Privacy & The Single Life in the Philippines; Part 3 of 3

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54 comments

  1. The whole issue of “ecology”, when it comes to dating around, is very important. Given that the Philippines is a “chika-chika” culture, it’s apparent that you have to go way beyond what you would normally do in the USA, for example, to maintain your privacy (and keep the nosy types at bay).

    Heh, I was also wondering about keeping your sex life private if you end up dating a “screamer”!

  2. Well, on that note.. all I can say is that if you rent the budget nipa-hut at the Scuba Resort over at Alona Beach.. eh, yah.. that bamboo does not insulate well. hehehe

  3. I went to a bar for a beer one day and after a fw beers I started speaking to the bar tender and he tells me oh you just got married! What? Heap he knew and had already see the videos of the wedding. Crazy.. didn’t bother me I kind of thought it was funny. Turns out his mother was friends with my wife ..:-) no free beer though.

  4. Well, not with just the PH.. but life in general wherever I am.. I try to look at thinks as they ‘are’. I’m a realist. I believe the best way to handle something is to first identify it clearly. Philippines, U.S., anywhere.. there are great thing and some dangerous things about any place. I just try to save some guys a bit of hassle or heartache be giving a heads-up. 🙂

  5. Yah, I can understand their motives and I don’t fault them. They just want a better life for themselves and their aging parents. Meanwhile we have to work extra to keep them at arm’s length until we’re ready to commit to an actual relationship. And there is where the chase begins. 🙂

  6. I can’t say being in the jungle is for everybody. Me, I have so much on my mind and stuff to do online that I never get bored. If the power goes out, I get in the hammock and read. Some people would go totally stir crazy out in the province. But for me, it’s been a really beneficial move to keep my privacy. Nobody here ever just “shows up” now. ha!

  7. I can’t live the hermit life. I just have a better time if I share the experience. Glad it works for you. You make excellent points that are great advice.

  8. haha! The hermit life has it’s advantages, and disadvantages. Right now it’s a soothing rain outside, front door is open, yard gate is locked and I’m having a kick-back day after returning from the beach yesterday at Alona. If I want the City, I’ll visit for a bit. Last night I stopped in town to see the new Superman movie. 🙂

  9. I blocked that Phen-idiot. He’s obviously got issues with everybody. I got no time for hate-filled losers like that. Sorry he bothered you.

  10. OH I try to pick friends wisely and i am not so crazy about going to bar and seeing how many can i lay. Nothing bad about that either I just like meeting the in other ways. There is also nothing wrong with being alone I just prefer company most of the time. It doesn’t need to be a woman just a friend/buddies is just fine. Chat, laugh, discussions. You do give good advice about staying aware and not giving out to much info.

  11. One thing is true.. living a conservative life (anywhere) is it’s own reward. The more adventurous a person gets, the more risk there is of some high drama. ha!

  12. Hi…I just watch your video now…I can’t understand you. ..did you married a filipina??? How long you’ve been in there in Phillipines?? Am a filipina too…working here in Atlanta. ..

  13. No, I am not married. I moved to the Philippines last year, in 2012. So for me, privacy is very important. As it is people wonder why I live alone, as if it were not ‘normal’. In the USA, many people live alone when single, it is very common.

  14. I’ve never had or wanted a live-in maid. I don’t plan to ever have one. I only hire a 2-hour maid who comes in, works and leaves. My first maid kept ruining my shirts despite my instructions so I let her go. My second maid ripped me off (butI got my money back) in a motorcycle deal. After that I hired a close friend (Filipina) to do work around the house and that worked very well while I was in Mactan.

  15. Now that I’m on Bohol, I do it myself. I did a one-time hire for a local girl who had no food, so I paid her to rake some leaves and do laundry. But especially in the province it’s a risk to have a girl in your house.. too much chance they try to extort you for a rape that never happened. It’s sad but, helping someone here often ends up making you the victim.

  16. Yah, having a female friend you can trust to do the cleaning has worked better for me so far. I’ll even make lunch in addition to pay. The big issue is Trust. That’s hard to come by sometimes.

  17. How about the girls that keep showing up at my wife’s fathers house. They say that my wife’s cousin got them pregnant. This usually happens when the cousin disappears for a month or so. Or their maid who gets pregnant. Rumoured that a boy sneaks in the window at night. So they had to fire her. The stories from my wife’s relatives never stop.

  18. It’s not like the States, most single girls you run into here do not have their own apartment.. far from it. Usually they are either living with parents or with a roommate at a boarding house so.. zero chance of privacy. Check out HotelSOGO(dot)com.. they are all over the PH and you can get good ‘quickie’ rates there for about $10, with a clean, nice room.

