The ‘Paper-Married’ Filipina – Dating in the Philippines

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118 comments

    1. @Steve E Sure Steve, there are lots of married Filipina to have sex with if that’s what you’re into.  Trouble is if you get arrested, it gets expensive to “get around the law”.  Chances are the husband won’t take kindly to someone sleeping with his wife.   

  1. Henry – thanks for your videos as always.  Very informative, as usual.  You mentioned your blog in this video and I was wondering about the status of your writings on your main website.  I’ve not seen an new articles since Feb.  Are you posting somewhere else now?  Other than comments that you post on your youtube videos and your main site forum, I’ve not found any other works from you.  Can you direct me to where you are currently putting your thoughts in writing?  Many thanks –

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Thanks Henry.  Wanted to clear up a little confusion on the comment board.  It appears you have 2 Jim Nichols posting comments here.  We are 2 different people and I don’t believe either of us is trying post on behalf of the other or commit any kind of identity theft.  Speaking for myself, I assure you that’s my name.  To help clarify who’s who, one of us (me) has his name spelled w/ a capital “J” and capital “N”.  The other one (Jim 2.0) has his name shown in all lower case.  It’s a subtle distinction but hopefully that will help you in telling us apart.  Sorry for any confusion this may have caused. 

    2. I’ve been lagging so bad on my writing.  Lately I’ve been bouncing around so much that the only way to ‘keep up’ has been through video.  But I do plan on getting back into writing now that I’ve kinda ‘settled down’ (for the moment) here in Dumaguete.  If you are on the email list at http://www.LifeBeyondTheSea.com it should alert you when I write a new article via email.  🙂

  2. Judicial Recognition of Foreign Divorce
    There is no divorce in the Philippines, but when a divorce is validly obtained abroad by an alien spouse from his or her Filipino spouse, “the Filipino spouse shall have the capacity to remarry under Philippine law.” However, the divorce obtained abroad must be passed upon judicially by a Philippine court to prove its validity before the Filipino spouse can remarry under Philippine law.

    1. Yes, this is true.  About 7 years ago the Family Law Act was changed so as to recognize divorces between a Filipina and Foreigner, if obtained in the foreigner’s home country.  The big problem here is when the Filipina is married to a Filipino.  🙁

  3. best way to see if a filipina is single and available is when you see a flower behind her ear, left ear she is taken, right ear she is single and looking!

  4. It is not really accurate to say that there is absolutely no divorce in the Philippines. Under Presidential Decree No. 1083, also known as the “Code of Muslim Personal Laws of the Philippines,” divorce is allowed in certain instances, but this law applies only when both parties are Muslims, or wherein only the male party is a Muslim and the marriage is solemnized in accordance with Muslim law in any part of the Philippines. For the rest of Filipinos, therefore, divorce is not available
     

    1. This is true.  Although, as you said, it only applies to women in a Muslim marriage.  If she got her divorce, she is free to remarry.

  5.  Yes it sucks you can not get divorce in the Philippines. Even if you are rich and powerful like Kris Aquino. It took her 2-3 years to get an annulment.

  6. best way to handle it stay 10,00000 miles away from a married filipina .i seen a friend have heart break on him and his love intreast its so sad romeo and juliet case and yor right henry.i think they should really educate there young men and women what could happen . i feel bad for both parties

  7. Henry, let me first start out and say Thank you, I’ve been a long time viewer of your videos and enjoy each one of them.. I only wish you would have made this one a year earlier.  I’ve been going back and forth to the Philippines for over a year, I met my girl friend online and after meeting her i proposed.  Well she’s married,  I’ve tried to get her back to America six times now.  Each time we goto immigration (US Embassy) in Manila we continue to get turned down, each time you meet with the embassy for your interview it’s $160 paid in cash before you met them. I’ve spent thousands of dollars trying to get my girl to the US. We flew to Taiwan thinking it would be a better chance but the same results occur. Seems lots of people have their hands out to say they can help you.. but the person with the last word is the the US Embassy.  I’ve not given up hope but this process is very expensive.. “Know what your getting into before you go down this road”.  Filipino woman can get a divorce here in the states and get married, however please check into the US laws as well, it sounds simple but believe me it’s not.   

