Video Diary; Jun 25, 2014 – Back to Being Single Again

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130 comments

  1. I hope you don’t give your self a hard time about this break up. Take a breath then hit the reset button and continue the adventure called life.

    All the best from Australia

  2. Too bad … that’s tough.  In times like this, I always remember to count my blessings, focus on the positive, and march to the beat of my own drum … no matter what.  I’m sure you guys parted amicably and everything will work out for the best … good luck to both of you. 

    1. For the last eight years or so, I’ve had the full theme song from ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’ in my MP3 rotation.  ha!  I even sing it in the shower sometimes.  Great show.. Howard Hessman was my favorite.  Well, him and Loni Anderson of course.  🙂

  3. you win some you lose some. thats life.   april was pretty though 🙂  but sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.   safe travels, buddy.

  4. All the best Henry in your travels….. so much to see over there.
    Coming up in October thinking of going to Bohol and the Camotes Islands and maybe some island hopping. Keep those videos rolling !!!!!

  5. Hi Henry. I have been following you for a while. Pity about April, but thats life I guess. A quick one, I haven’t seen anything on Boracay yet. Have you been there yet? Greetings from South Africa

  6. Nice talk… – But – All knowledge is based on experience and results in it… – I hope not, you get stuck in an excessive need for control of life… – Try to keep the  “child” ingenious spontaneity and imagination….  –  Relax end enjoy the uncontrollable…
    -Best Regards from Stockholm Sweden

    1. @jim nichols
      The pic is from the time when I did have the most of my future in front of me (1968) Today I am sure I have the future behind me…hi hi hi

  7. I am still crazy for my Beth. We’ve been communicating for over 2 years and I have to get there. Seeing your video’s is encouraging to me. I WONT GIVE UP. I thank you for sharing this and encouraging – well, I am encouraged with seeing and you sharing your video’s with US.

  8. Take good care of yourself!  Keep your head up and wishing you the best.  Don’t close your heart and mind to the possibilities.  As my wife would say, nothing wrong with going solo flight to the movies and to have friends. Thanks for sharing your low and high points of your adventure with us…………………

  9. One of the most common mistakes American expats can make here is to judge Philippine life by American values. It’s not America; it’s the Philippines and if you want to live here successfully, you’ll need to get to know the Philippines and not do so in relation to American ways. 

    There are good reasons why things are the way they are here; those who come here with bright eyed plans to fix things so that they’re more like America find nothing but problems. Filipinas are wonderful, but if you try to fit them into that scheme they won’t be happy. 

    Learn from your experience and strive to understand what it means to be a Filipino. And always remember that marriage is forever here; there’s no divorce. Filipinas are very aware of that and won’t be as “easy” as you’re used to. Choose one of similar age and social status / beliefs and go from there; forget the “may / december” stuff. 

    Take the time to do it right and you’ll find that a Filipina wife is a treasure beyond anything you can imagine. I’ve been living here much longer than you have, and I’m happily married to a Filipina. She is a delight; totally devoted and so easy to get along with. I hope you’ll find your way to the same joy. 

    Want a crash course? Come to Metro Manila and I’ll show you what Filipino life looks like, up close and personal. You’ll learn very quickly what you can and cannot get away with. It won’t hurt a bit and you’ll benefit greatly from the lessons.

  10. Wow, sad to hear that, but you are such a positive person, i guess life goes on, right? (for both of you)

    I really hope that you are around the visayas in 8 months or so, i really would enjoy to pay you a beer or a fried chicken^^. We all enjoy watching your channel very much!

    1. Thanks, and I’ll definitely be in the Visayas area, either in Dumaguete or near Cebu/Bohol.  I know some good BBQ places we could hit up.  🙂

  11. Such is life with women. 🙂     That’s why I tried to fast forward my wife and answer all her questions before she got here.  No, I’m not buying a house, No out bank accounts will be separate 🙂 , No, I don’t want kids for the first 5 years.  and if she still wants to move forward you can say, ” I told you so”.  🙂    I’m sure ” the one” will just fall in your lap, and it will just be natural.  

  12. at least you where man enough to not string it out so she will respect you and still be your friend take and keep the blogs coming they are great

    1. No good deed goes unpunished.  I could have strung it out, been selfish about it and then broken up with her later.  But I don’t want to waste her time or have some superficial relationship.  

