quickly (if not quicker) than a ‘rich’ Kano foreigner.

  9. Good topic:  As they say, ” trust is earned”, and you can always trust YOURSELF. lol  I find being a cynic has always served me well.   Even with my own wife I always used my common sense, and ask, ” what do you want”. 🙂   You know it’s always best to keep your enemy’s close.  That way you can keep an eye on them. 
    As for Filipino’s.  I like my father in law, but do I trust him?   NO WAY!!!! LOL   I don’t blame him.  It’s just the nature of the beast.  Others want what they don’t have, and if they can, they’ll get it by hook or crook.   

  10. your right but im here in the states and the filipino men i know here i trust the ones i know . i only trust a few filipina here because they still have the money mentalty because they are the ones sending large amounts of money home

    1. I taught my kids, “desperate people do desperate things”.  What I’ve found is that the wealthier a Filipino is here, the more they kinda keep to themselves and avoid the stigma of even appearing to want anything from others.  To the point that many rich Filipino families even consider it a negative that their daughter would get involved with a foreigner.  The implication being that she felt the need to ‘marry up’.  But the more ‘desperate’ people in life.. those are the ones you gotta keep an eye on.

  11. Hi Henry , I agree friends and people who you can really trust are very hard to come by , No matter where you are in the world . I’ve been married to a Filipina for all most 10 years and her family never asked us for anything . Every situation is different . I think anywhere you are in the world it is hard for an expat to find people they can really trust .

  12. is there a web sight that sell the rascal trike bike in the Bicol region as I have tried from here in the uk but only seems to be sold in manila

  13. There is only a handful of people that I trust,without reservation. Some that I go by “trust but verify”. All others are suspect until proven otherwise.

  14. Interesting subject Henry-on trust and friendships etc. As I’ve gotten older
    I believe things like trust, love or whatever have to be “earned” over time.
    This is why some of your best friends in life, go quite a way’s back in time,
    because they’ve proved themselves to you, and earned your trust.
       I believe that mankind is inherently “good” and if this were not the case
    evil dictators like Hitler, and “many others” would have all thrived, but most met
    their demise fairly quickly, as the good in mankind, called for their elimination.
       With that being said, I think we all must realize that mankind has a dark side
    to him, and will take advantage of people, if it meets his own gains. This applies
    to the smaller and more everyday things in life–so you have to allow time to
    reveal the quality of the person your dealing with, and whether to trust or not.
       For the more “important things in life”- I have a saying, and that is, that I don’t
    “distrust” anyone(within reason)-, however I “blindly trust nobody”– that is to say
    on important matters in life, no matter who your dealing with–always get things in
    writing, and protect yourself to the best of your ability. Maybe with the exception of
    your mother and father. ( maybe some siblings as well) You may think you have a best
    friend in life– but sometimes when the chips are on the table, and there’s a lot to
    gain–that friend may betray you, and soon become a “non friend”-very quickly. With
    that in mind–the word “trust” really has to be put in proper perspective. It all depends
    what’s at stake, which should determine your level of trust in someone, and your
    experience with that person in life. Good video Henry.
        BTW- big stakes in the PH is a lot different than here in the Western world, as
    they perceive something small, as being very big and important, so you must be
    careful in dealings on all matters. Let “people” earn your trust-thru “performance.”

    1. @Grant Bedard No problem Grant. I figured you might be on summer holidays or something because I know what the summers are like in Canada and it’s beautiful too like the Philippines checking out the great lakes and going swimming, exploring, cherry picking, Niagara Falls, visiting Grand Bend, going camping, fishing, etc etc. Having Tim Hortons for breakfast and lunch. Going to Canadian Tire to look around for good deals or Ikea for ideas. I miss it too sometimes but I have to stay focus here and to get things moving and get them done so my mind will be at ease.   

    2. I’ll get back to you shortly on your email
      Roland-sorry about that, I’ve been really
      busy with work etc, while the summer is
      here-talk to you soon-Grant

    3. @Grant Bedard Hey Grant I was waiting for your reply to my email. Anyways, my situation is totally different than yours regarding family and friends. Weird and a real shock for me as well because when I live with my cousins, they were close and caring for each other. My sisters on the other hand are a different story. One is a lesbian wanting to exert her “manliness” I suppose which is why she did what she did to me and the other sister is most likely under her husband’s influence (her husband is a grade 9 high school drop out, drinks everyday, chronic alcoholic, scamming no job dirt bag). This I found out later when I got here from Canada in 2012. They were not honest with me after my father died in 2008. So hence the problem I encountered and what I told you.  

