Marrying A Filipina: When the Siblings Want Money ; Philippines

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165 comments

  1. Great videos your Life Beyond The Sea is Henry. Not only in
    the Philippines you can be expected to help the family out.
    My late father he was raised in the old Irish way, it’s also the
    same there & my late mother was raised in the old Norwegion
    way. She controled the finances just like in the Philippines.,
    I was married 31 years to a wonderful Filipina from Cavite
    City. My late wife grew up working class, her father worked
    at the U.S.Embassy security after he got out of the U.S.Army,
    from 1942 to 1972, he worked for & served the U.S., before
    World War II, he was a movie stuntman. Two of my late
    wifes brothers served in the U.S. Army, her one sister
    married my cousin, another sister married well & her youngest
    sister, never married-hates men, her one brother was a
    merchant seaman-his two sons only wanted money from
    him & her later oldest brother worked for years in Saudai
    Arabia.
    In my own family I had an uncle on my late fathers side
    who was a scammer, con artist & swindler-he swindled
    my paternal grandmother of her life savings, he fahtered
    2 children in the Philippines that have done well, he never married
    the mother of his two children, his oldest son was career
    U.S. Navy & Civil service at Seal Beach & his oldest daughter
    was a minor actress that did well & married well.
    On my late mothers side of my family I have a cousin who
    used to swindle his mother, My late favorite aunt, used me
    when I was in the Navy in San Diego & Long Beach, his
    older brother was was in the Air Force, an ex brother in law
    and his late older sister(second oldest one in the family) to
    get money, he used to not only swindle, but would use
    the money the wrong way. His mother & father in law to
    this day don’t even let him into their own home because
    of his swindling, scamming & con artistry which he hasen’t
    done in nearly 20 years, it’s not only in the Philippines
    this happens, it’s also in nearly every other country world
    wide as well.

  2. What I have learned in dealing with my fiancée and her family, who are good strong working class type of people where all of her siblings are employed, is that clear expectations must be delivered up front from the very beginning.  My financial resources are about average compared to most other Americans, consequently I had to communicate what that I was capable of financially providing for my fiancée’s family.  If the potential bride and groom cannot agree upon how much help that they can offer her family right down to the penny, then there will be problems, and as most of you know, disagreement on financial issues is the No. 1 cause for divorce, which was basically the main issue that my ex-wife (American Caucasian woman) and I could not agree upon.  It’s better to determine where you are financially, before you jump into something that could be disastrous for both parties. 

    1. U.think its right for your marriage to suffer because your foreign spouse is sending life’s savings to bring her relatives over ? Your loyalty is your marriage first dont over due.it

    2. @antonio gutierrez jr “honoring one’s parents” is not limited to verbal respect.  honoring one’s parents extends to and includes caring for their well-being in their old age.  even if they did not care for us properly as children. 

  3. When u marry ur responsability is to provide for your wife and your kid! You do.what u can ti help others but now u have your own family this is a pastor speaking god bless

  4. I will set up a Family Trust and when I am in the Philippines I will be Marrying and I will help my Family ,already Our imediate family is taken care of .Nely my Fiancee is so Happy and so Is her mama Mely . Thanks for your cool advise I will Put money into Trust . 

  5. Hi henry this is a good topic iits my view that yes i woukd want to help my wifes parents and have in this country when i was married may she rest in peace now but heres the thing i dont know about the brothers and sisters i think that would be up to the parents to help them with what i have given to them it would be more of me to take care of my wife and daughter first but that is just my view and thats the way i am in my heart thanks for the video 🙂

  6. This is another interesting topic u got and I agree with you on the ‘not an obligation part’… What I am unsure of is whether to feel sorry for the pinay wife for having a fam like  that or be sorry for the foreigner husband for what he has to put up  with.. Oh well, 

  7. Stick with your principle because it is biblical. Its sad that this is a common disease in my country. It is a poverty mentality. And most of them will just spend it on alcohol, gambling or women. What you are doing is right my friend.

  8. Just subscribed to your channel and my wife is phillipina and her family always needs money and I try to help when I can but I’m not rich and when my wife needs money for anything I give her $600 A month and for example she said she would pay for her visa to the states and now she wants to borrow money from one of her friends for me to pay back to pay for it I just don’t get it she has over $2000 in savings in her account but she wants to borrow money for me to pay back. Please help me thank you in advance

    1. @Teresita Abella agree with you Teresita . we can help sometimes but not all the time. They pick up Filipina who are very poor in the Phils. Poor from the beginning till the end of their generations. And everybody from their family members having lots of children big poor family. I really hate that. To stop the curse of poverty stop having children like I did.

    2. @Cara Ortega Feel the same way, my cousin is useless. Love him, but i cant pity him. I pity his children though, and mean as it may seem i use him as a example of what not to be in front of the older ones.

    1. @Mike L each relationship is built by the two involved.  there are no mandates.  if an expat does not want to loan money out, don’t.  but i do personally believe that upon marriage, helping to support her parents is the right and moral thing to do.  if an expat does not want to do that, he should say so early in the relationship.

