Preparing for Life in the Philippines; Part 2 of 3

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  1. Hi Henry,

    I remember seeing an episode of China Beach that had a sub-plot about Filipino ladyboy performers: /title/tt0540586/

  2. Thanks for the Info…I have noticed it as well…I think South East Asia is very ahead of rest of the world in accepting people from different background and sexual orientations….

    Philippines was voted as the most gay friendly country in Asia and the world recently, it was in top 10 list.

  3. About a month before I moved from Mactan, I noticed a sign in town put up by the chamber of commerce (I’m guessing).. and it read something like; “Lapu Lapu – A Diverse and Open Community!” Lapu Lapu is not that big. The Ladyboys I’ve met tell me they feel more accepted in the big cities. I’m guessing because the smaller towns are more conservative (lots of church-folk). Whereas in the big-city.. you can do what you want without much social judging from neighbors. Just a theory.

  4. Henry I grew up with ladyboy (bakla in Tagalog) classmates and friends and just about everyone there has a relative/s or a friend/s that is a ladyboy. Just because you have a ladyboy friend does not mean you’re one or you’ re his boyfriend, Filipinos don’ t think that way. Seriously bro it is not a big deal once you get use to the culture, they’re part of it.

  5. Yah, I’m getting used to it. It’s just that with some you have to kinda set boundaries or the assumption is that you’re looking for a relationship. But that happens with real-girl Filipinas too so, ‘par for the course’ as they say. As I mentioned, the ones I’ve met have been nice people with exception to a few.

  6. Every day I keep hoping for a Conservative party, probably never happen. Libertarian just might be the way to go. ha! Reps have dropped the ball big-time imho.

  7. Ricky, I like your attitude about it all. I also don’t agree with their lifestyle, but believe they have the right to make those decisions, as long as they don’t try to impose it on others. I am a Christian & consider myself a Libertarian. Anyone should be able to do as they like, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else. I’ve been around gay guys b4 & they don’t bother me. If they hit on me I just politely tell them no & its cool. I don’t think its an issue, but thanks for the heads-up.

  8. Glad to hear it. One thing I forgot to mention is that being seen at the mall having conversation, as a foreigner, with a ladyboy or gays doesn’t do much for your street-cred with the ladies. As it is, even being seen talking to any girl and the others figure you’re a ‘playboy’/’cheater’. But being seen with ladyboys and they just assume one of them is a lover. Oh well, good thing there are plenty of Filipinas here. 🙂

  9. I’ve seen some of the Youtube videos on them in Thailand. From what I’ve seen, Thailand seems to really, really be into it. And the ladyboys are much more convincing. Here, ballpark I’d say only 5% keep you guessing for more than ten minutes. Most of them here in PH seem kinda obvious. But I have been fooled more than once here checking out what I ‘thought’ was a hot Filipina on the dance-floor. ha! Just gotta stay alert for details. 🙂

  10. ha!.. I’ve even met some intelligent democrats so I guess anything is possible. I follow the logic and reasoning, not a party line. Personally, I’m disgusted with the state of the RINO Rebublican party.. have been for some time now. But I do believe in Freedom. Not everyone is, should be or even can be a Christian, Mormon, JW, or Catholic. I believe people should have freedom to make their own decisions, so long as it doesn’t affect my freedoms. Live and let live.

  11. Well, you’d be a big hit here. Lots of gays in the PH, especially in the bigger cities. Smaller towns, not so much due to the more conservative, Catholic influences in smaller communities. But Cebu, even Mactan.. it’s fairly liberal there. Manila is far too congested for my liking.. might as well live near skid-row in L.A. But Cebu.. it’s a nice sized city.

  12. Yeah, I can see that from reading a lot of your articles on your main site that mention the “bamboo telegraph” effect. I’ve lived in small towns in the US that have a little of that, but you can still mostly have privacy. I definitely wouldn’t want any misunderstanding like that though..LOL. I don’t have any interest in hanging out w/them, but I don’t believe in being rude or mean to people either. Its just their own business how they live, y’know?

  13. Not that it would be really good to be known as a playboy/cheater either… I see the problem… That’s a downside, isn’t it. Oh well. I suppose its just something to figure out when the time comes how to handle.
    The thing is… I’m really a nice guy that wants to settle down w/the right lady one day, but not move to fast. Play the field a little, but not be a jerk about it

  14. It’s a tough line to walk here.. unless you date women from different areas, not the same area. If you date two girls on Mactan, take them out to a resto or bar on different days and it’s almost guaranteed their friends will see you there and text the other one about it. Now you’re labeled as a ‘cheater’ and neither one will deal with you. Women here get very possessive on the very first date. You are their big chance and they commit quickly, expecting the same from us. It’s nuts.

  15. What makes it so nutty is that.. they do this judgment even if you’ve only dated them ONE TIME. They expect to be in an exclusive/committed relationship literally by the 2nd date. I understand their motivation, but it’s just not realistic. They are banking on the fact that we’re not used to having really hot women rushing into our lives. That’s how guys end up married their first 6 months here. Me.. almost a year and still have my Bachelor-Card. ha!

  16. If I had to make a ballpark guess.. I’d say that the province girls are quick to marry Filipino men because the parents are so conservative they don’t want her ‘dating’ around. But the city Filipinas, with jobs, I’d say they take their time picking a Filipino man, they want one who isn’t dead-weight (financially).

  17. Well here is another take on it. Let me first say my wife is Filipino .I see it this way in the US we date a lot growing up.we only need to just meet a girl and if you like her hey I like you let’s go out this Friday. In the Philippines things are slower. When I first met my wife we we never left alone and she was 45. Not all are this way but those from good families are.