    4. It’s true, trust isn’t automatic simply due to family ties.  In fact, many people trust old friends more than their own brother/sister due to character over time.

  15. Of course one can trust people in different ways, the Mexican and Filipino way of trusting people can perhaps be summarized as: “I kill for money – but you’re my friend so I can kill you for  free” …. – No problem to trust this or??

  16. Good subject Henry . Trust no one except yourself lol . The easy way out for me  is if someone asks to borrow money Simply ask them if they would like a job working for me . Usually solves the prob. almost every time Haha. Anyhow thanks again for the great video. Take care Aloha

    1. that’s pretty good since most will refuse.  but if they do work for you, believe me, they have scams for that too.  everything from broken/missing tools to valuables around the house suddenly disappearing.  people with no character or morals can’t be trusted under any circumstances.  they are to ingrained in solving their problems in the same manner.

  17. Let me turn this around : Who not to trust.
    Expats who are down on there luck, you know the one’s ” my funds have been mistakenly inpropetrely deposited wrongly and of course I’ll paying you back with a bonus. But it’s that innocent cara mahal that we gotten involved with is the real kicker as there is no end to those requests. Well there is. . Adiós mi amor.

  18. Every thing is Cause and Effect, to the degree oneself can be trustworthy so be it with others…first understand the matrix we are in, in latest story on this site  www.answerstofreedom.com  

  19. Who can I trust? I can’t even trust my sisters but that’s another story since they were raised here. I was raised mainly in North America and have gotten to have higher standards of morality. I don’t know why but that’s probably the difference between my “Canadianized” way of thinking rather than the “Filipino” way of thinking.

    You are right that there are not too many men here in the Philippines that you can trust, much less even walk away from them after a pleasant good conversation without thinking that they could be saying nasty stuff behind your back. Most Filipinos I have seen here are opportunistic and easily take advantage of you in a blink of eye. My lesson learned anyway from my sister’s husband and someone who bought my car from me. Greedy conniving people. I guess it’s the culture because the public officials themselves (politicians, cops, anyone in government bureaucracy) have set this type of example. Bribery for one is rampant and extortion is another thing, although you can meet some (there are a few, and a I mean “a few”) good people but that’s hard to say if they actually mean it or that they just have not had an opportunity to get one over you yet.

    It does take a while to give your trust to someone here. So far, the only people I can trust is my wife, my daughter, my mother and her caregiver. Others I am not too sure of. Hell, I can’t even trust my own lawyer who I hired to help me fight my sisters in a criminal  and civil matter.  In Canada, I could easily trust my friends with anything but here, there is literally no one yet that I could trust with my life. I always have to keep one eye open looking to see if they would take advantage of me. Maybe because I have been fortunate in life. Had a good paying job in Canada, managed to experience the good things in life, travel, own a luxury condo, had an SUV, etc etc despite not having to rely on my father. I rose from being a pauper to someone that is decent. Despite not having a really good education from a known university and have a University degree, I managed to survive. I only went to community college and completed a fast track technology course.

    I left the Philippines in my early teens so my father really had not provided for me like most families do. He never paid for my schooling, never was relying on him for food, clothing and shelter in Canada. It was only me and my mother and yet somehow, I don’t even see the relevance of why some people would want to take advantage of me. I worked all my life in Canada and had the lousiest crummiest jobs making minimum wage but that was how my character was developed and shaped me. I can honestly say, I never stole and took advantage of anyone while developing into manhood in Canada. It was actually the opposite. I was very mindful of my personal actions and always had a clear conscience. 

    Most people might think it should have developed me to be distrustful and resentful of others and should have developed a criminal character. I was never into “anti-social” behaviour. On the other hand, I saw myself as better than those who tried to take advantage of me and looked down on me because I look back at them and saw them as the “criminals” in society and NOT me. I have better dreams and ambitions in life than bother to be a devious “criminal’.  