  9. THE MINUTE YOU GET ANY OF THEM ANY MONEY ,THEY ALL EXCEPT SOME MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. IF YOU DON’T YOUR THE BAD GUY , REALLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. i really need your help guys plz
    im from Algeria and my gf is from philippines its quiet far right but that dosnt matter to me us bcuz we love each other nd we are planning to marry so this is my 1st time i visit her since its far and so expensive to me ya know! i really wanna ask her parents a permission at least to be enganged than marry after couple of years ive nvr meet them so any advice to get a yes 

  11. I am Filipina myself I used to send some financial support for my family too and because of my financial help their standard of living a lot better than it used to be. I helped other sibling to start piggery in our big farm and business was successful because of the capital from me. So helping is good as long as not forever and that from my hard earning money not from fiance or husbands pocket. But anyway to all filipinian who are married to foreigners it better to be independent don’t rely to anybody. Good luck to all of you. I am single at 38 yrs old no kid and not looking lol! And no stress!

  12. I have no problem, I have a personal policy, never loan money. Always do for me first, do for my woman, and I am not a bank or a loan company. I have lived by this rule for around 15 years. I also know when I had a major win with a law suit, I told my mom, and my so called brother who I had not seen or heard of, for 7 years–suddenly called me. I laughed in his face, by phone. I gave him ZERO…In around 9 to 12 minutes, phone call over, I still continued to laugh at him

  13. Lets face it in common sense if your sister o brother or parents needed help you would do  as would be a 1 of time maybe , but to a Philippine family and economy its not same it happens a lot more due to means of life to make money is not like a educated western All Pay Tax system as imagine all Philippine people in markets and cash business pay tax  SHAZAAM less poverty and better infrastructure conditions.

    I  am married to a Filipina , some 12years ago a great wife and well I was lucky .

    When  you marry, you the whole family and there constant grab for money , here’s a list DADS heart attack we cant pay Scan ? Mother in law does this ,3 weeks into month she becomes a witch on a broomstick because bills come each month OOOO I hvent made enough as kids bleed me in food and power and tv and free life in home , if siblings make ?? they don’t pass back to family as want to party as mother in law does this>> its common most family I noticed have this as being there over 25 times you see this>>  ” help” Give me money ,No one helps Drama till wears down money for her, her daughter and husband close door, so they don’t pay then its a process of last bunny in hole pays.

    I understand you must help and its fair in my view but upshot of this is <><> you pay when drama comes = $$$$$, medical, funeral, no power, all bills you will be considered a target for this new concept ATM western chump.

    What happens is this Mother in law argues to get her way as shes the Power of family behind dads complacency , then your wife cops it , then she comes asking or wangling when its not a issue to Us but to them its a life and death struggle ,

     I take tis approach , in laws I help and I set boundaries in a whole family budget , 4 kids and 2 parents, I did this eg.$20000 pesos a month is this $20000/4=5000 pesos for each kid a month “O NO you PAY ALL?? “ok ,then when you are fools from a sound offer to continually help for life ,OK from now don’t ask and expect, I wont help any more.

     I am now not going to be helping if you wont help your own parents  and yourselves and out of respect for wife, I offer to help regular not occasionally, then you by your actions now get nothing << then they say we pay some ?? a FILLIPINA MIRACLE OCCURRED >> a win for parents and my self  , Drama is a Philippines life and Tampo is also  called selective Jelly syndrome and PMS  < a tip ,do to them what they do to you, soon stops tampo as they think waaaaa I loose him and his love for me. Irony is if it was us and them reversed ok they are still same good people but have a less chance to make more opportunities for them so I help make a path to get them business that makes a modest living then by doing so intime equates to no more helping as they get there start in life , I bought a banana business and seems to be going ok m, doesn't make a packet but what effort they put in they make and made them happy to be able to have constant work and self worth " That's worth it in my view " self worth makes them proud to make future for them and kids.

  14. …if you marry a filipina you marry her whole family too…  it’s bad and i’m not proud of it… filipinos tend to rely so much on siblings who marry foreigners thinking they all have the answer to their problem and situation… you are right… no one owns you but yourself… and you should try to help yourself by being on your own and not with the help of your siblings..

  15. Lol–I love this video and know exactly what you mean.
    My wife is Filipina, and we’ve been married for 16 years. Her father passed away long ago, and her mother left her when she was just 15 days old. However, her mother is just now trying to be part of her life. Maybe she found out my wife married a “rich American.”
    Luckily, we don’t experience the problems you discuss here. We did early on, but dealt with them swiftly to the point that we no longer get asked.
    We know when a family member truly needs monetary help for good reason and we help on our own terms without being asked.
    I have a bunch of experience in this realm and can certainly help your subscribers and commenters by sharing those experiences.

    1. this REALLY sounds like
      my grandma loling !!!!! 🙁
      she did NOT even raise My Mother ,
      but My Great-Grandparents raised
      My Mother instead . I think the ONLY REASON
      for being a part of My Mother’s Life
      is because My Father is An American !!!!! 🙁

  16. I like your videos. In this particular case though, I would only financially help the parents if they were unable to work themselves. I’m not about to hand over any of my hard earned money to anyone who is not willing to work. If my girlfriend could not understand this, she would not be my girlfriend anymore. Here in the states, I was raised that everyone works for what they get. I have always been poor, but everything I have I earned. Like you said, the difference in culture may affect how a Filipina thinks, but if she doesn’t believe everyone needs to work for what they get, then she is only going to make you poor too.

