Privacy & The Single Life in the Philippines; Part 1 of 3

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54 comments

  1. I have also been in the Philippines for just over a year now.
    I have never had a problem with privacy though.
    Btw, I originally read jungle life instead of single life for whatever reason.

  2. That’s good, I imagine some neighborhoods/barangays are more sensitive to foreigner’s privacy. Do you live in a subdivision or condo by any chance? City or rural/province? I’m wondering if those are a factor.

  3. Hey Henry,
    I think you are right. My wives family is in LOBOC and for a single guy she says this is the right thing to do. Information there does get passed along to everybody maybe thats because at one time most people didn’t have a phone. Security for you is paramount!

  4. I haven’t been to Thailand (yet) but I plan to next year for at least a month or two. But there are benefits to PH over Thailand, and it goes both ways. PH, people speak English. In Thailand, only English in the bigger cities. Get into the provinces and you gotta learn Thai. Food, I love Phad Thai.. but I also love lots of PH food. Not the stuff with blood in it, but I love the standards.. lumpia, pancit, singang, etc. I find all Asian women cute. In Thailand, you gotta do a cup check.

  5. I find the whole “Sir” thing very respectful. Doesn’t mind me a bit. The “my friend” thing kind gets under my skin, still getting used to that. But PH is a wonderful place, and so is Thailand and I plan to spend time in both even though PH is my chosen new home.

  6. But the franchises are KFC, Kenny Rogers Chicken, Pizza Hut, Shakey’s.. so you wouldn’t be eating there anyway if you’re into foreign food. I don’t expect everyone to like every PH food dish, but I just came from Alona Beach tonight.. I had bacon-wrapped chicken, rice and a fantastic pork chop for only 173 Pesos. That’s less the $4 and damn tasty. 🙂

  7. I’m not a ‘big city’ person and from what I’ve heard of Manila.. it’s not what the PH is all about. It’s more like a bigger version of downtown Los Angeles and I want none of that nonsense. But Mactan, Iloilo, Cebu and Bohol.. I love it and been having the time of my life. 🙂

  8. When you post here you’re speaking to everyone and I was certainly speaking to you. If you want a one on one conversation go to his web site. You have no shortage of opinions and I gave you one of mine. Being ex military you should under stand that.

  9. I was joking with my wife and told her that I found your videos and was laughing at your description of how this nosy, curious or what ever you want to call it cultural need to know thing worked in your view. She listened and then basically agreed with your analysis… Nice work…

  10. Interesting thoughts. I noticed that in Manila, with the people who go to the better schools, their mindset is a lot more like us Americans and there’s less of that crap to put up with.

  11. My guess is this.. in the province, there simply is not a lot going on. People there might not venture into town all week. Some don’t have television. So all that leaves for entertainment is (aside from making babies).. gossip/chisme. ‘Small Town Syndrome’. Watching for anything noteworthy.. gathering information so they are the ones with a story to pass along on a hot, boring day. Meanwhile, in the city, people got stuff to get done.

  12. I think you’ll find various areas of the PH more affordable. There’s a wider range of housing, from subdivisions to province and everything in between to fit into a budget. North of Cebu are some quieter areas, less expensive and calmer lifestyle with Cebu city only 20 minutes away.

  13. At my main site, LifeBeyondTheSea(dot)com .. there is a link to my Facebook and also an ASK HENRY page which sends me email. Drop me a line sometime.

  14. on the positive side, it’s a sense of community. everybody’s a friend, the friend of a friend, or a relative (maybe a distant one, but a relative nonetheless). ^_^

    and there will always be friendly support if you ever find yourself needing it. cheers!

  15. Yes, that’s true. And a few neighbors here have given me a ride into town before I got my scooter. There’s some positive to it. But questions about my personal, social life.. who I’m dating, seeing, etc.. I’m accustomed to only sharing that with personal friends, not people who don’t even know my name. Also, having a large network of ‘acquaintances’ can sort of backfire.. more people who come to you for money. So, some pros and cons to it.

  16. Just today I found out that people in my city have been passing on gossip about me to another island. Worst part is, none of it is even close to being true. They just fabricated stuff out of thin air. People here are just hooked on passing around gossip, and foreigners always seem to be watched more than most.

  17. In remote areas like the provinces people around tend to get to know every neighbors they met regardless of your nationality and such. But please never generalize people of the Philippines as bashers or whatever you may call us. Go out of that place, try living in cities and you will see the difference.No offense meant to you. Im just trying to show you the other side of the coin. Have a nice day!