  20. i think you’re looking at it from a different perspective.   seems like to you, trust means someone who can equal what you can give like the expats with $$ that can take you in or maybe lend you money if you need it etc..    
    trust,  to me is more about having and making friends whom will go above and beyond for you with what they have and it not being exclusive to financial needs but about being genuine friends otherwise.  someone who will invite you to their home even if they don’t have much but wants to enjoy your company and you feeling at ease without constantly wondering if  your backpack or motorcycle has been stolen..
      
     

    1. In it’s simplest form, for me trust is the assurance that a certain person is concerned with your condition in a positive manner, not a negative one.  That trusted person would do you no harm.

  21. i think this is a much bigger problem when you are perceived as having money. i never had a problem with people wanting money or loans from me until my late 20’s. i’m 31 now. i grew up poor, parents together didn’t make probably over 10k a year and their is 4 kids in my family. after high school i joined the army and had deployed twice. saved all i made and took out two large loans for a few rental properties. even though i wasn’t making much just people knowing i had rentals turned into a huge problem between me and friends/family. i couldn’t believe how attitudes changed towards me. since then i have lost several friends. made a rule quickly that i give no loans to anyone. if they need money they can do what i had to do and i send them to a bank. some even try the, “i can’t get a loan from the bank” i reply i don’t want to give them a loan for the same reasons… 🙂 its helped. i’m not in the business of giving loans and don’t plan to be. just be upfront about it and don’t budge.

  22. Thx as always.
    I really hope that we can find some trustworthy people if only we stay long enough.
    I have been around a lot, and what you say is true for so many countries.
    Even at home, the people you can really count on are hard to find. But as we are quite self sufficient, i guess we will just have to make the best out of it, isnt it?
    Few more month, and we will find out anyway!
    Stay well!

  23. Hey Henry….great insight on trust. Obviously this is not exclusive to the Philippines or other foreign countries. My rule is to trust nobody until it is earned. Even then it’s tougher in a country where there is a culture dissimilar to your own. Sometimes hard to pinpoint ones motive in your case. Good topic 🙂

    1. yes, i’ve noticed about 4 places here in town that do laundry.  they aren’t laundromats though, it’s a service that charges by the kilo of laundry.

  24. No men on  the trust list after two years and I have been listening to you for 1.5 years. I have picked up no new friends either and I am still here in the states. O K our interest lies in areas where we are not looking for nor are we seeking new male friends. We are pursuing areas probably closer to our next Romance.  

    1. I really don’t have much to discuss with filipino men.  We don’t share many common interests since i don’t follow sports, i’m a light drinker, don’t smoke, etc.  But the women.. wow, I can talk to them for hours.   🙂

  25. Hi Henry, what’s your opinion about an African American man visiting the Philippines to find a girlfriend? As you said in another video, they love blonde hair blue eyed foreigners, and that is my biggest fear. I wouldn’t know if a Filipina is really interested in me or just the fact that I’m American and she thinks I have money.

    I’m not a bad catch, I’m in college, I don’t have any kids, and I don’t do drugs, but like you said, because of the way some of the women act in regards to money and “white” foreigners, every time one contacted me online, I never was sure if it was really me she was attracted to. 

    So do you think a Filipina or her family would care if I’m black? I know many love black music, but that is different, is my fear just that “MY FEAR” or does it have merit?

    1. @Gabri’el Alexander 
      I know an Afro American who’s lived on Boracay for years, he’s very happy. Like Henry always says in his dating advice videos, “don’t meet them online, that’s usually a formula for trouble.” Just approach them when you’re there, it’s easy to get phone numbers.

    2. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines  Thank You! I wish I found you back in freshman year of college, when I was new the online dating, I was contacted by many Filipina women, mostly all of them had no fear of asking a guy they just met 3 days ago, for a few hundred dollar, but I sadly did fall for one girl, but she was a HUGE player. I guess you could call it shopping around but she was always distracted with talking to other guys

    3. It’s an odd thing.  When Filipinas see a White or African American.. they don’t question it.  But when they see a Hispanic American, they ask me, “So where did you live before you went to America?”  ha!   You won’t have any problem, believe me.  Just take it slow and be selective who you spend your time with, because you will have many choices upon arrival.  🙂

  26. yes who do you trust only a hand full were i live in australia only family .but heading to the Philippines next month ,but thanks for the info .if i see you i will say hi and have a chat ,im heading to Cebu then down to Dumagete ,just for a couple of weeks ,should be fun . thanks for the videos. 