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Thanks for explaining this in more detail. In this case I agree with you. If my future Filipina wife’s parents are her financial burden, then that would make them mine too. However, If they are healthy enough to work I would probably get them started in gardening and fishing so they can eat and sell what they don’t. Of course this is just my view. I was raised to be a survivor. I was taught how to hunt, fish, garden, and raise livestock. As a child, this was my families only means of survival. Of course if they are not healthy enough to do any of these things, then maybe giving them money would be the only other option if they don’t have other healthy family members in need of work who are healthy enough to do any of these things. I’m sure you’ve heard the “teach a man to fish” philosophy enough times. Now if you don’t know how to do these things yourself so you can teach them, then of course donating some money each month would probably be easier. You seem like a nice guy and I just wouldn’t want to see you taken advantage of. I read a lot of these comments and I remember someone mentioning the best way to make sure your donated money goes to good use is by actually buying food and the things in which they need rather than just giving them the money. This of course would be totally up to you and fall into your trust category. I have learned more than I ever thought I would know about the Philippines just from watching your videos. It’s nice to see you happy and with someone who seems to make you happy. I wish you the best and God willing maybe I will get to meet you in person in a few years.

    2. @Darrell Graves in most cases, not all, but most.. the parents are old, weak and not viable in the PH workplace. most places won’t hire unless you are under age 25 and have a college degree. it’s not a matter of they “won’t” work.. there’s simply no job market for people over 50 years old. it’s hard enough for 35+ year old filipinas to still find a job here. age discrimination is not prohibited in the PH. so, in most cases, the parent’s only means of support is what they get from their children.

    1. It is the rule here that dudes leave the young ones as soon as they get pregnant. Wealth off guys have mistresses…but I do hear a lot of similarites from you….a lot of filipinas could walk down the street here and blend right in.
       

    2. @Will Hart the latin, strong ties to family are similar. but ironically, the machismo and cheating/abandoning husbands dynamic is present as well. the fathers who stay with their family are often good fathers/husbands.. but so many others also become MIA as soon as he finds out she’s pregnant. as for history, many mexicans did find themselves on spanish ships which stopped in the PH. there is a place called zamboanga where the chavacano dialect is about 80% spanish vocabulary. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexico-Philippines_relations

  17. I have been married to my Filipina wife for a little over three years now.Sending money regularly to her family bothered me quite a bit at first.I confess I have the tendency to be selfish and a miser, but as time went by and I gave to her  family anyway, albeit begrudgingly at times, I discovered the blessing that comes from giving that I never knew before.The old saying is actually true, “It IS more blessed to give than to receive.”

  18. there is a way to give without being sucked dry. They don’t like that way. It’s gotta be on their terms. When comes time for them to give back, “are you crazy”? Fortunately a good sense of humor and a little discretion can make the whole thing less sleezy. What do I know right?

  19. I run a charity in the Philippines helping kids from sex trade. I work with the families. i have learned No matter what You do you cant help enough.. I often pay for kids to go to college But the parents get upset cuz they want the kids to be working they dont understand How this will help n the long run..

    1. Thanks for replying my turn. Makes me feel better that I am not the only man that has been through this. And don’t worry about the typos. I do that all the time. I like to fimd one that dosnt have a bunch of syblings. I be back in 2 months. And will be there permanently. I am just going to a small apartment. And not rush anything. Cause I really want be happy in my life for a change.

    2. haha That story IS the same with EVERY man I know here. Yes My GFs family is pissed I make them work for money and only help with business they think being with a Foriegner they should be retired and rich and into a new CLass of life. Sorry for your experiance but dont give up.. sorry about the spelling My Fingers dont want to work today haha. WHen will you come back and where will you stay?

    3. I agree. i was just over there. for 30 days have been sending my girlfriend to collage for a year now. and also sending around $50 to $100 a month. then went over and spent over $2500.00 on the family with pigs redigerator materesses fans. rice for 3 month. and alot of others things. and the brother has asked me for a loan. and as soon as I got back the father asked for ( only) 2000 pesos for a breeder pig. and when I said no. I spent to much this month. text and skyping has been cut almost all off. then the told me. she will find a richer man that will take care of her families financial problem. buy them a better home and start them a bussiness. these people have dirt floors. I felt sorry for her. but my trip was miserable.and I felt pressured all the time there. I am glad we are not speaking. I am going to come to live there. but not going to get involved tell I maybe meet somone that has a middle class family. or no family at all. Don’t mind being nice and heloing but man they always come at you with there needs. was talking to the father before she told me she find another man. Help him set up a welding vulunizing bussieness she has 4 bothers two are grown. and not doing a darn thing and ufigured the could help set it up. and if they were making very good money. probably would still have to pay for dinner and the evening oit. But I could see them asking for more. And also what I don’t like about filipinos. You say I want to take say 4 people to dinner. and the next thing there are or 8 at the table. Very over welling for me.