    1. +thejmack24 .. With all the expenses incurred including the travels, don’t you think the annulment procedure would have eventually made more sense? Just a thought.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Correct ! . A youung Filipina cousin of my best Filipina friend who I just attended her wedding in May 2019 has several fb accounts 😲😱 yet some of her family wanted me to date her Lmao😂😂😂😂😂. Already gone through a terrible break up with my ex fiancee in Cebu in 2014. So I quietly did my research and lord have mercy found out she has young Filipino BF and was running several fb accounts and gave me a fb account without Filipino bf pictures. I absolutely dont trust women out there and the money culture dependency is just over bearing and nauseating. I only have plans to retire there in 3 years hopefully and leave this Brexit UK godamn country. I probably wont get in any serious relationship there its just not worth the trouble at all.

    2. @jim nichols This is true.  If I had to guess.. I’d say that of Filipinas under the age of 30.. about 60% of them have more than one Facebook account.  That is normal in a way.. one for just family and friends. another for interacting with foreigners so their family isn’t eavesdropping.  (Gossip is big here.)  But when they have 3 or more accounts.. that’s a scammer, almost guaranteed.

  8. It’s good that your are addressing the paperwork side of dating or marrying a philippina. Did you find out the hardway about this situation? I think we are all hoping that Robin is  not paper married ! ///

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Good for you ,its better to ease into it and be sure the girl is single,i know of several whom have had big issues with there g/f having been married in the past.Its kind of a shame that its not easier for the girls to move on with their life.

    2. Because of my website and channel, I get messages from expats and filipinas in the hundreds.  The paper-marriage issue comes up all the time, sadly.  I ran into it myself but knew about it when I first came to the PH two years ago.  Despite my best efforts, there is no simple way to deal with it.  With my current g/f (April) we had a long discussion regarding her single status.  Even so I’m not going to just rush in to any big commitments.

  9. Thanks Henry!  In all the time that I’ve had an interest in the PH, your the first person that has mentioned CENOMAR. Great info that I didn’t know about … I’m adding CENOMAR to my favorites folder and speed dial right now!

    1. Do remember also that it can be certified and sent international…however it does cost some more money…but it is a possibility. Also I heard family can pick it up, not tried that one though.

    1. If you are a foreigner to the PH, married to a Filipina.. then, yes, you can divorce her in your home country and it will be a valid divorce for both yourself and for her.  There are some challenges such as getting her personally served (process servers overseas can do this), getting a judgment by default if she does not show, etc.  But it can be done.

  10. There’s another way around the complications of this issue which they use over there. Both men and women, somehow, some way, are able to change their names on their official documents, after they have already been married  (and I don’t mean changing to the man’s last name), and therefore, when you check their cenomar, it shows – single. It takes a lot of bribing, getting the name(s) changed I guess, but it’s not uncommon.

  11. Our situation is a sticky one too.  We are a Gay (Lesbian) couple.  So we cannot get married in the Philippines.  Canadian Immigration won’t let her visit Canada (Visitors Visa – they think she will play hide and seek aka TNT) and Canada does not have a “Fiance Visa / K1″… but Marriage generally  “Trumps” the Immigration process to Canada… so we are stuck unless we fly to New Zealand (the only country in Asia/Pacific) that has Gay Marriage (if New Zealand will grant her a visa there).   Fun Fun Fun!!  … and no she has never been married in the Philippines 😉

    1. Canadian Immigration has terms of reference to follow set out by the parliament of Canada. Do now try and guess the laws in your case, find a immigration lawyer in Vancouver, in which there are many very good ones.
      Personal opinion is not encouraged if you work for the government We follow the British and we have a written rule for everything except breathing. GOOD LUCK and I wish you the best..

