Open Dating Options in the Philippines, 1of2

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42 comments

  1. Great post as always! I always appreciate your observations.
    I also am I obervaholic..sometimes a bit too much lol..it can
    get the best of me sometimes.
    While ‘dating’ a few pinay online I gave them the ok to also seek out
    others. They sure were surprised.
    In my opinion it sure takes a special couple to have a marriage in content
    in this day in age. After all, as the World/society becomes increasingly
    complicated, as do the people..making a harmonious relationship/marriage
    so hard to find.
    Best of luck to everyone to find that special someone..one almost
    has to turn over graves to do so..anywhere in the World..

    1. Thats great Grant that would be a pleasure to know you. hmmm..since they changed the format of youtube, I am not familiar how to access the inbox lol. Tips please and thank you lol

    2. @stangeriam
      – Hi there my fellow Canadian and good comments you make.
      I’d like to get to know some quality people that have some
      knowledge of the Phils, and get some advice if I need it. Also
      it would be good to know people that are there, to get together
      for some friendship and commradary. I will send you an email
      direct to your youtube inmail box. I live in central Canada in the
      prairies where it gets cold in the winter. Would like to get to know
      you, and maybe meet sometime. Also I wouldn’t mind a travel
      partner when I go there–just for security reasons. Hope to hear
      back from you Stanger-Grant-in-Canada

    3. @Grant Bedard
      let me add my two cents..
      For the most part, I believe your correct. Yet not in all cases. For myself the majority of my friends are female..both in Canada and in Philippines. Sure many of the pinay want something further but there is a large portion that do not mind entertaining me just as friends. It has been 4 years in some cases.
      I am a small fraction of cases, but it does happen.

    4. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines
      -that is just hilarious–I had to laugh when I read that Henry. I don’t
      think there’s any such thing as a man and woman just being friends
      over there. I mean they have all the friends they can handle–like 3
      brothers, and sisters and multitudes of cousins. I think they mean business
      over there, and if your a man spending time with a woman, she “expects”
      you to have romantic intentions for her. After listening to your videos, I
      think it’s best to lie, and tell them that their the only one UR interested in,
      and keep the peace, and also hold her interest. They don’t like competition.
      ¬†¬†¬† I ‘d love to see you do a video on this subject– “can men and women be
      just friends” ??? I don’t think they make very good friends, as I believe one
      always wants more out of the relationship. I know I’ve had women friends at
      work etc. or neighbors, but never any long term real close friendships, where
      you spend lot’s of time with each other just as “friends”. None of my male friends
      that I know, have long term female friends either. I think you may disagree
      with me on this subject though. I’m referring to here in North America.
      ¬†¬†¬† It’s like when I see a “gorgeous young girl” here in Canada, and she’s with
      some guy, and she tells me their just “friends”. I say to myself–yeah right !!! -coz
      I know full well he’d love to get into her, and he’s hoping he’ll grow on her, and
      win her over. Sometimes it works. So, friends means something totally
      different over here in the west, compared to the Phils. I’d love to hear what other
      people think of this subject. Please do a video on this Henry-it will be great.

    5. Thats great to take the friend approach. That angle just may weed out some of the more unwanted types. I find it so easy to find sweet pinay, yet often they are too simple/boring for the long haul. Yet once they become to exposed to Western ‘culture’, their attitudes often head south. oh the frustrating World we live in lol.
      Just the matter of everybody having a particular level of understanding. Social engineering/conditioning is fairly concrete grrrr