  20. I will choose my husband over my family, especially if they are always asking money from me to help them. I used to help my family since I was single and that’s enough. Filipino culture is freaking ridiculous! Once they get married particularly to foreign guys, they expected from their husbands that they could help their families as well. That is the reason why other countries looked down on us. They should learn to get by their own lives.

    1. I am the wife of this name
      that I am using to post .
      I REALLY WISH
      THAT YOU WERE
      MY MOTHER INSTEAD
      because you chose your husband
      over your greedy family instead !!!!!
      My Mother used My Father
      and My Mother’s Family
      ONLY wanted MONEY 🙁
      Grandma Loling REALLY HATED
      OUR FAMILY because My Father’s Family
      was AMERICAN , WHITE , and METHODIST ;
      but , My Grandma Loling had NO problem
      in using our family for ONLY MONEY
      which we REALLY did NOT have much of !!!!! 🙁

    2. +annie kwen few women realize the benefits of protecting and honoring their husband the man in this video is a smart man and to be honest most forign men will easily understand honoring parents and will uphold that promise.

  21. Seems to me the bottom line in all of this is one of Henry’s 10 (or whatever) Commandments…Don’t do shit for AT LEAST the first year of knowing her. If she’s gonna start up about money and family it’ll be long before a year is up. I initially thought this my be a little long but not anymore. Besides that I earned my retirement because of a war. You think anyone is just gonna take it from me? Not in THIS lifetime or the next.

  22. My marriage broke up as I couldn’t take any more pressure for money all the time. Hindsight is a great thing, but I perhaps ignored the truth as I did love the woman. Life in this country(UK) will NEVER be a priority for her- there is too much expected from her. I am working class, but tens of thousands of £s have went from here to over there for numerous reasons/excuses. I wouldn’t mind so much if there ws some gratitude, but the fuckers expect it and keep spitting out more and more babies that they can’t afford to feed!

    1. Bold, I am a foreigner i feel for you, been there, done that, I left my filipina for the same reasons, but she played with a filipino man. Better live alone than to go through this again.

    2. boldbhoy67 yes,and although they are a Catholic country ,you can use condoms.which are sold in pharmacy’s.theres no excuse for large families,these days.i know in the past they had many kids so that they would take care of them later,but really? These days,living is an expensive thing,instead of opening your legs,for the future,why not stop at 2 and have a better life while your younger.Just my View.

  23. Also I might add, I have been in many countries around the world rich and poor, but the filipinos are no 1 for looking for/expecting charity. They don’t seem to put much effort into life if there are no short term rewards. I know there are exceptions, but generally speaking what I say is true. How can such backward people ever hope to flourish???

  24. I’d say a vast majority of Filipinas who marry foreigners do it for financial reasons. Any foreigner (especially the older ones) who thinks that these women love them are delusional. I guess if you count being attracted to your financial stability as a form of love then it’s all good. If you are going to marry a Filipina, at least know what you are getting into. How big is her family and what is her family’s financial situation? And if you are going to send money to her parents, make sure it’s just enough for them. If you give too much, all that money tend to end up as “loans” to all these other relatives who have no intention of paying them back.

  25. Its a typical in Pilipino to help parents, siblings what matters ,specially the poorest because they see every situation in everyday life. They risk their lives to help loved ones. . You surely dont understand because you were born in another society and spoiled, you Don’t know what they experienced. They are surviving . For me they are excellent people, they care at each other.

    1. Spoiled (sic)??? You don’t know everyones life story.
      I for one, spent my childhood being shipped from foster home to foster home. Most being abusive. At 13 I ran away from the system and did what I had to do to survive.
      I put my self through high school and college, working before and after school. I built my own business from scratch and will retire early in a year at 45 years old.
      No one gave me a thing, i’ve work my guts out to get everything I have.
      Now tell me again how I was Spoiled.

    2. vincent greeney
      Not really! I am a Filipino and I know Filipinoes better than most and it is true. I am not saying all of them are gold diggers but there is a lot of them. So be very careful!

    1. my grandma loling was
      a very extremely narcissistic racist parasitic b word
      who HATED our family , but had NO problem
      using our family for MONEY !!!!! 🙁

  26. You are right about taking care of her parents and usually it is just the mother who is a widow. I have seen filipinas who make the standard wage of a $175 a month for working 6 days a week and 10 hours a day. But they still send money to their parents. But when it comes to sisters and brothers, then there is no obligation to support them. The problem with supporting them is that they wont work now since you are sending money. Every situation is different and you have to use common sense about it. I always believe that if you can loan it, you can give it. Many truths in what you said. Philippines is a whole different culture than USA or other western countries.

  27. I also like to say that my best friend is mexican american and his values toward family and parents are the same as yours. They value family alot. He took care of his sick mother for years, took her to the store, to the doctors office, took her shopping. He did all this expecting nothing in return. When he couldnt do it, his brothers would do it. He is single and had the time, his brothers are married with kids and always didnt have the time. That is what I like about filipinas, their high standards toward parents and family. Many have lost that value in USA and it is sad to see.