  19. If it were me, and that came to my doorstep, my response would be, “Well.. that’s interesting but, it’s not my problem. Good luck with that.” and move on. Don’t engage, don’t get involved, don’t problem-solve. Just make it clear they are talking to the wrong person, they need to go resolve their issue with the people directly.

  20. with all d negatives u hav learned there n yet u still live there; I’m guessing u may not be there for long or am i wrong?  do u have regular friends u hangout with there? may i ask if u r running away from something or u just havent found what u r looking for in life?

    1. @***** That’s more than enough as long as you’re not living in Manila…  Live on one of the southern islands or regions…  Anything under $1800 a month guaranteed is more than plenty…  I plan on moving there because I have a $800 pension and Social Security around $1800 PLUS my 401K…so anything above $1800 a month will make you live like a king when you’re there…

    2. I love it in the Philippines and it is my new, permanent home.  I have friends, both Filipino and Expats, on my island and surrounding islands.  Not running away from anything, I simply love life better in the PH.

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Day-biting mosquitoes are usually Aedes aegypti or Aedes albopictus. They carry one of five dengue virus serotypes and also Chikungunya fever. I’ve had it before. It’s awful enough that I recommend repellant if you can tolerate it and using Abate larvicide where there is standing water and spraying Baygon where you see mosquitoes flying around. I’ve been in SE Asia for 11 years. Nice videos, by the way. I like how you are relaxed and take things easy. I’m getting burned out here but would like to see the Philippines. I think $100 a month is a lot for a village house per month. Where I live, a house in the village is $300 to $500 per year. 

    1. Not letting them know where I live short-circuits some of the weirdness.  Lately I’ve only been meeting women who I’ve taken time to know, who have jobs in town and that minimizes the drama as well.

  21. Excellent advice. Another thing they do is the moment they meet you — whether online or in real life — is ask where you live. They will keep asking until you finally give out your home address down to the number. I never do it as they will show up at your house at any time of day or night. So, you don’t have to bring the girl home. Just giving her the name of your village is enough to get followed or spied on or have your door knocked on. Plus, it gives us a bad reputation as people in southeast  Asia are very conservative when it comes to pre-marital relationships. 

  22. Regarding security of your home, I once corresponded with an ex-pat who strongly advised hiring a security firm to care for your home and paying them on time.  He advised getting a housekeeper/cook (of an older age to avoid misunderstandings of their role) so that someone would be home when you are out.  Of course, that also blows the confidentiality aspect you’ve covered, but it doesn’t strike me that you can maintain that forever.  One can probably keep personal business confidential, but not the physical aspects of your home.  This ex-pat also advised making an extra effort to know all officials, political and law enforcement.  More important who you know than what you know.  And of course these things, if really needed, increase you cost of living.  Comments?  Perhaps the subject of a couple of videos?

    1. @Gabe Gordon there is no ‘average’ here.. some guys only see one girl at a time, some guys go through one or two girls a day.  another guy i know lives with two at once.  it’s hard to pin down what’s ‘normal’ here.

  23. 1966 while in the Marines I met a girl who never ask  for anything, never paid a bar fine  and when the money was low she dug into her purse. Women are women all over the world but that doesn’t mean that their all the same and it goes the same for men. You get treated by the perception you pose.

  24. 30 in 6 months is super chic boy status lol, if they know you had even 3 in 6 months chic boy… and you don’t really want that reputation there either, things will start to get $$$$ in reguards to women after they hear the stories .

  25. I never had ANY of these problems and I can’t say that I lived a quiet life. Be it in the phils, thailand or whatever. I don’t owe any woman explanations or apologies if I set things straight in the beginning and this includes making clear that uninvited visits are not welcome and entertained. I don’t use some filthy hotels… I love your videos but this one comes across a bit paranoid. Cheers! 🙂

    1. @A Asavasopon as my mom would say, “better safe than sorry.” in the PH, it pays to keep your cards close to your chest and share as little as possible. word travels fast in the PH. it’s not like the west where we consider it courtesy to stay out of each other’s business. 🙂

  26. Love your vids. I see you spent time in my neck of the woods when you came home to Cali. I live in the Inland Empire and often spend time in Mo Val, Temecula, and Lake Elsinore, too. Your vids have made me want to visit the P.I. Lets keep in touch. Be safe and well.

  27. I still can laugh at the guys  who did  this and got something taken.
    Never happen to me cause I did not let people in my house.until i felt comfortable with them.
    I got into herbs and the real helot’s or healers, so I did meet many people and let them into my home and never had a problem.But I lived in a gated community in Moal Boal.
    But lived in and travel too other islands , told him not too leave his stuff on the beach as we swam.
    I saw the children run into the Jungle with his stuff.
    He was very mad, he had lived there a long time and had a boat and gated house in Tailsey so do not feel to sorry for him,he could pay for his stupidity,
    Had a bad boat too,hundreds of thousands USA for a boat like that.

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