  27. moral of the story is this… dont surround urself with ppl with no money… stick with high class ppl who comes from executive villages…. with good paying jobs… 

    i personallly ever had a problem….. but then again i dont have ppl i dont like nor i dont trust in my personal circle

    1. Many men come here and fall in love with a girl from a poor family.  They love her for who she is, not based on how rich her family is.  So, while your situation works for you, isolating yourself from any poor people, the majority of expats here must find ways to handle issues that come up with marrying a girl from a poor family.  They love the woman, so they take on that challenge as part of the package.

  28. hi henry,i really agree with u on this topic.
    for me,i place my trust on the wrong group of people.
    like the people in the church that i’ve stay in last year while im in mindanao,i trust them with 100% but sad to say that after i left philippines,they started to say i’ve own them lots of things,like money.

    1. i’ve worked behind the scenes with enough churches and pastors to know this much.. (a) churches are for sinners, not ‘good people’.  (b)  not all sinners clean up their act quickly.  ha!   so that means even at a church you gotta discern who is mature is who is still sketchy.  and that’s any country you go to.

  29. so true,  some of my so called friends now keep asking or borrowing money. I try to avoid them or make some BS explanation that I’m broke. I know they don’t believe me, and they just don’t stop..

  30. Only a few pinoys have asked me for money in the two years I been living here. I tell them that Banks and Pawn Shops must have a Government Permit to loan money…………and since I have no Permit and no money either I am not able to loan out money………LOL………money that never ever gets repaid…..LOL! 

  31. This is a generalization but you tend to find you can trust be who have as much if not more cash than you do as they have more to loose than you.  I say it is a generalization as I do have some good friends here who have less than I do and they are very great guys.  On the side of Filipino guys I would say I don’t have any as friends, some for the usual reason i.e. that after a while you figure out your the one who always seems to be picking up the tab at the bar, not lots of cash but on principal I do prefer people to at least offer to buy a drink now and again. The other reason is we have so little in common, their view on life and the world are completely different, they are very insular and care less about anything outside their country were as I like to see what’s happening everywhere not just my small islands.  One thing is for sure trust is a very very valuable commodity here I can count on one hang maybe two the people I do trust, when you have money everyone wants to be your friend, when you have none, very few of those people will be still there.  Anyway keep up the good work I enjoy watching the videos and comparing your thoughts to my own on how things are here.

  32. I do not trust any Filipino man, woman, elder, or kids.  I do not trust my wife, I not trust my daughter or any Filipino.  Filipinos say lies and pretend to be decent and honest people to gain your trust.  They steal and lie in a compulsive natural manner.  They steal from you or anybody way too easy. No matter how good of a provider you are, you Filipinos family member will see a money sign in your face and will never genuinely love you. Bus, Motorcycle, Taxi Drivers, Rich and poor, University graduates or people whom leaved overseas are the same way.  Local drivers kill innocent people every day and run away.  Yesterday 19 November 2014 there were 3 registered hits and run including a police officer.  Men urinate in the publicly in streets of Makati or Alaban (real affluent areas) in front of married ladies or little girls and cops / police look the other way.  Police always try to get money from you when they stop you specially if you are foreigner

  33. Hi  Henry,
    To view the you tube and listen to your thoughts of  the Philippines has been a great learning curve to me, i am going to your main site now life beyond the sea because i have learned so much today and you come across as a great guy which most people will agree, i would like to make a comment about  trust, i have now recently come back from the philippines after meeting some what i thought were trusted filipina men i met who worked on a cruise ship from New York to Miami, greta holiday not many of us brits but wow was i made felt welcome,  they were very nice and after speaking via e-mail for months about  their country i arranged to meet a lady in manila and they were going to pick me up at the airport, This all happened, and for the first 3 days it was great, but these nice men i had be-friended would always turn up and want  to take me places but at a cost maybe a couple of thousand pesos, then by  the 5th  day what a shame i had to return from a month booked holiday, a present the beautiful lady gave me which now  needed the doctor, all these negative things, but listening to about 12 of your you tube presentations has now once again given me the appetite to try and travel again, and by what i have just listened too, dont arrange anything with a lady arrive and chill and just look, would be interested how you are doing now are you still their in paradise, Kev Warne