  13. Good things don’t last. The “no so good things” follows. Life goes on… eventually and as always…good things follow suit. Nature never stop working. Have another good day bro. Rickay

    1. The grand creator should have just installed switches for affairs of the heart. That way we could turn them off and on when desired. But what would be the fun in that? 🙂

    2. Just in the last day since word got out I’m single again.. I’ve been getting offers left and right.  ha!  But.. I need a break from the whole relationship thing for.. a long time.   🙂

  14. just hang in there my friend! I can imagine there’s some pressures involved making your personal life as public as you have on here… I understand what you’re going through and all I can say is you’re one of the good ones and don’t EVER forget that!!!

    1. Thanks.  I try to find a balance between sharing my life and preserving my privacy in certain areas.  All my life I’ve been something of an ‘open book’ to people for the most part.

  15. You are young, I was I 55 think when I met my wife. We just got in from working in the field together this morning.  After being with her for five years I would never want to be single again.  I wish you well in the future. Your time will come with the right woman I believe.

    1. I hope so.  But at this present time, I feel more comfortable with my freedom than with the security of a relationship.  That will change with time again.  Freedom means doing a lot of stuff alone, which allows me to focus on my ‘work’ here.  In the PH it’s not too hard to scare up a date for the movies or a day at the beach so I really can’t complain.  But eventually I need someone I can both confide in and trust.  Trust being the most elusive character trait anywhere on the planet.  Without it, I’d rather be single.

  16. April seemed like a sweetheart. It’s too bad things didn’t work out. You’re doing great. I’m allergic to cats, that would be a deal breaker for me.

    1. April is truly a wonderful person, very sweet and loving in so many ways.  I was really envisioning a long-term relationship.  However, some things just can’t be worked around and it was best we went our own ways rather than see things eventually fall apart later down the road with one or both of us unhappy with certain situations.

  17. Okaaaay.   Maybe a little bit too much dwelling on the break up. But I feel you. It reminds me of that song tough: 10 CC-I AM NOT IN LOVE (LYRICS)

  18. Henry, I do not think you finished your work here explaining, as only you can, Life in the Philippines to your followers. We are not just your readers.
    Turn the page and do what you do best. Life is bitter sweet sometimes, but a close-up smile from one of the Filipino ladies will help fade the thoughts of yesterday.

  19. I just wanted to add that in today’s culture and modern day mores and customs, there are relationships that are for example open relationships or open marriages. Some are marriage of convenience just because they feel more safe with each other which is usually really good if both have developed very close personal friendships. So nothing personal or anything but what is better and if it feels right for both parties then that kind of arrangement is pretty much accepted although some of the older people with conservative views may not agree especially those with very religious beliefs. It only depends now on how open people are to accepting these type of relationship arrangements. These kind of relationship arrangements is nothing new to Europeans and North Americans so some of you may already know these kind of open relationships. What is important in these relationships is there is a mutual respect and understanding and it sort of removes jealousies and sexual or moral inhibitions which may be something new for some. Just adding my thoughts on the subject.

  20. It’s all about psychology… Just tell every filipina you meet that you only want to be friends, nothing more…. This will drive a pinay crazy and they will not know how to react…

  21. I’m sure there’s a 1000 different ways to look at one thing. But one year really is not enough,  in my option if you had a marriage before…I think after one year you enter a new level of the relationship where you get to know the Real Everyday lifestyle of a person. I would not entertain talk of marrying till two years…but then. that’s Only my option in my life…your a good guy henryfrom what I see in your video’s…..there will be many more ladys

    1. 2 years is good too, but I don’t think I could risk a full two years only to decide not to marry.  But it’s not just the time, it’s time spent together.  If during that year the couple spends much of their time working opposite shifts.. the face-time gets cut dramatically, requiring more time.

  22. Henry…dude just forget about her! consider your self lucky…your still in paradise!!! focuse on your novell and just do your thing…Im coming over next year to see the phils maybe we can grab a beer buddy.

  23. I am heading to Dumaguete on 22rd July never been there before. I arrive in Cebu at 4am then go pick up my gf and 8 month old baby then get a 10.30am flight to Dumaguete . I travel from Australia to Cebu every month and i am a bit bored there so try somewhere else. Probably will stay at Go hotel.

  24. Great insights on a complicated subject Henry…Thanks for sharing so much of your life with us. I could learn much from you in that I have always given my heart and commitment much too easily. For me it boils down to the trust issue. Not, as in, trusting them with your money or in matters of faithfulness, but trusting your new Love to be the same person they let you see at first, once the newness wears off. And I’m not criticizing anyone, as we all have that tendency to put our “best foot forward” when we first meet someone and are interested in them. I guess I’m saying that I think your sort of “rule of thumb” of a year is a very wise idea, as I think it would be most difficult, if not impossible, to be someone who you are not for as long as a year without the “real you” (and them) showing through in ways that set off the internal alarm that we all possess and ignore to our peril. I’m, of course, not casting any aspersions on your, now previous, girlfriend, but just speaking of Love relationships in general. Kind Regards, Russ

  25. Thanks for sharing this with us and being honest and open.  Enjoy your life and do what’s right for you.  PI is a wonderful place to be a single guy.  I have been going to PI for the 12 years for about 3 times a year.  I plan to retire their in 2016!! 