  12. Wow-what major headaches I can see getting involved with a married
    Filipina. I’d say you’d really have to be madly in love, so why bother to
    even start to fall in love?? It’s sounds like a long tough road here. I’m sure
    glad Henry ran this video, and educated me on this subject.
       Marriage, when you think about it, doesn’t really do any good for anyone,
    except maybe for “spiritual satisfaction.” It’s also good for governments here
    in Canada and the USA–as they want the ex husband to foot the bill for the
    kids he created. ( as he really should do)- otherwise the government is on
    the hook for the family.
        When you think about it–why get married ?? doesn’t do anybody any good,
    and certainly doesn’t guarantee a longer and more loving relationship. In fact
    it probably does just the opposite. With the divorce rate in North America being
    around 50 %– why bother getting married.( marriage licenses don’t keep
    people together–just love and commitment to each other does)
        There is only “one reason” why I can see a “woman” wanting to be married,
    and that’s to give her property rights, and rights to half the assets accumulated
    while in the marriage. If she’s going to bear your children, and raise them, I can
    see her wanting some security like this. Also if a foreign man wanted to bring
    his Filipina woman to his homeland, then he’d have to get married, to allow her
    to enter his country– “as his wife.”
       What marriage will not do– is make your relationship any happier. If your not
    married, you can still live and love together, and do all the things a married couple
    can. Why even bother getting married??? It’s more psychological than anything. It’s
    just a piece of paper from some government beaurocracy.
      Moral of the story here– find a “single unmarried Filipina” and save lot’s of grief !!!

  13. Greetings expats! I will disagree with Brother Henry slightly for this segment. There is NO such thing as being “paper-married” in the PH. That’s like the Pinay you met who told you she was a “paper-virgin” and “paper knocked-up.” In the PH, it matters NOT how long ago she married slime-ball OR how long ago he left her and they’ve been separated. She’s MARRIED! The ex-slimeball can blackmail you using PH law and actually have you arrested and jailed! Do NOT be “playing” with married women in the PH, guys.

    There are many, many Pinays who are smart enough to have never married slimeballs, have no kids (not the “package”) AND are responsible and mature. Hang with those ladies. Think with the big head guys!

    Occasionally I get a question along the lines of, “Well, how do I know if she’s married?” LOL! My answer is always the same: “You’re not smart enough to go the the PH and you’re just gonna get yourself in serious legal trouble and be expelled IF they don’t “‘lose”‘ you in jail! Please do NOT go to the PH.” It’s very important to do your homework BEFORE you go to paradise. Your freedom and even your life depend on it! God Bless, guys.

  14. during my wedding ceremony in santa rosa,the priest looked square into my eyes and said,”do you understand,there is no divorce in the philippines?” i knew it and i never said anything,i just knodded my head yes.after all,i did not go half way around the world to get a divorce…good thing..my wife would not be happy and i would be sleeping w/one eye open….because the closed eye would have been closed by her clenched fist 😉

  15. My husband and I went through annulment just to be together.  I used to be one of these women who are stuck and a second shot at happiness is not legally possible and also, I had other plans..waiting for my immigrant visa to the US as a nurse and join my siblings there. We met online.  He was looking for a wife and I, for a letter writer passing time as I just came back home from UK where I work and studied for 3 years. We both took huge risks and change our course. Not having met in person, he sent me money for annulment.  I, trusted him never to leave me in the middle of it all and screw my case. He came and met me 9 months after and came back again 6 months after his first visit… Annulment, was a long,costly and stressful process. It felt like it was never going to end!  But we really buckled up and held on.  We got the annulment 8 months after. Got married 3 months after that and are now just waiting to get my passport back with visa to Canada:) 

  16. Henry, more priceless information. Before you have sex in a *** OVERNIGHT THANG*** read the P law in general and the  fine print.Check with a lawyer first, also and have he or she give you the married woman dangers Then if it is ok, Rent the room. It is about the same as buying car. Check who she is registered too.
    Your mileage may differ, but I do not think so.