  34. Here in the Philippines, it is really the culture of most Filipinos to borrow some money and that is not only true with the foreigners. That is very evident between friends and families, especially if one of the member of the family is living or working from outside the islands. How do you think the Indians and the Bombays survived with their lending businesses here? It is the culture. They would just line up for help. Before you marry, you need to communicate this issue with your Filipina wife first. Budget is budget, trust is a different things. You will notice that in the long run some eventually becomes a part of your budget.

    Talking about trust. I have heard some Filipinas were genuinely disgusted and angry on some foreigners who would come and meet them here in the Philippines. Two that I just heard is that, the girl was invited to meet her American boyfriend in Manila only to found out there were at least 6 of them and they lined up for interview outside the room. Isn’t that disgusting? I heard this from many Filipinas so, what is the outcome of this? Trust is a terrible thing to discuss and generalize a culture because you (foreigners who had done wrong) haven’t examined what they did to get what they had.

    Just can’t help giving my two cents. The question of trust is universal. But the way I read the comments here, the Filipinos were laughed at and degraded. Maybe, if this is your issue, you should just visit the Philippines and not look for a wife and that ends the trust issue.

    1. Oh naw @Shirley Bongbong 🙂 i’m not meeting all 8 girls at the same time haha, i’m meeting them in a 30 day period spending 3 to 5 days with each girl, Yes they already know i have other friends i be meeting & they told me they ok with it….

      I have to make sure who gonna be the right girlfriend for me & these 8 girls are closer then any of the thousands of other girls online & the Hundreds of American girls in my town….

      Speaking of American girls only reason i do not date them anymore is they always break my heart, either cheat on me or try to control my every life or just want nothing but sex, tire of getting my heart broken & i’m not the type of guy to sleep with woman so if i do not do it with american girls i surely won’t do it with filipino’s, but i love asia/filipino’s girls they are the most friendly, respectful & hottie girls i ever seen in my opinion 🙂

      So that my story of why i’m going to meet the 8 girls, i will see how it goes & choose one girl…..but thanks for all your advise & you have a God giving Bless day 🙂 🙂 

    2. Blacklisted means, even though they speak to you, they won’t agree on their girl having a relationship with you.

      BTW, having 8 women to meet at the same time, seems like fun but sounds like a game. Choose one and visit only one. Otherwise tell the girls you are meeting other women so they know what to do and how to treat you. Transparency is a must.

      Do not touch or go to bed with any of the women until you decide whom you want to have a relationship. They expect you choose them. What a pity!

      Have a nice day.

    3. Thanks for that advise there & i check out your site, looks cool 🙂 well i am a good kisser so it should be easy to kiss her hand once she tell me how to do it haha…

      That a great idea & i love to meet her family, even her friends are interest in meeting me but at this point she not my girlfriend yet….more of my bestie….best friend, i have to decide & make sure she the one but i can tell you she surely is most likely closer then the other girls are who are my friends….

      It like this, I be coming to Philippines on Nov 22 & staying until Dec 24 🙂 🙂 I be meeting 8 girls there…………( 100+ girls want to meet me but i only selected 8 out of 100+ coz they stick with me almost 2 years even through bad times, also 8 is my favor number lol)……………….The city’s i be visiting are, Davao city first, Iloilo city second, Boracay alkan third, Pampanga Angeles forth, & Manila last…

      I find this awesome suitecase call Samsonite-luggage spinner on the lick below…..comes with lock key & it what i be using to lock all my stuff, every traveler should have this, plus i do not trust the hotel safe box, hear story’s & reviews of people working at hotels breaking in them so i be using suitecase as my safe box….

      http://www.amazon.com/Samsonite-Luggage-Fiero-Spinner-Black/dp/B00EAKJXQS/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top?ie=UTF8

      Those places you listed above if i have enough time i might visit them,hear a lot of great things about Cebu 🙂 🙂 I always wonder if the KFC there taste like our KFC hahaha so i only be sticking to Popular Resturants & big Grocery story’s 🙂 Not worry about getting fat coz i never gain wright, i’m skinny lol…..some of my friends actually think i’m getting smaller, like i’m shrinking hahahaha…

      I always respect everybody so i respect the old people as well, but i’m guessing blacklisted means they either look down on you or never speak to u again?