  26. Sorry to hear about your split. Honestly, I believe that it is a blessing in disguise for your channel. Preferably, I enjoy seeing you travel and experiencing new things. In fact, I’d love for you to visit Malapascua island. Thanks for opening up your life to us all. Very entertaining and informative. Aloha from Hawaii.

    1. Thanks.  Now that it’s been about a week since the breakup, I do feel much more “in my element” as a single-guy on my own recon.  Being in a relationship was wonderful in so many ways, but even in a good relationship a person has to take the other’s plans into consideration.  Now.. if I get an idea to do something, I just do it.  🙂

  27. Oh well Henry–I guess it was good while it lasted. I really think that since
    you’ve been married before and had kids, I just can’t see you raising
    someone else’s kids and taking on all that responsibility ??? You’ve already
    done your time in that respect, and time to find someone who’s life is not
    weighted down, or predetermined by her domestic circumstances, which
    really narrows your life options. This is just my opinion of course Henry, but
    I think you’d be better off with a woman with no kids, or an older woman with
    kids already grown up–so you would still have your freedom to do various
    things.I think you just need a break right now from relationships for awhile,
    and soon you’ll be ready for the next one-“maybe the perfect one.” Good
    luck, and keep up the great videos–it allows us viewers to actually experience
    a lot of things about that culture, without having to be there. Great learning
    experience for me I’ll tell you.( Grant- in- Canada)

  28. It’s more fun in Filipinas if you stay single man! ..don’t get stuck with relationships.. Enjoy your energy to explore more..! Stay cool man! 🙂

  29. Just a thought.. how about you guys..Filipinas Vloggers to join forces sometimes in one video…like, Philippine Dreams, SoYummyKaya, LifeBeyondtheSea, Travis Kraft ..and others for atleast one video..and share it with your viewers about your vlogs all at the same time about Filipinas…it would be a blast I think.. lol! All of you together! just like some Pranksters on Youtube kind of stuff…they accumulated thousands of views.. well

    1. Philippines Dreams & his g/f live nearby here in Dumaguete, we just had dinner together earlier this week.  I think the others are kinda scattered around the islands though.  Would be fun if we could all get in one place.  🙂

  30. That’s exactly correct, Brother Henry. Why would you want to settle down? What would it offer you? There are so many places to visit, so much to do and so many beautiful ladies to meet. Why tie yourself down with only one–especially the “package? ” There is no advantage or reason for guys like us that have already been there, done that and sure the hell ain’t doing it again. Stick to ladies who have no kids and have never been married. They can provide “company” and compliment your travels instead of hindering your active lifestyle.

    Good luck and God Bless.

    Stick to the ladies without kid

  31. Hi Henry i need some help. I am coming to Dumaguete on 22nd July. What hotel is more central to stay in Hotel Palwa or Go Hotel thanks Paul……

  32. Mladen got some serious beef sounds like must be a she with bad experience. Anyhooo, Henry, jst keep on chugn toot tooot life goes on keep your train movin don’t rush I tell you what if I have to do it all over again I would stay single though I love my wife but man sometimes I just want to get on a train and chug alone. Sometimes a peace of mind is all we really need sometimes an esoteric wisdom comes from achieving self continuity without foreign influence from anyone or anything how did one achieve ultimate enlightenment of life as such a Buddhist philosophical ways. The more I think of Confucious the more I get confuse lol.

  33. I think I know what the issue is regarding women: You want what many of us “go to the Philippines for” – it’s the culture that I think is clashing with your interests. You seem like many of us who are from the USA and want to see the world. Many people cannot do this and for us who can, there is a big freedom that goes with it. IMHO the culture there is opposite from what you want to really do. You try to juggle both lifestyles and in the end your own persona interests WILL kick in – which means you won’t have the relationship. 

    I saw your last girlfriend as someone who ‘eventually’ was going to try to take away your freedom (no other way to put it @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines – lol) and thats where both of your interests clash. The only way YOU are going to be happy is if you find someone who has exactly the same interests as you. You do not want to get hooked with a woman and start a family because I believe you went to the Philippines to get away from that. Yes the image of the women seem heavenly ‘at first’, but if you like your freedom then you have to be YOU and they have to look for another ‘rare’ person from the USA who is looking to have what they want out of life.