  2. Uprated.¬† Reasonable, rational.¬† I, too, as an expat like to observe and understand better.¬† I must say, back in the States, while single, for a time, I had three lovers at once.¬† Not just dates, but sex when we wanted it.¬† I was careful about hygiene, and as long as they didn’t lose face, they didn’t claim exclusivity and I did not ask for it, they liked it!¬† They didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know, and I didn’t need to tell, but I WOULD NOT LIE.¬† Oddly, quite a few men in the US insisted on exclusivity and claimed they would do the same, but they almost NEVER did.¬† This was not necessary and it jeopardized my feelings for them.¬† Usually I ended it, even when two I loved a lot proposed.¬† With the lovers, we’d take turns paying for “all the date.”¬† We could pick what we wanted to do, and the other could decide yes or no, and I always earned less than the males, so it was fun to pick affordable things I could pay for entirely, make sure they were okay with transport, helped if needed, and hey, I love to cook!¬† The good lovers only did what they wanted as far as dates went, I could say yes or no, and they paid for it all.¬† I really had a blast, and further, there were never any conflicts and I seem to recall I stayed friends with all!¬† American men who knew the score and felt free really liked my focusing on them, genuinely enjoying their company, and treating them politely and well.¬† We had a blast!¬† This American attitude just is unlikely to carry into other cultures.¬†

  3. I didn’t want to lose my comment with “fat fingers” so here is more:¬† French culture is very hard for Americans to grasp.¬† Even married women are expected to have “une petite aventure” in matrimony … an affair.¬† Married men who have a mistress do the “cinq-√†-sept,” traditionally — spend that time with the mistress, then are home for dinner with the wife and family.¬† Hygiene, discretion, respect for feelings and decency are needed and then, they give the Gallic shrug.¬† Marlene Dietrich took it wildly far, but her attitude was quite European.¬† Men, women, her husband was her husband and had a mistress or two himself, at least, long-term!¬† She wouldn’t argue with him in public.¬† Actually, I am this way with my French husband.¬† We decided he’d wear the pants, have the veto vote, and it’s an open marriage.¬† No going behind the back and lying is the rule.¬† I hope he hasn’t cheated because I have no evidence of it.¬† Anyway, I’ve learned to overcome jealousy.¬† I just appreciate respect, politeness, frankness, and ADVANCE WARNING.¬† I did have a sugar daddy some few years ago, at my age.¬† I knew it was short term in nature and told him outright up front and he actually did not object.¬† Our marriage has problems but after 21 years, what could be expected?¬† Really good series, so thoughtful!¬† Our values and behavior are not “a moveable feast.”¬†

    1. @Cory R
      What a hateful thing to say.¬† I’m American, French now.¬† That kind of talk drives me wild.¬† Horrible.¬† You don’t know a thing.

    2. @Jason Wilson Hee hee hee!!¬† The last American I brought over to help me wrecked the place and was a dimwitted pervert, at best!¬† Ha ha ha ha ha!¬† Did 20k euros of damage in two months.¬† ūüôā¬†

  4. I’ve never quite understood the male double standard whereas I can cheat on my wife but¬†I’m so devastated when I find out she too is cheating. Then there’s the¬†“go after the guy she’s having the affair with” instead of her. Must be some primal,¬†cave dweller mating behavior we had or still have that’s¬†closer to animals.

  5. ¬† Great video Henry- for myself I don’t care if the woman I like is
    dating other guys– I sort of prefer it. Reason is, that if she decides
    on me for mate, I know she will have decided that I have the qualities
    she’s looking for. I’ve also noticed, when I ask a girl over there, how
    many men she’s met online–she will always say “none.” You can’t believe
    that though, as her FB page is plastered with foreign guys.
        I also noticed, like you just said, they do not like it at all when you
    say your talking to other Filipina’s as well. I tell them that it’s because
    I don’t really know them til we meet face to face, and see if there’s
    any chemistry. They do not buy that– better to say to her– that she is
    the only Filipina your talking to. Seems to make her feel more secure.

    1. @Roland Tuason It would blow your mind what their capable of during covered with layers of lies from friends also family members. . Yes I’m there. .

