Vid-Diary; Your Social Reputation (2of2) – Philippines

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55 comments

  1. Ive picked Dumaguete to retire to (theoretically). I would love to see some of the area and your take on the city. Im going there in January 2015 for 3 weeks as a preview. Good luck to you and love your videos

    1. I plan to begin touring the town and sharing with all of you here.  Just as I got my apartment all set up, I came down with some flu that has had me tired out last couple of days.  But I’ll bounce back and be ‘out there’ again.  🙂

  2. How true.  🙂  You would think by the time most guys are our age, they’d figure these OBVIOUS things out for themselves, but you know they don’t. LOL  

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines HENRY I THINK YOU ARE HAVEING FUN SEARCHING AND IM HAPPY YOU ARE TAKEING YOUR TIME TO FIND THE RIGHT GIRL.  I FOR 1 DO NOT LIKE DRAMA.  THIS IS A COMMON TRAIT IN CEBU AREA.  YOU CAN EASILY TELL IF THEY ARE A DRAMATIC GIRLS.  THATS MY ONLY ADVICE.  I HAVE BEEN WITH THE SAME PHILIPPINA FOR 10 YEARS AND ALTHOUGH I CANT SAY ITS BEEN COMPLETELY DRAMA FREE, I LOVE HER AND WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER.  I DO NOT FEAR HER GOING ANYWHERE EVEN IF I MAKE MISTAKES.  BUT SHE UNDERSTANDS ME.  HA…..THE PHILIPPINES IS AWSOME.

    2. Every hard-luck expat story I’ve ever heard starts with the phrase, “We’d been online dating for four months when…”.  When in the PH, it takes a real effort to ‘re-calibrate’ to the fact that having a young woman interested in you is not rare, but the norm here.  Most guys think they need to hold onto the first filipina who smiles at them once they get off the plane.  Time.. taking the time to get to know them, same as we would in our home country.

  3. Chica Minute….Gossip etc..part of Ph.Just stick what you feel like to do…Have had relation with married woman and lived together same house while she still married.Her husband living 1 house from us…But the main thing he was not Philipino,European guy.We had also good understanding…But can you belive the gossip man hehehe..Reaction fom relatives etc.But i did not care.I have good relation with neighbours etc,It is what it is…..

    1. I’ll check with my connections in Tijuana.. I’d prefer if it came with a matching cape.  No leotards though, that would be strange.

  4. Henry,
    First off, I would like to say that I immensely enjoy your videos and all the insight you provide to those of us that view your channel.  I am in agreement that you should definitely take your time and court the woman you are with and spend a significant amount of time with her.  That being in all different types of settings, how is she when we are alone?  How is she when we are around relatives and friends?  Have there been bouts of dishonesty, minor or major on both sides?  In your own assessment, are you feeling undue pressure for marriage or money?  Finally, do you REALLY love this person?  Not LUST but LOVE.  

    Speaking through the prism of a past marriage, if you cannot positively answer all these questions and be comfortable with the conclusions then you should not waste your time or her time and cordially end the relationship.  I myself married out of a feeling of “requirement or expectation” to marry when I was not fully committed or ready.  Even though I harbor no ill will toward my ex, I regret the years lost to this day.  Reputation is absolutely important but not to the detriment of one’s own sense of self worth.  Striking a balance between relationship and cultural differences can be challenging but in the end I think you will find yourself in a better place.  Conduct yourself with integrity and the reputation will take care of itself.

  5. Wow, you just arrived in Dumaguete just a short time ago and you’re already faced with this dilemma. Go for it Henry … hope she’s the one.  🙂

    1. Despite my best efforts with other women I’ve met, even I can’t always bring out in conversation the important issues that I need to know in order to make a decision about a relationship.  But with this woman I’ve met here in Dumaguete, she’s very much like myself and it’s amazing how much ground we’ve covered simply through time spent together and clear conversation.  She’s young, yet mature and communicates clearly.  I’m hoping for the best and taking it all day by day.