        

    4. Oh for the old people, you can bless their hand. Your girlfriend will tell you how. She should guide you in everything. However, never ever argue with old people ha ha or you will regret it. You get blacklisted in their eyes ha ha

    5. For the airline, yes to Cebu Pacific.

      For the old people, yes, you should bless their hand.

      For bringing people and relatives to your hotel, make it one or two tag alongs. Just advise you need to meet all in one setting, like you have a dinner in a restaurant. Sort of Family gathering with the girl you eyeing to spend your life with/or girlfriend. If not, there is no need to treat a lot of people. They will understand it as privacy.

      I haven’t met any foreigner that I should cater for meds but that is common sense or maybe am old ha ha. If you get sick, you do not know which meds to drink here so better bring your own.

      For the chocolates, yes you can bring one from the US or buy from the duty free here.

      Secure your luggage with small padlocks.

      For the street food, you can eat what you like, make sure you dont get diarrhea. Your friends know what to do and where to bring you to eat. However, would be nice to eat in a proper restaurant, and if you are not so conscious with weight you can eat KFC or McDO to be safe. Eat Filipino foods. enjoy your stay.

      Places to visit:
      Butanding, Oslob Cebu – whale sharks
      Boracay
      Palawan – cave
      Bohol – tarsier
      also, you can go island hopping
      there is also yellow submarine in Cebu
      Camiguin island – hot and cold spring, sunken cemetery
      ha ha visit my site http://philippineswhitepages.com/. I need to update it though, but you can get some ideas.

  35. This is a great, and thoughtful video for any expat going to the Phillipines, Thailand, etc.

    I think knowing 40 people you can trust is just amazing, because I can think of about three Americans, and all of those are former military. I don’t know enough people of the expat community in Thailand yet, maybe I could add a half dozen from there. A lot of them only have one agenda.. save money, live safely, and stay out of trouble. Many of them are of the age that they no longer drink or fight, and actively want to live the quiet life under the radar. I’ll decide further once I actually cross the Pacific in 2016.

  36. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some great Filipinos and Filipinas. Met a few bad ones and opportunists too. It’s quite sad the poverty can change everything. It does take time to get to know people in any country. I try to find educated young professionals when I travel around Philippines.

    1. +B Adventures any group comes with a mixed bag. i enjoy the company of many older expats who have been in the PH many years and learned to acclimate properly.

  37. As a Filipino expat (filipino living in Canada), I have the same dilemma/issues with whom to trust. I have a huge extended family in Bais and all of Negros Oriental, and coming from a moderately wealthy family with deep roots in the social and political fabric of the community, I have a very short list of whom I can trust. My status is magnified by the fact that most people believe that I have deep pockets just for the fact that I live in the West. Little do they know that living in the West means less leisure/personal time and less disposable income.

  38. very nice thoughts and very expressives words.. good speech my dear friend…as a filipina i am very empress your ability to speak it out with true feelings and words….i am totally agree .thank you for sharing with us.

    1. Sorry to hear about your betrayal! I had a similar experience also so I can relate to you on this one. The Moral for me was be very careful who you trust and even withthose you do even then still there is no guarantee! We must hope for the best we put our trust in yet be must still be prepared for anything!

  39. Just remember what Joe Stalin said, “I trust no one, not even myself.” My mother once told me, “Consider yourself lucky if you find one true friend in your life.”

  40. After living in the Philippines for years I have come to the same conclusion, your a fool if you trust the men over there. I agree with everything you have said in this video. Time is the key in trust

  41. No doubt that you’re finding it the same where you are, now. To be honest, I’ve found that the worst scammer – a specific individual – comes from my own country, however, he’s been able to convince “the locals” to scam me, many times. He seems to get off on that.

    As for who I’d trust in The PI; up until my last visit I’d have said many, now, the number is smaller, still, as I said, some idiot from my own country is to blame. Must be a jealousy thing.

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