  17. Have her give you a copy of her Cenomar. If you are going to take her to the U.S.you have to have one when you petition for her K-1 Fiance Visa or If you are going to marry her ( in the Philippines ) then petition for a  CR-1 Spouse Visa after you marry her. Good Luck 🙂

  18. these laws are there because of the Catholic church.
    I am pretty sure since with a Philippine pass port they can go to another country that allows divorce they can go there get a divorce and then get a certificate of no marriage.
    Being Divorce i have to also get one and it can be done at the consulate n Cebu
    Most woman get a attorney to get papers signed by both there ex and them they say they are married but wish to live separate.
    There is no divorce allowed there it is that simple and yeah the woman get screwed with that , hard to get child support to so they are really screwed over, but being a dominate man myself i understand this. Most of the really crazy laws are there because of the Catholic church.
    accept marriage money kind of talks when i lived there I saw very rich Murder and get a life sentence but that sentence was basically a very large fence was placed around there house and they even pay the guard the guards them.

  19. Unfortunately some filipina just aren’t honest about being married.  Most guys probably wouldn’t consider getting a background check done on someone they are dating, but it could turn up some very valuable information that could prevent a serious mistake. 

    Recently I had reason to be suspicious that my estranged wife was still married in the Philippines.  I used wymoo.com to do an investigation for me – they were very good and reasonably priced.  They tracked down my wife’s 1st husband and talked to him.  It turns out he was pissed that his wife married someone else but didn’t know what to do about it.  I tried using a local detective also, but they were just a waste of time and money – there are some cowboys in the PI game. 

    My wife has gone back to the Philippines a few times and managed to avoid getting arrested for bigamy, but this is only because her 1’st husband doesn’t know how to take advantage of the situation.  She could be in prison otherwise.  Definitely if we were to go to the Philippines together (which we never did), I could be imprisoned for adultery. 

    1. @Guido DeMaio We got married in Australia while she was staying on a fiancé visa.  There was no process of checking for prior marriages in the Philippines.

    2. @b1ueshift i’ve always taught my kids, “desperate people do desperate things”.  ‘some’ women will hide their kids even a few years after marriage, or move out of the PH without telling their new, expat husband she ever had kids.  (who are usually living with relatives in another city/island)  some will then reveal the kids later when they want new citizenship for them.  others will simply leave them behind.  i met one filipina whose mother abandoned her and her five sisters just after she was born.  ‘some’ women (and men) are very heartless in this world.

  20. so you are saying that i should spend 1 year with a lady with no sexual contact and not live in the same house before i am thinking of anything seriouse with a woman in philipines? beouse if i have sex with a girl in philipins and she is paper married i can end up in jail?

    1. Might be better if i look for girls that are young and have no children yet. I am 42. But enyway thank you for your videos and that you take the time to answer me as best as you can 🙂 if i go to the philipines and are in your path i bay you a beer or what ever you prefer. Have a great day 🙂

    2. @Kristian Martinsen that may be true, depending on what areas being compared.  but i’ve been
      able to date 2 years here and only had to deal with that issue twice
      out of.. well, many encounters.

    3. Well i think as you talked about if i have 2 or 3 ladyes as a friend with benefit.you saying i should investigate if they are married before i go to the stage of having sex. If i dont want to put myself in danger. Sounds to me like i better off not visiting the philipines. Sounds like they are way more desperate then the girls here in thailand.

    4. @Kristian Martinsen no.  whether you have sex with her or not is your choice.  what i am saying is that IF you decide to have sex with a paper-married filipina, these are the legal dangers you put yourself in.  so.. make an informed decision whether you will take those chances or not.