  6. Don’t get married Rico…..you don’t have to, just be confident in yourself that you can keep your reputation in the city and you will not have to worry about a thing. The women of the Philippines are the best in the world, and she will really love you, give you the affection and care that you need to live a long happy life. No kids though, maybe if she has one older kid, but changing diapers and dealing with a sick baby, No, once is enough Rico, no more of that stuff ok. Just enjoy your life…….

    1. No worries there.  If I do ever get married it will be after knowing her 6-9 months, in person.  I know many people roll the dice and get married after 4 months of ‘bliss’.. but to me that is just way too risky.  Too much at stake.  It’s better to see over a long period how they are on a daily basis, not just during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase.  Even a year of knowing each other is a consideration, just to be sure.  But I’m not into dragging out courtship over a 2+ year period.  At some point one has to pull the trigger and not waste the other person’s times and hopes.

  7. very good insight,thankyou..I met the girl we been talking and Skype for almost a year..but she is married..and I know it cant go anywhere…your videos have really helped.

  8. Look in your message inbox, I sent you a personal message, and it is not romantic in nature, but I have a question that I didn’t know if you would feel was too personal to ask in public so to speak, since others may have opinions about it that may be uncomfortable.

    1. Yeah my pc crashed as I was writing and I had written quite a bit, so I decided to do it later since I had to go out. Sorry about that. I will let you know when I rewrite it. These computers sometimes….jeeze. lol

    2. I looked but did not see it.  🙁   I don’t check the youtube inbox as often as I check my facebook.  Contact me via facebook by searching me at;  ‘Reekay’.

  9. I hope your current girlfriend comes from a family who won’t expect money from you if you settle down. I could see myself supporting a good woman and helping out her pre-adult kids, but beyond that, anyone on a modest income should be nervous.

    You know from your own videos how this issue could ultimately destroy your marriage and future happiness. It sounds so common a problem, I wonder if men specifically look for women who were raised as orphans. Good luck, enjoy the aesthetic of the moment and take heed of your own advice.

    1. It sounds like you’re on your way to an open, honest relationship with someone who can help you say no during awkward situations. I feel there would be more happy couples if there was less self- centeredness and more of a mind set to work at making compromises.

    2. She and I have talked about that.  Her family lives about 4 hours away.  I’ve told her that I will assist in supporting her parents, but not anyone else in her family.  She feels the same way as she is a very self-determined person who has learned to make her own income and expects others to do the same.  So, we’re both on the same page with that issue.  This and other issues is why it’s so important to take time knowing a person rather than moving into big commitments in a rush.

  10. And they will talk about you even more because you are an American and they are very happy to know you, and hope they can call you a friend. It seems to be a source of pride for pinoys, that is what I have experienced anyways. Great video and advice, Henry.

  11. good for you Henry, take your time and make a good, informed decision-most importantly enjoy the process! If it doesn’t work out, you can walk away with your head high knowing you were honorable and just… Lots of ladies out there-beautiful inside and out and it really only takes ONE to satisfy a real man…

  12. Your video’s have casused me to think more of doing something along the lines of what you do now from my own experience’s and interest. I am not looking to be a tag along to your video,s but would like to direct people to your site as a means of some very good information and personal perception. Would that be ok with you? peace.

    1. That’s fine with me.  Every person’s experience here is unique given all the factors of different islands, income levels, romantic interests, recreational interests.. be sure to let me know how our project comes along and I’ll link to it on my list of recommended channels.

  13. Very interesting and informative video Henry ( as always)- really makes
    you think. I call it the “Candy Store Syndrome”-whereas your like a kid in
    a Candy Store, just looking at the rows upon rows of candy, with all their
    colorful packaging. Sometimes you can’t decide on what candy U want??
    I think your right–in that you have to discipline your thoughts, as to your
    goal and your objective in being there, and not ruin it for yourself, and be
    on an emotional roller coaster. I was just on a dating site here in Canada,
    and big in the US as well, called POF ( Plenty Of Fish) and I’ll tell you that
    once you get over 45, it’s really tough to find a nice young, slim long term mate on
    there, and get decent replies. I’m now convinced going to the Phils or somewhere
    in Asia–is your only hope at a great second love. With that in mind, although
    it must be very tempting to screw around, your really wasting your time, as
    it’s only really short term pleasure. In my opinion, I think your totally right, and
    think your channeling your thoughts correctly–so good luck Henry-great vid.
      Don’t take these girls for granted- or it will backfire!!! ( Grant in Canada)

  14. Travelled to dumaguete briefly back in 2011 , abit of a quiet place for my liking Henry .. you sure you would be happy to settle there ?