  18. Yah, it depends on how the girl/woman was raised. I dated a few 18 year olds, but we were never left alone for even a second, not even in public, their house, nothing. Which was fine since I hadn’t dated a girl that young since, well.. since I was 18. ha! It was an interesting experience but I eventually decided a girl that young was not for me. I need someone a bit more mature. So now, dating 22 year olds. That’s been a lot more fun.

  19. Here in the PH they call themselves either ‘ladyboy’ or ‘gay’, which can get confusing when some girl says she’s bringing along her “friend who is a gay”. I expected some gay dude to meet us at the club and instead, it’s a ladyboy. In the US if there are many they seem to be in hiding or certain cities because I rarely saw one over the decades. But here, it’s almost every week. I figure, hey.. that’s their thing, I’m not here to change the world. I’m just on permanent vacation. 🙂

  20. There’s a private school which is unnecessary expensive and public school that is a bit cheaper..way cheaper and international school is way expensive.

  21. I’ve gone to see about 5 Filipino movies that are in Taglish. I think it was Vice who did the comedy I saw, “Sisterakas” while on a date. I’m still learning the language here but I follow along well enough to enjoy the movies done here. 🙂

  22. p.s. I’m seeing a woman now who is 37, and she asked her friend to come along as chaperon. (friend let us go to movies alone though, ha!) Last weekend our ‘date’ was spent having the afternoon at the parent’s home for lunch and karaoke. Had fun. It takes some getting used to, but like you said, the ‘good girl’ Filipinas are worth the wait.

  23. I’ll have to check out that movie!!! I really enjoyed him in This Guys in Love with u Mare check out the songs with the same title… maybe sing karaoke next time to impress her…Hee hee ;0)

  24. Right on Bro, Henry! You’re hittin’ it out of the park re the USA and PH. The first time I was in the PH, I noticed they were everywere, and everyone has at least one in their family. It’s all good. Hey whatever floats their boat, you know. I don’t mind being “generous” about once per month. Any more than than, the requesting party will be liquidated! LOL. God Bless.

  25. You are correct about Ladyboys in the Philippines and yes there are many and yes, the Catholic conservative society (no gay, no divorce, no birth control) certainly has an effect on how they are treated. In Thailand, (they are called Ladyboys there too) the country is Buddhist – and so much more tollerant and open of ones personal choices. In fact Ladyboys in Thailand are even celebrated.

  26. However, Kevin Balot (from Philippines) won Miss International transgender 2012 held in Thailand and it has helped so much in getting Ladyboys noticed and accepted the in Philippines.

  27. At “9:25” “I’m willing to hang around with a democrat” hahahaha! Thought I would die laughing. I know what you mean. eh… enough of the politics. Another great and informative video.

    Gotta tell ya, the closer November 21st gets (my flight date), the more I realize the guts it takes to leave everything I’ve known for 57 years and move to the other side of the planet. A stranger in a strange land for sure. If it were easy it wouldn’t be an adventure now would it?

  28. I know how you feel. In fact, just yesterday I was thinking, “I have all the food I want, great weather, interesting places to explore, all the women I can handle, low living expenses..”, but the reason everyone isn’t out here is because it does take a bit of courage to launch out away from the ‘support network’ we have back home. It’s a big leap, but big rewards in lifestyle to make up for it. 🙂

  29. When I was living on Mactan, I had a brand-new studio for $106 USD a month. Here on Bohol rents are more in the $200 range for Panglao, but you can still get a studio for about $130/month in Tagbilaran.

  30. Henry, thank you for your videos. I have watched most of them and enjoy them very much. You have inspired me to venture outside of my comfort zone and actually LIVE rather than just EXIST as I am planning to visit the PI in the future. However, as a progressive I do feel a need to disagree with your views here. People are not gay by CHOICE, people are gay because they are born that way. It is pervasive throughout nature. Somebody of your obvious intelligence and knowledge should already understand that by now. That being said, I still feel you are a fine person.

    1. Yes, I know it’s an ongoing contemporary debate and I’m not on the progressive side with my views.  However, in social practice I’m probably more accepting of the gays, lesbians and ladyboys in my social circle than most foreigners and definitely more so than the older Filipinos.  They are like anyone else, some are really cool people and some I simply don’t trust very much.  

  31. i’ve run into maybe 40+ gays, phx AZ; worked at one factory where 1/4-1/3 of the employees were gay, dating couples even; the corporation was, no joke, gaylord container; i’m skinny, not a macho-posturing-type (never felt i needed to: 82dAirborne, Ranger qual, Special Forces national guard, a pro kickboxing bout), very articulate, not a womanizer, & so, i’ve paid a heavy price all my 59 yrs–maybe a dozen times i’ve been accused, sometimes openly, of being gay; i’m hoping that BS will probably change in the Ph 

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines thx; am looking for as many options as possible to avoid long-term filipina problems; have saved 200 of your penetrating insights-vids into Ph

    2. @Barry Smith in the PH it’s kinda ironic that for being a ‘catholic country’.. there is a huge amount of openness for gays, lesbians and ladyboy/transgenders.  so a straight guy who might raise an eyebrow in the states would pretty much go unnoticed in the PH.  his main concern would be handling the many filipinas he’d be dating since foreigners are men of choice among the filipina ladies here.  🙂

  32. Surprised this hasn’t been removed, how dare you speak your mind sir?!! Haha
    You are right on track brother, people are people.
    Not on the left myself, but I love many people who are, open minded discussion is the path, respect everyone’s right to their own opinion and don’t take it personally if it differs from your own…

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