  21. I follow your videos, great job as well Ned. You should post this video somehow as a warning for these dating sites about annulments etc in PH and as well guys need to ask pinay that question directly. If a pinay states she was never married, be sure even if she is 20, if she has been pregnant or had children. Do not ask a pinay if she is a virgin, that is sexually offensive to many on line especially. Often the children are omitted until the foreigner is in love with her/hooked. Also there are pinay there who had no prenatal healthcare and they have a child with birth defects, kept in a room someplace possibly with mental retardation. I have run into this before, many of the DFW pinay are supporting children in the PH, these women seem to be more open and liberal, however now you are dealing with 2 countries laws, and yes pinay often dump their kids with relatives to get a way out for a better life. These videos show close family ties etc, however there are many families who are not close, sibling rivalry comes into play at times in which pinay got the foreigner and a better life. One more thing, if there are kids involved from her past husband/ bana, then before that kid can come to the US, the father has to be notified and agrees, part of the reason it takes so long for her kids to migrate after she is married in the US. A pinoy/husband who deserted her may have many other kids and women, but then when he is notified you want his kid to migrate that he has not seen in years, then comes his payoff fee. PH lawyers can drag the annulment costs and time out for years, just because you are an American.

  22. Annulments are not easy, but not impossible. Though they are expensive and take time, not only the Philippine Government has to approve it, but the Catholic Church as well.
    Here is an option I have never heard discussed. What exactly is preventing a Filipina from going to Guam and get a divorce in the American courts there? I know it costs money (they have divorce tourism there, so you can go there for a week vacation and get a divorce at the same time), but the divorce, even if not recognized by the Philippine authorities, it should be recognized by the American embassy for K-1 visa purposes. Has anyone tried that?

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines
      Oh ok. I was talking the name of the website you mentioned in the video above. You said the name but need to spelling of it was all.

  23. You failed to mention that dating a “paper married” filipina makes you and the filipina subject to arrest and prison….should the filipino husband decide to press the issue.  Under Philippine law – dating a paper married filipina is illegal for both the filipina and the new boyfriend.  See the youtube video – Locked Up Abroad – Philippines…

  24. I heard that the govt. is taking a second look at this matter. Pope Francis has taken a more open view on marriage and divorce, remember this is from Cannon  Law in origin

    1. @barry graham if the filipino people would DEMAND it from their govt or hold back their vote for a candidate who favors divorce laws.. that would have more impact than the vatican giving approval. politicians only get motivated when their electoral seat is threatened.

  25. Also I forgot to say back in my Navy days guy’s would want to marry a girl, only to find out for Navy Legal dept she is married already thus the Navy would  reject the request, Yes, everyone back when we had a Base in the PI you had to put in a request to marry.

    1. @barry graham in the PH, there is a cert called the CENOMAR. it states that a filipina has no record of marriage on file. it is required now before marriage certificate can be granted. can also be requested if you have the required info on the filipina who says she is ‘single’.

  26. Why ALLOW the government into your relationship at all ??????  The only one that benefits from a “marriage license” is the GOVERNMENT.  It is a PROFIT CENTER for them when U get hitched and a bigger payday for the government when U get a divorce or probate when a person dies. Historically speaking the modern day paper called a “marriage license” is fairly new.  The government teamed up the the church to say U are “sinning” if U do not pay the government (and then pay the church 10%),,,,,,lol………….also if U don’t pay these gangsters (the government) if U have children….then the children are not entitled to certain things  and the church will call them bastards.  What a crock a MAJOR bullshit.  The bottom line is YOU govern your relationship and life and NOT the  government……unless U allow them to.

  27. Hello! HELLO! You forgot to mentioned that way-over 60%-70% of Filipinos do cheat on their Filipinas wives, anyway! But Yes, coz’ we’re foreigners we still have to watch-out for extortionists & opportunistic ones for sure!

    1. +Wave Dancer i agree. it’s sad the amount of misery this archaic, myopic mindset causes to so many people. but only the filipino people can pressure their legislature to change it.