    1. but in my experience as a Filipina
      who was a domestic helper for A Migrant Mexican Family ,
      Mexicans are ACTUALLY HAVE REAL VALUES
      TOWARDS FAMILY , are NOT lazy people ,
      ARE VERY HARD WORKING PEOPLE
      WHERE EVERYONE ACTUALLY HELPS OUT and NOT just a FEW
      in the FAMILY DOING ALL OF THE WORK ,
      and do NOT use people
      like people do in the philippines !!!!! 🙁

    1. +LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines, Your money support for siblings won’t work. If you feel the parents need money, give it on their birthdays and Christmas and that’s it. No money to the siblings.

    2. +Randy Starks according to google; “An expatriate (often shortened to expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing, as an immigrant, in a country other than that of their citizenship. The word comes from the Latin terms ex (“out of”) and patria (“country, fatherland”).”

  28. I also agree with the support / help of the parents,,, but the rest of the3 family soon try to become leeches… My girl has a cousin and sister that are both married to western men , But they always try to get her (ME) to give them money.. One has 4 kids… her husband is a RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER so he gets more then I do each month…. NO WAY I WILL GIVE THEM ANYTHING !

    1. + me I never ask my husband  for my family. I work hard for I can help them every need my parent they are old and I don’t like going to work my mother she don’t have good health condition. I love my parent specially my mother I bought her medicine  as her maintenance supply for whole month. I leave my daughter and my parents take care with her with my younger sister and I ask my husband for help to support my   daughter and his daughter I did not force him if he don’t want it because I can support her by my own and some my salary I pay half all expenses for  household sometimes I short budget my husband  pay some of the bills just need to understand each other. I love my family in the Philippines if  my sibling  have emergency need I will help them. they not asking money if not important sometime I gave them they told me might I don’t have money left I said I have little left just good enough. just depends the family how they close each or love each others. Said my Mom, before I was single and still very young. all of you my kids need to love each other and helping each other if need help I don’t to see  fighting each other. but sometimes argue its a normal if cannot understand each other. but not big argue a few minute just ok we just some bad comment.

  29. I have looked over the comments, it’s a no win situation. My friend we will call him Kenny, retired in the USA 8 years ago and now lives in Thailand. He had the exact situation with his first girlfriend, except it was her mother wanting money. Kenny wanted his new girlfriend to move in, first mistake. His girlfriend wanted money for her mother $150 a month, that is a living wage in Thailand, he agreed to pay, second mistake. After 3 months her mother wanted more money every month, she tried to squeeze Kenny for $500.00 a month. Kenny told his girlfriend no, he said no more than $150, his girlfriend said she would leave, he said leave, but she didn’t. At that point Kenny decided to end the relationship, but knew there could be drama and he had 3 months left on his apartment lease. So Kenny informed his landlord he would not renew the lease and said he would move out at the end of the 3rd week in his last month of the lease. Kenny explained the girlfriend situation and she would not be going with him. He found another apartment in another near by town. The last week Kenny packed his suit cases and move out of his furnished apartment. He called the girlfriend said it was over and there will be more payments to her Mom, the landlord knew everything and she was to move out in one week. She was pissed but could do nothing, she didn’t know where he moved and Kenny was already standing in new apartment when he called her. Kenny came back to the USA about a year ago to visit his parents, that’s when he told me the story of his first 6 months in Thailand. Kenny’s first rule in Thailand, don’t let any women move in, only date women. He is currently involved with 3 women, all have regular jobs and all leave in separate towns. Rule number 2, all these women must call before they visit, this is mandatory. Kenny said he has been very happy the last 7 years.

  30. This a very good account of how it works, and for the guys who haven’t experienced life there, especially guys conducting an Internet relationship and thinking of going to the PI, then let me say this is very good advice and exactly how it is. This is exactly the sort of stuff guys should know before taking any Internet relationship further, or consideration of going to the PI they should know this stuff.. You have probably heard it before but the fact is, it is just how Reekay is telling it. you get involved with any Pinay, you get involved and FINANCIALLY with the whole family. Anyone tells you any different is an armchair expert who hasn’t been there.

  31. A filipina woman who really loves you and not your bank account would never allow her family to “abuse” you financially coz that would be very shameful. But if you’re in a situation where your gf demands that you support her family better think agen. I’m a filipina and it’s part of our culture to take care of our parents especially when they’re old but doesn’t mean that you’ll pass the burden just because a family member is married to a foreigner. Sadly a lot of expats find themselves in those situations. My sister is married to a foreigner too but we never demanded or ask or beg for money. In the event my mom need assistance ( which she never asks) we her children in our own volition will give her some some assistance let’s say additional fund to buy her meds or just some extra allowance in case she wants to buy something. But i appreciate my brother-in-law’s sincere effort to sent money to my mom during Christmas even if i always remind my sister that he is not obliged to do so. I am an ofw so i know pretty well how it’s like. You have to work hard to earn money. In like manner that my brother-in-law work hard so he can provide for his family(my sister, nephew & niece).

    1. +hssa96 very true. my girlfriend’s family does not ‘expect’ nor has asked for anything. i have volunteered to help on occasion when there was a need, but they do not depend on me, they do what they can on their own. i don’t mind choosing to help them out with monthly expenses since lyn lost her job after we got together and i prefer she learned something online rather than going to work again. so i make up what she was giving to her parents. but they never asked for it nor did she.