    I listened to a few interviews of girls whom I explained that I wanted to have company with and enjoy my time there when I go this Fall. 90% of them only cared in telling me what THEY WANTED and how being a virgin somehow is something that a person from the USA wants. I’ve never wanted a virgin as I don’t believe there are any and even if there are…what can she do for me? – She doesn’t know how to do anything! But it is in their heads that they are going to find someone / anyone who has a means to take care of a family, raise that family, change their religion to become whatever the Filipino woman’s religion is, accept their parents who will try to move in with you and your new bride and live off of you – making your life of just wanting to have fun and enjoy the beauties of that country, a living hell.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that ‘some of us’ have the intentions of visiting there with our monies being enough to make us happy ‘individually’ and IF we can find a pretty woman who has her own money and wants to be with us, then something can work. All I’m hearing (and seeing for myself from the women I’m currently meeting on a pre-visit basis), are misusing my gratuity without knowing or caring if I have just helped them out with my last bit of money or not. I’m still pissed about the asking if their mother can visit my hotel when I get there – the mother has already broken her plate with me because I gave the girl money to get her a tattoo of my design (because she said she liked it) but in over paying for the tattoo the girl tells me that the mother took the rest of the money and that she was not supposed to even get a tattoo. I was thinking she lived by herself, had some income but with 3 kids she was just short of getting a tattoo or something. But my gratuity was turned into a thing where she is going to be punished by the parents NOT paying for the kids’ school supplies (a trick IMO to get me to send ‘pitty-money’ for the kids), as-if it’s my fault. 

    I’m almost having second thoughts of even making the trip, my friend.

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines That’s good to hear. I’m still going to make my visit (I said a few things to get my head clear), as I am the one in charge of my life and will not allow myself to be used in any of the ways of a Filipino woman. I’m NOT there to get hooked up and it’s also funny how we are considered ‘playboy’ simply because we have our own idea of enjoying life that may be different than their ‘traditional’ ways. I respect others culture but not at the expense of changing when it seems none of them are willing to make ‘any’ changes themselves. I wan’t the Tourist-package because when my 40 days and nights are over – I’m coming back. It just seems like, even though it’s nice that the women have that traditional way – it clashes with my idea of having to pay for everything. Now if I get lucky as you in finding a Filipino with her own money, THEN I will look to the next level of relationships. But it has to be a 50%-50% one. Thanks, as you can see I am really learning from your videos! – lol 😉

    2. I think you’re onto something with that.  Which is why I originally did not want to date a single mother.  But, I met April and decided to be flexible.. give it a chance, felt like I was being ‘selfish’ with my own plans.  But.. it turned out I should have stuck to what I’d already given much thought to.. my original plan.  A few days ago I was referred to an older woman, 40, who is divorced from a foreigner, has her own money, kids and life but not looking for a relationship.  So far it’s working out good for both of us.  She has her life and I have mine, but we meet regularly (and exclusively).. but without any expectations beyond that.  I’ve told her I’m not looking for a wife and she wants her freedom as well so, for now it’s a very good situation.

  34. Hey Henry, Don’t talk much about your personal life online, because I feel lots of people have Evil Eye..I know it sounds out there but believe me….as long as you keep your personal life private, it will be successful…when you talk to other people…they kinda put their vibe on it and it crashes away.

    I’m also in the Philippines and as soon as i start talking about my personal life, it breaks apart and when i keep it private it all remains cool….

    1. I try to stay vague on personal details, but I hear what you’re saying.  Someone stalked my last g/f on Bohol at her resto.  The bad news there is that she left me for him.  Sucks but, at least I found out quick where her priorities are.

  35. But how would i know the true beauty of a philippina when these days, the trend is everyone goes artificial, meaning even more than that, like having a nose job, or u know, a surgery. I am someone who believe in anything natural. So?

    1. Here in the PH, I’d say 99% of girls here are natural beauty.  They don’t have money for cosmetic surgery.  Maybe some whitening lotion and basic cosmetics, but not high-cost changes from a surgeon.  It’s part of what I love about Filipina women.. they are simply naturally beautful without all the stuff off the shelf.  I’ve seen province women who knock the socks off of any woman in the city that had ‘work’ done.  Jaw-dropping beauty, can’t explain it any other way.

  36. Thanks for sharing your experiences.  As crushing as ending a relationship can be, I know that you will not be wanting for female company there, which will make things easier. 

    I’ve managed to go through 3 filipina girlfriends, although I had good intentions with all of them.  I’ve been to the Philippines 19 times, but will finally move there for good in january.  I think for the first time, I will try the unattached dating route for a while.