    2. @Grant Bedard¬†I agree with you however with my wife , what I have learned that although she may have all these guy friends on facebook or Friendster or whatever, it is not like she sees them each and everytime you are NOT with her. It’s actually not that way at all. Some girls like to show other girls that they are pretty and attractive and can get more guys than their other girl friends. You know sort of like guys when they date girls and show their buddies that they have more girls than them or make it appear that they are dating all these girls and having sex with all of them one after the other. It’s almost impossible to be at two or three places at the same time or date one guy then suddenly after leaving the guy then sees another guy and so on and so on. It’s not like that. Especially in a situation where one guy she dates is in the other side of town and your happen to be with her. The travel time to be at the other part of town will just NOT make any sense and is an impossibility. If you have an inferior sense of self confidence about your manhood then I can see why some guys are freaking out and are feeling uncomfortable that they¬†feel that they are being cheated on. When you are just dating obviously, it’s not really an exclusive type of thing unless both of you have talked about it and that you have known each other for awhile. Like Henry mentioned, you get to know each other first and spend time together for at least 9 months to maybe a year or two. Then you can tell, if you both are for each other and can accept each other’s faults, imperfections and mistakes. You have to know her inside and out and she has to know you inside and out. You may fart at night or she may snore sometimes or she prefers to eat dried fish that stinks but you don’t like the smell or you may like to smoke a cigar with a glass of wine and she hates cigar smoke etc etc. All these little things that make each of us different in a small way and can or cannot accept it on others. If both of you can accept each other’s faults, imperfections, and mistakes (being married or with someone, you need to have a lot more patience and be a little tolerant especially in little matters) then you are both ready for the next step which is commitment. That is in my mind the meaning of love.¬†¬†

      Just my point of view Grant. Not everyone will agree with this but this is reality and we all have our little differences in our human nature. If you want children, you have to¬†have a lot more patience and more tolerance for things to happen beyond your control like a child forgetting to turn the water off. Or leaving¬†the¬†front doors open or letting the cat into the bedroom or wiping their dirty hands on the newly changed bedsheets. These are your children so if you love them, be more patient and more tolerant¬†about¬†these little things. Same with your wife or an elderly parent. if your wife makes mistakes and I am sure she will, because no one is perfect,¬†love means you are willing to forgive her. It does not mean she is going to¬†walk all over you. It just means, you love her. It’s called “unconditional love” and that is the greatest love of all. ¬†I am sure she will return the love back if she really loves you. You will sense this from her on your own when the time comes. To know each other too, you need to live with each other for a little while. Maybe 6 months to a year and see how you feel for each other. There will be arguments. I don’t know any relationship without any arguments but eventually, both of you will always make up. Sex is also better when it is make up sex. LOL. I am sure, as I have experienced, it is getting to know each other that is what is going to be tested and how both of you will feel for each other. Some guys are more than likely to know how they really feel for the woman. If you are just using her for sex or is it just a physical attraction and nothing else? You will know these things because like Henry says, there are lots of pretty girls around. The thing is to set your mind on just one. Someone that will care for you and make you happy in your old age as well. There are women here for that kind of guy. They don’t want to waste time. They know as they get older too, their looks will fade and they need a man who is solid with them so they would look for someone worthwhile and not waste their time.¬† Just my opinion and observation. We are all human. No one stays young forever (without botox or cosmetic surgery lol) .

    3. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. ¬†Because of the social pressures in place here, “lying” comes part and parcel as a way of life for them. ¬†They don’t even call them ‘white lies’.. they are simply “lies because I have a reason”, and that justifies it. ¬†It’s a very non-linear, illogical mindset that focuses more on “the ends justify the means” rather than our ideas of absolute truth or reason.

  6. Great vid Henry!….thanks. ¬†I think a big thing for us Westerners is that a GF or wife of ours is good with money. ¬†We all want a woman who takes care of our money and spends efficiently regardless of us being rich or poor. ¬†Sure…the Filipinas want support for herself and family…but we Westerners want a woman who takes care of the money in a good way. ¬†Nothing turns me on more than when I have taken a Filipina to a big mall in the PI and told her she can buy what she wants, then she finds something and says she can buy it cheaper somewhere else. ¬†That is when you know you have a good woman. LOL

  7. I viewed “internet dating” as an interview process. ¬†Having been married twice, I knew my best chance at finding a compatible filipina would be first to read read read all I could about the culture. ¬†Then I moved on to contacting those I considered potential mates based on their photos and profiles. ¬†I interviewed over a thousand and narrowed my selection to three or four. ¬†After about a year of chatting the one I finally decided might be right for me I came here to meet her to see if we might be compatible in person. ¬†The logic of my approach worked. ¬†I could not have made a better choice. ¬†Lucky? ¬†I’m one of those who believes we make our own luck.