  32. My Friend Is Severely Disabled Can’t work He Is In His Late 50s She Is 30 He A Met Philipina On The Internet Went To The Philippines Married Her 3 Years Ago Came Back To His Country And All He Gets Out Of The Marriage Is A Couple Of Hours Chat A Day On The Internet And Continous Requests For Money His Clothes Are Full Of Holes Cos He Hasn’t Got Any Money To Buy New Ones And He Barely Has Enough Food To Eat He Is Sending All His Money To This Philipina.
    He Is Besotted With Her
    Is There Any Help For Him Out There
    Thank You

  33. I don’t know why anyone is really surprised over this. More time than not, the girl is marrying you for what you can give her & her extended family. You are their bridge to a better life for these people who have all their lives, existed on next to nothing. You are the lottery. If you’re going over here looking for true love, you’re not likely to find it without it having many strings attached. You don’t just marry the girl, you marry the entire family, financially & otherwise. I have had several friends who tool this journey only to be very disappointed. Usually it is older gentlemen who tend to gravitate toward this illusion of love & God knows that there is no fool like an old fool.

  34. My Filipina wife passed away in June 2015 and I am still sending money each month to Nanay (mother in law). I do this each month the same as my wife did. The siblings have not asked for anything other than medical equipment for Tatay as extra since my wife’s passing. I believe strongly if you lay down the rules, expectations will be in line and most will treat you as family as long as you are open.

  35. Don’t tolerate your sibling asking for a money,they have their own lives,they can work for it.I do understand if you want to help the parents,because some other parents doesn’t have any work and doesn’t have any income.That part i would understand.

    1. i’m not sure if you’re saying you already married a filipino or intend to marry one. if already married, you can enter the PH with her and get a balikbayan entry. if you are still not married, you will need an ‘onward ticket’ to enter the country. for that you can look for any cheap flight leaving the PH within 30 days of your arrival at; http://www.skyscanners.com

  36. No obligation to give to her parents either. As far as word of honor to pay back on loans, that will not happen. As all else in life there are exceptions. A few may have honor but not as a rule . A loan in the Philippines means a pasalubong, a gift.

    1. in that case, you believe you have no obligation to care for your own parents if they need you in their old age. that’s your choice, but it’s a choice to ignore the obligation. just remember, any woman who would turn her back on her own parents will likely turn her back on you when you are older and need her.

  37. I have loaned money to my brother-in -law on two various occasions and this was paid back to me by his daughter working in Saudi Arabia, the third time I was asked for a loan I refused, as I had a sneaking suspicion that this time they would find it hard to pay me back. When I first moved here as a matter of fact on my very first visit to PH and after 4 hours in the country the brother of my then fiancee ask to loan money WTF I was pissed, I mean he could have at least waited a few days after I got over my jet lag before popping the question and he didn´t even know me!!! Anyway the comments I made after that must have scared him away. Nowadays none of my wife´s family members ask for money anymore and maybe they´re disappointed in me but honestly I don´t give a F….. at least I have peace of mind.

    1. I was actually very happy
      when my grandma loling passed away
      and was out of my life
      because many of my family in the philippines
      would tell very malicious lies about me
      to my parents who were stupid enough to believe them
      if I did NOT give any money to my relatives and family
      in the philippines . This is one reason I will NEVER EVER
      go back to the philippines to visit relatives and family
      because they REALLY do NOT miss me for ME ,
      but rather for MONEY that I do NOT have
      and think I have !!!!! 🙁

  38. The best way to avoid this headache is just say NO to everyone, once they realize the only word you know when it comes to money is NO, they stop asking…..

  39. I dated a fiipin woman from 2009 to 2012 “Dated not married” she moved in with me in mid 2010 with my son and me . two months after she moved in it started and I was shocked . First her mom comes over and ask my Gf Lisa for money for her dads meds “300.00” we lived in florida not the Philippines. Lisa looks at me and ask if WE could lone them the money. I have to say I was shocked when she said We. I go thats up to you , Its your money and family . Lisa takes me in our bedroom and tells me she doesn’t have that kind of money in savings. I ask her why not? I don’t ask her any money to pay bills or food , I pay for everything. I own my own home”paid off” and everything in it is paid for. She tells me she has been giving her pay checks to her family to help them . She was a manager at pizza hut ” made about 37k a year , not including bonuses ” . that floored me she is giving them her whole pay check and they now want to take money from me. I told her let me deal with her mom about the money. I tell her mom I would loan her the money but she would have to sign a contract from lawyer she will pay it back with in 6 months and in the contract would say a judge could with hold money from her check”she was working” to pay me back if she didn’t . She got so mad and stormed off . Lisa was upset with how her mom acted . Took me months to get Lisa to stop giving her pay checks to her family and put it in to savings. this is how I found out why Lisa had money problems when I first started dating her and she lost her because she was paying all her families bills, dad and mom, brother and two sisters all was living together living off her :/ her mom and one of her sister had jobs paying mini wage, dad hasn’t worked in years , her brother was a drunk and couldn’t hold a job and her sister was just lazy and out to party every night drinking free in bars . When we broke up” not because of her family” Lisa had over 75k in savings and I told her Not to give her family money , let them take care of them selves . all of them are adults and aren’t disabled . back in 2015 she bought her first house with her new husband 🙂 paid cash for it.. fyi we are still good friends and I went to her wedding.  So, don’t put up with your spouses dead beat family no matter where they are from goes to girl and guys !