    1. not much has changed. still no divorce in the PH. annulments still costly and time-consuming. adultery still a chargeable offense. bottom-line, a man should know what he’s getting into before beginning a relationship with a paper-married woman.

  28. How about a situation where a foreigner married a Filipina in the Philippines brought her to the United States it didn’t work out they got a divorce in the United States, then the guy meets another Filipina and she wants to marry in the Philippines because she wants her family to see it can the guy remarry in the Philippines or does he still need to get a annulment in the Philippines to his previous wife even if he already divorced her in the UNITED STAES, HOW WOULD THIS WORK?

    1. LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines okay, but do I need to file an annulment in the Philippines with that divorce paper from my country or can I just get my legal capacity to marry at the US embassy. What I’m saying is do I need to get the annument in Philippines or the divorce decree from my country is it all I need to marry another Filipina

    2. it’s part of the process. you need that divorce from your country. either an original judgment or certified copy of judgment of dissolution.

    3. LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines but if I divorce in America then go to the Philippines and preseant it to us embassy for the legal capacity approval will they actually check with manila to see if I’m married to Simone else in the Philippines?

  29. That’s exactly my case. My “paper married” scammer from Gen San told me she was still married when we were 1.5 years through our relationship (met in Las Vegas and she lived in my house for almost a year)…. Wish I could expose her name.

    1. James Connelly , be careful… you can be arrested for adultery … or blackmailed by her husband….. or in worst case- murdered….it happens a lot to foreigners there…….think hard before you do this…..

    2. better look for a never married fiipina …. you will waste huge time huge energy and huge money with no guarantee at all of success … you can be severely trapped and in many cases you will end broke and at the end the system might just not let you getting married …..

  30. As a Roman Catholic I am so angry at the Church working with the State to make women suffer for the sins of the men.
    Money for annulments…Church and State split the cash.

  31. Hi .. thanks for this very useful information … Can you tell me where can I check my gril friend is really single or married … As I am getting married to fiinapno girl this MTH …

  32. Yes bud, but at instruction of her friend in States there seems to be a route whereby she get new name and cenomar on that, we will see how that works……progressing.

    In meantime, her ex knows about us, but at request of family he not doing anything about, and besides he has gone for new gf’s too.

    1. definitely hire an attorney to draw that up. do not do a handwritten lease with the owner, get an attorney you can communicate well with.

  33. What’s the point of marriage anyway? Marriage is just a title. It’s an outdated construct that is still in practice today glorified by novels and Disney movies which in reality, invented to integrate the church and government into your relationship for control. The most important thing is whether you love each other, enjoy each other’s company and always try to make things work. That is more important than a piece of paper with yours and your significant other’s name on it. A number of studies even show that non-married couples are happier than married ones. This is especially true for men in the west.

  34. Thank you I will have dodged another bullet in the Philippines I am 65 and want to come there for a few months but can not risk jail or long court case. So looking again .

  35. So stupid how in the Philippines there is a damaging and ruinous law that makes divorce impossible. All it does is create destruction to a persons life, especially when true love is involved with the right guy and the woman usually is unable to move on with a fresh start. My ex-Filipina had the same thing happen to her. Her husband was a real loser who slept around with other women (very common with Filipino men I hear). But she got eventually got divorced here in the USA somehow, but not after being ripped off by a crooked attorney first.

  36. that is true! always check the filipina’s status background.. but my husband never checked my status background coz he trust me that i am really single. Then when we applied for marriage licensed and he saw my cenomar-Never been married.. Now, I am happily married to my one and only esposo palangga Gil ❤️❤️❤️

    1. True enough.

      If she’s serious about a relationship with a foreigner, she will give up the information so boyfriend can apply for the CENOMAR online; or she’ll get it herself in person at her local PSA. The CENOMAR is a requirement for marriage there in the Philippines, by the way.

      If she balks at giving up her information, then guy needs to drop her like a bad habit.

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