    1. @Jack Panter¬†i wish more men would take some patience and focus with their dating methodology. ¬†it would save everyone involved from so much unnecessary drama. ¬† ¬†ūüôā

  8. I agree 100% that Filipinas should talk to as many men as possible until you are committed to them. ¬†They need to find the best most serious man they can. ¬†What I find is that the Pinays will tell you that you are the only guy they are talking to or they haven’t been with another man in a year since they last saw you. ¬†I have told Pinays repeatedly that I don’t care, but just tell me the truth. ¬†I never get the truth only that your the only one that I have been with anyone in a year and I only chat with you. ¬†I want to see a video on Filipina lying and your take on it. ¬†Thanks.

  9. I think that the man’s reaction is rather justified, if what they are seeking is a wife. Studies have shown that the more men a woman sleeps with prior to marriage negatively impacts marital satisfaction. The number of women a man sleeps with prior to marriage seems to have no impact.

    According to one study by the National Marriage Project:

    53% of women who have only slept with their husbands are highly satisfied in their marriage. That drops to 42% if the woman has had pre-marital sex with 2 or more partners. It drops to 22% for those women who have pre-marital sex with 10 or more partners.

    So if a man is looking for a wife and hoping for a satisfied married life it would behoove him to play the odds and only go after those women who are not playing the field.

    Women can do what they want, but men are not being hypocritical in their decision to next a woman who is playing the field he’s being pragmatic and logical.

  10. With an emotional stable exclusive relationship I can agree. But in a real relationship I don¬īt want be the ATM machine for all of the rest of the big family.For me a true relationships means TWO ! Also two that brings money with working into the family.That¬īs also normally in the Philippines, that two parts are working, e.g. in an government office or whatever kinda work. Whatever they tell you.I have made it through with me as the only one who pay all of the bills, more than one time and soon the wishes with 3 or more kids and that stuff…
    No, in this way, no chance anymore with me. I have learned the lessons.
    There are women, single or widowed, working, and open mindend having no kids, exploring around and don¬īt spend away money for family members which never try to work in their lives at all.
    Sometimes these women already worked in foreign countries like OFWs and made the experience that all the remittances were blown away and they ended up penniless.
    One day I met some of such Filipinas in the VAE. It seems very often the same stories with the money.
    So with money belongings that means for me TWO parts. Always !!!

  11. Hi again, So glad I came across you videos. It has giving me a better insight. I wish I would have found your videos last week. I would have handle things better with Kares. Who knows we might still be talking to each. I sent her a long email apologizing. Told her we could still be friends and I would not file any charges against her. I hope she finds true love and happiness and she makes the next guy #1 in her life. I would be lying if I did not say I still loved her but the trust is hard to repair once broken.

  12. Great Video. I’ve been married to a Filipina for almost 20 years. Here’s the thing, speaking of a traditional good woman, not a scammer. It’s true that you must think a bit differently in that these ladies are usually conservative and traditional. Having said that, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when your in private. Life, death, good times and bad. These girls have seen it all. When it comes to a couples more intimate communication, that is also just part of life and if you’re with a good woman you may have to respect that things may only progress so far until you’re married. Now what does all of this tell you? If you are kind to this beautiful woman that you have found. Be true and reasonable and she will always be faithful to you also, you will likely be her first ….when is the last time you met someone like that? So yes you have to tow the line in a traditional sense be she is offering you the same security and commitment. My Wife and I have disagreed on things over the years but a divorce is simply not on the table. Cheers!

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