    1. lifebeyondthesea most of the filippina family are like that, working abroad i met a lot of filipina worker, all with the same stories. less than an hour sitting talking to them u `will hear their stories even without asking, oh my mom is sick ,my brother need this ,my my oh my! they will do anything for extra cash to send home, telling lies n all other BS.Once u give them a handout be prepared to be ask for more n more. it will never be enough, even my hubby said to me “pls stay away from pinay they like to create drama”. In many case I’ve seen they borrowed money from each other then disappeared. U can imagine some of this pinay borrowed money from their own colleagues n friends, a few hundred USD here n there ,then she went back to philippines n never come back. With the foreign man usually is always the same story, my mom ,my dad or my bro is sick. I use to work with many pinay they always tell me stories sometimes it doesn’t make any sense.

    2. it’s insane how some parents can bleed out an OFW daughter with guilt, rather than being content with basic support. in stead they want it ‘all’. not all filipino parents are this way, only some are. and it’s the filipina working hard overseas who is the real victim.

  40. My first 6 months in Rosario cavite i couldn’t believe the stream of people coming to the apt we had asking for loans and or proposing business investments on things that was unreal Being a carny and knowing how things would turn out wasn’t to hard to just say nope Please donate to my cause Im a unemployed carny living here in the Philippines Didnt take long for them to understand i was no better off than they are

  41. Taking “care” of the family, is a major reason why Fliippino women seek out richer men. This is a major reason why the family loves suckers so much. It is an easy means to money.

  42. If its a small island word gets around quickly that there’s barato or kuripot kano, people just may be tempted to avoid his presence even old ladies spitting in disbelief. .

  43. I married American but I never asked money from him to support my family. I have 8 siblings I only give money if its really emergency. My relatives never try to talk to him if they want money they talk to me then Im the one who set boundaries for them..explain to them that Im not picking up some money. I work two Jobs.

    1. LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines thank you for your reply. I will definitely grab some candy. It’s my first time meeting her. Should I at least get her something? Thanks again for all of your informative and entertaining videos.

    2. filipinos have a custom, where a visiting traveler brings back candies, snacks, etc. when visiting. typically it’s items like mini-chocolate bars, any kind of snack not available in the PH but available in your country. i often grab a bunch of the halloween candy bags of mini-chocolate bars. you can read more about it at this link. but it’s not “christmas”, so don’t go overboard. 🙂 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasalubong

  44. Hi, I like your videos but the volume is always low on all of them. Can you crank up the volume on your end ? I listen mainly on my laptop or phone and I know that I cannot be the only one with this problem.
    Keep them coming. I’m living in sta rosa laguna and enjoy the travel blogs

  45. Sorry just dont send anyone money. Unless you’re all set in life yourself and living off interest. Just dont. The parents already made the decision and your wife needs to think of her future with u. You’re not a cash cow. I’ve made a mistake of giving money to my able bodied father and guess what? He never appreciated it. I petitioned him to come here because i am sick of sending money 💰 and now hes complaining on how tough it is to earn money. No shit. I am done sending money to anyone. Even parents and brothers. I need to think of my own future with my husband. Sending them money doesn’t help them, it creates a generation of poor.

  46. I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. IHAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT.. AFTER 10 YEARS OF FIGHTING THE WHOLE FAMILY ,I GAVE UP . LIKE THE SONG,YOU GOT TO KNOWWHEN TO FOLD AND KNOW WHEN TO RUN. I WAS A SLOW LEARNER. IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS TO FINALLY LEARN THAT I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN ATM. WHEN THE FAMILY FINDS OUT ,THAT THEIR DAUGHTER,SISTER,OR COUSIN IS MARRYING A FOREIGNER, THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL QUIT WORK. IF YOU HAVE A GOOD HUNTING DOG,HE HUNTS EVERY DAY,ALWAYS CATCHING SOMETHING. START FEEDING HIM, EVERY DAY PUT A BOWL OF FOOD ON THE PORCH. IT WON’T BE LONG BEFORE HE WON’T LEAVE THE PORCH . HE WILL THERE AND WAIT.HE WILL FORGET HOW TO HUNT. I WONDER HOW PEOPLE GET BY THAT DON’T HAVE A PRETTY DAUGHTER TO MARRY OFF..HOW DID THEY LIVE BEFORE SHE GOT OLD ENOUGH THEY COULD CASH HER IN /

  47. I’ve heard this happening to other guys but I guess I was just lucky to marry into my wife’s family. They are not rich by any means and make enough to survive and that’s about it but they have never asked me for any money whatsoever. I take care of my wife’s mother who lives with us and I give her young brother a job and he lives with us but nobody ever asks me for anything. It might be because of their religion as the are Muslim but I consider myself lucky to be part of their family.