    Congrats on finding a woman you can see eye to eye with , plenty of women maybe .. but not often that deeper connection .. that’s more rare & a real treasure , peace.

  15. You’re a West Coast guy. A metal band  called Ratt said it best.                               You’re struck by lightning
    You’re in love
    It’s not worth fighting
    You’re in love……….ENJOY IT !!!!!!!!!!!

  16. The best resources of the philippines is the women……. a lot of them have lots of BF’s. they keep the pipeline full and looking to upgrade if they can ,,,,,,,,,because it is a poor country….thy help bring money into the country on line or in person it’s all the same……so just saying this about the foreign men is not a clear pic of the truth. Your right when you say if you’re looking to get married you need to not rush into things……..Long story short the women can be just as bad as the men……….but thy will talk about the big spending foreigners that just want a good time for a few days…..when there gone the women are off on another…….. That said there are some series (With is there favorite word if you don’t spend money on them) one’s like in other places in the world……Men and women are the same no matter were in the world. I hope it works out for you.

  17. Every word is total fact. That is how it is. Even in Cebu they catch on very quickly. Manila maybe take some time as it is so big. But any where else they will know in a heart beat. Scary how fast the local gossip moves. Great video my friend.  

  18. HENRY i try to watch as much as i can to get ready to go there.  i wrote u before and u did ancer thanks.  so as i was saying i have been there before  and plan to go there to live.  i have been in touch with the same women for over three years.  and plan on staying with her and i know like u said there is alot of eye candy lol but i belive a person can just be wirh one woman and still be happy.  so here is what i would like to know more about is you said u have been there 2 years and i dont know much about the visa.  i have my passport and when i rap up thingsd here im going there but plan on staying up north  any where in the luzon.   im just not a fan of the south lol.   i know u went over this stuff but with so many videos to watch it gets confuseing.  so hope to learn more from u and the life there. thanks 

    1. thanks for the reply, you seem to have it all and living the dream.Myself i have been to the phil quite a few times now and living in Australia and married to a filipina.

  19. yes that’s true :),i’m from dumaguete,i live in rural area,gossip is normal in there.,but mostly women in our place are responsible,hardworking,and simple,so i would say,girls in rural area,is better than in cities.but still depends on personality,thanks,like all ur vids.

  20. The other issue with bouncing around is money, it is costly. Serial dating takes its tool emotionally too as you say. You get the copper, a little silver, but never the gold which is a woman’s real heartfel affections and companionship. In the end, that is what you will want…but you can’t wait too late to make it happen. We do run out of time.

    1. @Will Hart yes, each time i’ve relocated, i usually need to re-furnish my apartment and/or stay at a hotel until i find an apartment i like.

  21. Sir I really appreciate you videos . Can you tell me why the girls from website quickly want to switch to skype. Is that normal?
    Also I watched your video where you recommend waiting to be there before contacting anyone. Do you offer any in country guidance in person?

    1. another reason is that they hope, via webcam, to get you into disrobing with them.. then they extort you for money threatening to send the video/photos of you to your family/friends.

    2. one reason is because the dating sites will ban their account if they ask for money there. so they do that on skype. if it seems like you will report them, they will first block you on the dating site so you can’t report them.

  22. Another great one. I personally couldn’t do the girl hoping thing, it’s just not me. I am at that point in life that I only want to be with my Ne, She is the one. My song for her is Only You. I can’t say I never look, I am not blind but then my look but, don’t touch policy kicks in. lol.

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