     I’m not even sure if it is possible to remain single there. I will be following your exploits here over the next few months with interest to see whether you can withstand temptation or not.

    1. Hi Henry,

      Yes..you are, and you spoke with some conviction about remaining unattached for the foreseeable future…Good for you!

      I’ve been scammed and cheated enough in long distance relationships to make staying single an attractive proposition for a while…at least for the first few months after i get there.

      You may be on the move again by the time i move there, but I hope to catch up to you in Duma, Cebu, or wherever you may be and compare notes..

      Thanks again for your videos…they are awesome.

      Your calmness in the face of the daily trials you face in the Philippines had made me a huge admirer or yours.  I am hoping that is a trait i can copy once i get there for good.

  37. Really enjoy your videos with tons of practical down to earth advice. Would happily buy you a beer in gratitude for all your work if you were ever in Cebu or Manila. How to contact you?

  38. good attitude henry just how you wish her the best and there no animosity or spite feelings towards her, it just simply didnt work out. i would just relax and enjoy my touring if someone comes along great and if someone doesnt its all good.hmm do you see yourself having a relationship with a western backpacker/expat on your travel or are you more attracted to filipinas?

    1. she and i text once in a great while.  even hung out a bit in the mall for a bit one day.  but we each need to move on and i truly want her to be happy in her future.

  39. Henry , I think you are a hopless romantic at heart . You know what they say , love will find you when you are not looking . Best of luck .  Enjoy Cebu ,great place.  Thanks again for all the great video. Aloha

    1. It’s my Achille’s Heel.   I do believe that ‘mutual love’ that is real is very rare in this life and if it comes along, maybe moving heaven and earth to preserve it is what must be done when you find it.

  40. good luck to you henry…love your videos…i was born and raised in the philippines but i live here now in the u.s.of a. here is my take on marriage, and just my opinion it’s better to marry into your own culture .been married with the same woman close to 40 yrs. now, for me it’s a lot more easier..

    1. I’m going to be taking an indefinite break from searching for the ‘right’ woman.  It may come to me, I may have to sift through and seek some more.  But for now, just gonna step back and take a break from relationships.  🙂

  41. So are you like retired or something, won it lucky at the casino so you don’t have to work.. Anyway must be great to tour around Phil when you feel like it..

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines
      well you are good looking and honest man it seem with good intention.ou also have keen observations and i wish you the best!
      ,I married a very nice girl  very pretty she won many pageants even some national titles was a actress did a few movies but she was nt a good actress , ust did not look pinoy and could cry of command she she always played a wife that was mistreated.
      I meet 4 woman in 1999 she was the only one that did not lie to me.
      But she changed and life goes on, have been writing woman for about a year and a half as soon as my divorce i knew i wish to return to the Philippines for a new mate, but will not marry for a long time will date for maybe two years this time and really know the girl make sure her dreams and goal in life at least do not conflict, would be best that they match.
      Have two nice girls the best one from a small Island she is the oldest in her family

  42. Now here my opinion on relationship which is not really the word of my choice..when I meet my husband the first time I thought really. But I am more the old fashion one hunky punky until married. So how we did it and my husband was for it too. he happen to be an old fashion too. So work perfect for us. I think if  have a girl I would also raise like I was…But I wasn’t to lucky to have a girl. But I see your point I think maybe you made a good choice. So good luck..being in the Island. I hope I get to visit by next Jan.2015.. god bless to you..

  43. hi ive totally enjoyed all ur videos on the Philippines. I am online dating a filipina  lady and thing r going grate but that’s online. I agree with u on the 2  , 4 , 6 months. best of luck there

  44. sorry two ear that mate lest you r still friends my girlfriend is 49 I’m 33 im from the united kingdom I’m comeing over two see her in the Philippines in the summer

    1. +jason Gould since then i’ve actually seen her performing twice now with no incident. she even gave me a big wave and shout-out from the stage each time. the caller who threatened me turned out to be her ex-boyfriend. but the chief point in all of this is that it’s very easy to meet a filipina here who has some stalker ex-b/f or husband that may pop up. could happen (and does happen) to just about any expat meeting a filipina for the first time. even filipinas dating online often are separated and still married, but don’t say anything about it.

  45. Henry, the best part of my relationships is when it’s new, its never that exciting again. Been married 18 years so I don’t have commitment issues, but the memories of that new exciting love are the best so you have that to look forward to every time you break up

    1. that would be laurie and lulu. 🙂 the google-map to their juice-bar is in the comments section for that video. since that video was uploaded, lulu has gotten married and laurie has a b/f. (their other helper/friend also got engaged) lulu moved from the PH to be with her (now)-husband.

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