  48. I met a fine Filipina lady in Canada where we live. When we started dating I told her straight up that I wasn’t sending my money to her family. She actually asked me once we were married and our money was joined if she could send money, cause she did send some of her income home to her mother. Now in this instance I really don’t mind. Even on birthdays of her parents I’ll give her one or two hundred which is whatever. But I stated to her that I’d never support her whole family. But Filipina ladies are generally well spoken females in my opinion and she can understand my reasons. We make enough to live ok here, but what we make seems like a fortune there which it is just not when paying Canadian bills lol.

  49. I personally would do my part and take care of the parents to an extent but you have no obligation to the siblings unless you really want to, but consider it a gift because you won’t ever see it coming back to you!

  50. guess what, we have a lot of Filipinas here working in Alaska young and old some have worked here in the fishing processing industry for decades so guess what “Brother and Sister” if you need money, the jobs that provide my income are right here for you as well, and yes the ones that work here LIVE in the Philippines how ironic is THAT? so get your lazy ass to Alaska and get a job in the fishing industry. The money you make here will provide you with a good life there.

    1. it’s not easy work but it really does pay well because of all the overtime hours you get, one of the guys in our Kitchen is from Philippines and he is 25 and just bought a house over there after working for 7 months straight. Not sure it’s fully paid for but I’m sure most of it is and if it’s not it should be soon.

  51. If the girl wants to help her bros n sisters!! And she will they all do it but its not our call to help them . We married the girl !! Not the whole family.

  52. Professional Leeches pure and simple…Give me money so I don’t have to work ~ So I can sit on my lazy azz during the day (actually sleeping till noon/1pm/2pm) and then party all night…But they’ll still find a way to make someone else pay for the food and drink that night…

  53. I ask for collateral of value three times the loan, and set a date, after which it is a sale. Make the deal in front of dependable witnesses. It washes out the scammers. And to turn someone down, say a single word, NO. Any reasons you give can be debated, but no is just no.

  54. It is a very sad when the brother can not proved for his only family and ask his sister for a loan that will never will be pay back. The parents just had way too many kids. All the parents

  55. As you know i haved in the Phils sense 2003 .
    When i married my wife i told her from the start .
    1. I will not support Btothers ans Sisters annts Uncles .
    And sense mom and was seperated i will help mom only .i totally remodeled her home a class A remodel i give her $750 USD minthly that pay utilities doctoer medication food
    Thats it . I told to save incase hospital stay she pays for Philhealth and she has pre paid for het funeral she is 80 years old

  56. not only in the Philippines…also other part of Asia do that…First,u have to be upfront that u will marry her and not the entire family.. Filipinos still dont understand that once u r married,THE PRIORITY IS THE HUSBAND AND OWN KIDS and not the relatives Outside the marriage

  57. i love your videos, you are honest to the point, i am a foreigner was married to a filipina, i left her because she played me with a pinoy man, yes her families always ask for money, loans, helping nephews with school tuition, uniforms, almost every month i was spending $3000USD until i left her, now i am single have plenty of money, thank you for your great video this will help foreigners who are in that situation, even her son who is filipino he wants Nike sneakers, i told him i buy you cheap shoes 1500p he said no, they took advantage of me, and when i said no they all hate me, they don’t even talk to me, but i helped them many times before, you say no 1 time your no good. Again thank you for the great video.

  58. I herd the average pay in Philippines is about $150 a month which is not a lot of money, you just have to say to them in beginning of dating that you are not a bank and you don’t lend out money. They will still ask you anyway but just say no. Tell them you are not rich like they think and you can only afford the two of you to live there, then wait to see what they say after a few months of dating or marriage. Only offer I you want to lend money but beware or leave relationship you decide.

  59. I have not encountered this at all but yet I’m still not there with the girl I want to be with. I find this video very helpful knowledge for when I do get there or maybe getting the conversation started now. I will follow up later hopefully I will be there in June coming to Cebu.Thank you again

  60. I wouldn’t give anyone a single penny and I wouldn’t marry because they do the same thing in the Caribbean islands and south America and I have already been through that bullshit, I wouldn’t marry a Filipino woman and I wouldn’t let anyone live with me and I would refuse to even ALLOW a woman to say that I am her man . It’s the same HUSTLE all over the world, I love you, your my husband and the next thing you know you hear a LOUD BEEPING AND THERE’S A 25 TON DUMP TRUCK BACKING UP TO DUMP ALL OF YOUR NEW WIFE’S BULLSHIT AND PROBLEMS ON YOU, AND THEN WHEN YOU REFUSE TO PAY YOU ARE THE DEVIL, HELL NO DON’T DO IT, YOU DON’T RETIRE OVERSEAS TO TAKE CARE OF SOMEONE ELSE’S FAMILY, FUCK THEM, THEY WILL ROB YOU THE FIRST CHANCE THEY GET MORE THAN LIKELY, DON’T DO IT!!!!!!! YOU WILL BE LEFT PENNILESS IF YOU DO.

  61. How likely is it that the filipinas family will ask to loan money from me? My girlfriends supports her parents to the tune of 7000 pesos a month not including the utilities,she also supports her brother who is perfectly able to work but refuses to stay at a job for longer than 2 weeks and when he is broke he goes back home to stay.He has 2 children and a girlfriend to…what do you think…any opinions would be appreciated.

  62. do not give money at all!! even if ur filipina girlfriends kids needs money for their school supplies and food, if not married to her its not your responsibility….period

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