  18. Haha, gossips. There were hundreds about me and my husband. As we rented two spaces in two different provinces at the same time and we were the only young foreigners living there (plus we had a cute blond child), people knew us in Northern Samar to Leyte. If I moved alone, they asked where’s my son by his NAME! And the gossips were so absurd, that these people could write pretty good books using their amazing fantasy. All the guys I was about to marry (because I was dancing one dance with a guy on a fiesta or a local mayor who was a family friend). At first it made me smile, but in the end I was just pissed and I started to ignore them. I never answered anything to their questions…

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Do you think that it starts out as a way for ‘one to look favorable as knowing a celeb’ and then others want to compete? – I can see stories growing from that point of view where one wants to make it look like they know you more personally than the other. You know they talk in your silence and it seems like that’s what they might be doing. And then when they see you and others are around, they have to show (to the others) that they know you so they mention something they have seen and in trying to ‘guess’ that the girl you are with when they saw you is your wife, they’ll jump to that conclusion – Do you think?

    2. Malicious minds. They don’t have the mind of a European or North American person. I know people gossip as well in north America but not to the extent of overly intruding into a person’s private life. That’s all. Gossip is a natural past time for them and some tend to believe in gossip as the gospel truth. It’s ridiculous.

    3. What is really bothersome, when a person like me is single, is that people you don’t even know are trading stories that they all claim to have seen you with your wife.. all different women and none of them married.  Then it gets passed on to some girl you’re actually interested in.  People don’t realize (or maybe they do and don’t care) how damaging false gossip is to other people’s lives.

  19. Glad you are covering the scamming.  I’ve been very lucky and never been robbed by any girl.  I’ve had friends who have.  I stay away from the young ones.  I’ve heard about those scams.

    1. Yes, some of these girls can be quite persistent with their drama.  Being too much in love can be disastrous to your head and money.  No I keep some distance and just say no.

    2. I mostly got scammed my first 4 months in the Philippines.  But I learned real quick as the money went out.  Now, I see them coming and short-circuit their nonsense.

    1. I ‘kinda-sorta’ blend in if I’m dressed really casual.  Sometimes people start speaking to me in Visayan.  But the second I speak, they know I’m “not from around here”.  ha!

  20. It is funny how people are so nosy aren’t they? It does get into your nerves sometimes. As if you’re a public figure that they want to know when you sleep, what you had to eat, when you went to the bathroom, what type of deodorant you’re wearing, etc etc. It’s not that it’s bad but you don’t even discuss these things with your real buddies. These people are people you don’t even know that well and you don’t have to tell them your whole life story. Give the man some privacy. LOL It almost feels like you’re being hounded by paparazzi and media people. I guess you’re a celebrity now Henry. You got the website, the interviews. Let’s face it, you have a lot of admirers and they want to be your friend.

    1. While interest from locals in expats is the norm here, in my case I’ve been stopped many times by both Pinoys and Expats who recognize me from my videos.  Everyone has always been nice and we usually have some good conversations.  I’ve just kinda expected that my ‘privacy’ in Dumaguete and even other islands is pretty much gone when in public.  But so far it hasn’t cause any problems at all.   🙂

  21. Dear @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines: I have much to discuss with you. I have seen all that you say to be 100% true. But I have learned much of what you have explained, at a time when it’s a little too late so I’m wondering if I should even take my trip for 40 days & nights starting this November 27 (arriving on the 29th in Manila). In a very short time I have managed to acquire a gf – lol! It as my intentions to have her as a friend so that I have association while in that country, but then I read where the culture are reared so that ‘any’ dating is considered a step towards marriage. I do care about her but I have (in only 2 months) managed to ‘have a gf’, ‘send money for a tattoo that I suggested’, ‘extra money that was for her to save being taken by her mother’ (no explanation other than they did not want her to have a tattoo – but why take her money after the fact?), ‘sent more money because her father won’t buy school supplies for her kids because she got the tattoo (but it was with my money – so why punish the kids?), ‘been robbed because the tattooist promised a rendering for my tattoo design and she gave him the money “without him giving the drawing to her’, ‘Been asked if her mother can visit hotel I’ll be staying at’, 

    So now I am watching and listening to you, and I was foregoing many things I had planned for myself, just to go to Asia! I have already purchased the non-refundable ticket and booked a ‘nice stay” at the Y2 Residence Hotel which will run me around $4g’s just to stay 40 days & nights. Plus, I plan on doing other things while there, like visiting ‘Boracay Island’ as a 3 day stay over with her and I want to stay at least 1 day & night at ‘Subic Bay’ for some adventures. I know that I can find a cheaper hotel to stay at, but my intentions are to take great pics to post to facebook and I want my trip to be a beautiful experience to remember the best of the Philippines – so staying at cheap places is not a part of achieving that.

    So I was supposed to buy my sisters car and finish my media room upgrade with the money I’ll be spending on this trip. I travel all the time (Last 4 years it was many places in Europe) so Asia would be my 5th continent. I really STILL want to do the trip but now you have me wondering if it’s all really worth it? My gf “knows” it’s virtually impossible for me to ever live there permanently (my income is based on US and would stop for not having a job or any income, should move outside of USA) and because she has 3 kids it’s just not going to happen for them to come here – and I don’t want that anyway because then I would be responsible for them. I can barely make this trip and I don’t make a lot of money for myself let alone anyone else (IF I WANTED THAT). This worries me (her knowing we can probably never be together but STILL wants me to come! – Sounds like they just want to get all they can out of me?

    The fact is, I went from ‘having a good friend’ to having a relationship before I even have stepped foot there. And I KNOW I will meet other woman while there, and that just worries me because I’m too nice – lol

    Tell me what you recommend for me at this point? I am 100% sure that she intends on having her sisters come around and they will want to go places with us and will be looking to me to pay for it. I can FEEL it. I don’t want to be looked upon as a celebrity IF I have to float the bills for everything just to enjoy my trip with others. If I have to do that then I would rather suck up the plane flight money (non-refundable ticket) and cut that as an only loss. 

    And to be honest I’m really pissed that she gave the money to that tattooist when he did not have the drawing to give her right away because he said he had it and when she went to get the tatttoo done, he said he left the drawing at his home. Common sense (since I was texting her while this was happening) would have been for her to ask me what to do, or just not given him the money without the drawing. And that thing with the mother taking the money and her making me feel bad because the father was not going to buy her kids school supplies because she got the tattoo against their will? – She never said her parents would punish her if she got a tattoo “and” she’s a grown woman at 36 years old so I’m really feeling used too much already. I Need your opinion please 😉

    1. @Rodolfo Dominguez 10 out of 10 bro. That is sad because it simply means that all (or just about more often than not!) Philippino’s are out to get money out of you or from you. I would never gamble with odds like that against me.

    2. I think you made a wise decision. I agree with Reekey’s advise..take the time to know the girl, and her motivations. If money is ever mentioned..I’d drop her like a hot potato! LOL!!!

    3. @Rodolfo Dominguez Awe man, thank you for the reply. I never did take that trip and I got my money back from the airlines because my sister had some new health issues so I used that as an excuse to get a refund on a ticket which I had luckily gotten insurance on because it was a non-refundable ticket. I never followed up here but it was all a scam. I had 9 other connections and found out they all do the same types of scams. If they had more ‘game’ then they would use different material and not the same ole: “My parents are going to lose their home in the province and can I help?” – type game. One of them I completely told her about the scams (so as to get HER to not try it), and she pulls similar scam even though I let her know about the scams! It’s totally not worth my even visiting there now because no matter how beautiful that place is there’s going to be one who tries something if not many trying some kind of scam. If I do go it will be a spur of moment thing and I won’t tell anyone from the Philippines that I am visiting. I wanted to have acquaintances, but they are all scammers if you ask me. Not worth the trip just to be hounded and begged on because they know I’m a tourist. Thanks for the heads up and the story – what’s too good to be true, often is! lol

  22. Exactly so true man, i even told my gf i bet there are no famous filipino spies in your country history ( as a joke )  coz no one there can keep there mouth shut, everyone gossips kissmiss or whatever they call it lol, and sometimes they will make up parts to fill in the blanks, this is enjoyable to them a cheap form of entertainment , 

  23. I think by now that you have figured out the Filipina people are so intertwined realationshipwise, that you will  never ever be able to go on a date anywhere in the PHI, without word getting back to your GF or a cousin of your GF, who will then tell your GF that so and so saw you and, XXX, walking into a bar or  a dance hall at 10:30PM on such and such a date. Then your GF will be texting you or calling you and hounding you for some kind of answer about that very event.You may not even know the person who is reporting back to your GF or your EX GF, but believe me it will happen so fast, you will be getting text messages from her ,before you know it! The answer? Don’t cheat, don’t look, and don’t CHEAT!  NUFF SAID!

  24. Hilarious , I called it the bamboo net work and it is a form of gossip but it seems just what they do,freaked me out sometimes, I could be in a town I never been and someone i did not know would know my name or one of the nick names they gave me.
    .

  25. is seem like they so despert to find an american man or foriener . they go as far as pay the doctor to say they virgin just to have that interest in them . which is so sad. and if you have a chance to interview them . the main subject is about how they can be good wife to american man or forainer .

  26. Hilarious, but yes it might be a International third world gossiping thing.. As a result of the monotony of their daily lives .
    I used to visit Dubai and the surrounding areas years ago.
    I’ll never forget there was a security guard who had not seen me for 5 years.. and when he saw me at my hotel he remember my name, where I was from and everything.. So I think it adds some excitement to their lives that is full of monotony.

  27. sir, what seems to be your prob? it’s PH and you’re here. why you always talk about your US? Are you writing a Book about PH? Or is it a precautionary measures to aliens like you?? lol

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