Marrying A Filipina: Helping Her Parents – Philippines

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203 comments

  1. So true about filpinas have a big family. When i marryed to a filpina friend of mine i promised her not to play her heart at all and i’ll help out her parents when they ask or nor her.

  2. Money will go from Mother to brother in-law who has several girl friends, sister who has gambling problem and boyfriend, family here will act like big shots and throw away your hard earned cash while you work hard in the states, that’s the real truth… seriously, send items mom and pop need in a balikabyan box.  I have my doubts as to weather you actually live here or are just blessed with money to give away, if blessed with the money tree good on ya but you don’t know what your talking about..

  3. We gave her mother a new Honda 125 to get around pay the rent and help with food as an income is really difficult and we live a good life overseas. By culture Filipinos meet the needs of their parents and once you settle with that things are okay. If you haven’t got it don’t send it.

  4. I find this post to be very true and rea. I accept all that is being shared. Passing i9t forward to the parents of the girl that has filled my dreams is a small price to pay fpr eternal happiness and love.

  5. I think it goes both ways. My father is Filipino & when his mother & brother were alive (years ago when I was a kid), he sent money to them. He’s the only member of his family who immigrated to the US. When other family members found out-even the higher status doctors & lawyers, they started writing letters & telling us their problems, asking for help. I also knew several Filipinos in college who came here under student visas & they worked one or two jobs while going to school just to send money home to their family. (I always thought college kids who came to the US to study were from upper middle class or rich families, but not always).  From what I’ve seen & been told by my Asian friends, it seems like it’s the normal & expected thing to do. Family is everything in their culture. My mom is in her 70s (dad passed) & my aunt & I have been helping her financially every month for the past 20+ years. FYI: we all live in the U.S.

  6. Try this.. Find a filipina in the internet, they’re thousands of them, fishing for a foreigner to become their husband… Most of them are poor, but arrogant… If you find one, don’t say she’s in love with me.. STUPID!!!

  7. It’s “positive” to have a culture of fleecing foreigners to support your parents? Hmmmm, I hardly consider that honoring them. It’s disgraceful!

    1. C Michael Murray, shame on you, I was married 31 years to a wonderful FIlipina woman, she passed away 3/6/2010. We had 3 children.
      My late parents who are of Irish ancestery(My late father) & Norwegion ancestery(My late mother) also helped their parents out. You have
      no respect for your parents generation whatsoever. I was in the U.S. Navy, I had helped my parents out by sending a monthly allotment.
      I have seen my late father unemployed, he worked hard, but he would be laid off because he was the low man on the totem pole, not enough
      seniority, even downturns in the aircraft, automobile industries. You have a lot of nerve to call sending some money to parents fleecing. You
      don’t deserve a decent caring loving woman whatsoever. Within the next 3 to 4 years I will be returning to the Philippines for good, I’m being
      financially driven out of my own country. I gave 40 faithful, loyal, dedicated, patriotic years of my life of serving & working for my country, my
      government retirement is not enough to live on after I pay all the bills, I have applied for work, only to get a job interview at best. Guess what,
      I have a right to be lied to, betrayed, slapped in the face, stabbed in the back for all those faithful, loyal dedicated, patriotic years of service, while
      my counterparts who were in Congress from states where gambling, prostitution, & marijuana are not legal get to have a TAX FREE RETIREMENT,
      get to shop in the military base commissaries, exchanges, get head of the line shopping rights over those in uniform, get free medical & dental
      care, get to be first priority over those in uniform that have to report for duty overseas on space Avaliable flights, these former members of
      Congress-the Hous & Senate have never worn a military uniform at all, never been away from their families, never been in a hostile war
      zone at all have more rights than Veterans, retired military who are now NO CLASS CITIZENS in their own country-WHAT A DEAL!

    2. @C Michael Murray the problem is your own perspective.  you don’t see marriage as a union at all.  to you, ‘her’ problems are still ‘her’ problems after marriage.  any money out of your tightwad hands is seen as ‘fleecing’.  meanwhile, she’s honoring her parents care for her by returning that care and all you can do is bitch.  shame on you.  don’t bother marrying a filipina, it will be best for all involved.

  8. I just noticed you’ve only been there for 18 months or so. I look forward to seeing the tone change if you last longer, after you’ve been scammed, robbed and taken advantage of like every other foreigner I know who’s lived there for any extended time. Hopefully you’ll. Have a better experience, don’t be foolish like me and try to start a business. Good luck, I genuinely hope your experience will be different than mine and EVERY single other foreigner I knew living there. Mind you, your a walking ATM to 99% of the people you meet.

    1. @C Michael Murray Sad, you’re experience isn’t good in my country and my people, yet not all like that , probably you pick a rotten fruit in my country….When you go to Philippines you don’t trust people around you , especially in the city …some people if they know your a foreigner they will take advantage you ! Why? The mentality of some people are ( person who came from other country has a lot of money )… I don’t generalise my people but that is reality…Sometimes it depends the area, the City , the family of which this Filipino came from, Is she educated ? A good family back ground…and most of all Is she trusted?….You have to research first before you invest you effort and money to a person….Its like business…before you set up business you should know first if you can benefit …

      Hope I give you some point …..:-)

    2. Agreed, I had similar experiences, including an attempt to start a business, but mine turned me off. I’m a boat captain by trade, been to 54 countries, Phils went from top of my list to bottom after my last 4 month visit. Your right about ‘perspective’ and I know ex-pats who roll with the blows after being robbed, lied to, manipulated, sick from food poisoning and stressed from the in-laws, they stay and smile. Seems maybe you will be one of the, and I genuinely wish you the best there. I recommend staying in the province, not trusting anyone or starting a business and yes, it can be a great place. Aloha!

    3. @C Michael Murray actually i’ve been here just over 2 years.  you sound very fatalistic and bitter.  sounds like you got rolled a few times in the PH and no longer enjoy it.  me.. i was mugged in Cebu a year ago, my apartment robbed in Moalboal, been through the biggest earthquake of my life living on Bohol, then went through Yoland followed by no water or electric for 2 weeks.. been lied to be some conniving filipinas along the way and YET.. I STILL LOVE IT HERE.  i guess the PH isn’t the place for you.  For me, none of that stuff detracts from all the positive things i’ve discovered.

  9. Hi, I’m struggling about a discussion that we have about support the family with money. For making you a view of a example… She is going to finishing school and wanna go work Abroad or she can also choose to come with me to Belgium.. okey that does no matter for now actually. She will earn to just say something 40k and she need to pay 20k for sleep and needs, That means she have still 20k over, (Total cost of the family 20k) She have also 2 Brothers that are working abroad and also earing around the same. If she give all the 20k she have nothing anymore and is really unfair because she pay just all of the payments already and hold nothing for her self. My question is how much she can give for support her family if the payments are around 20k and her brothers(2) are also working abroad? Because I told her I wanna built something with her and she wants it to also actually? That she wanna help her family is of course a normal thing for real I’m soo agree with this for real.. but in that way is soooo totally unfair and also is starting of a game without a ending… I’m scared for this… Thank you in advance…

    1. @Olala BoomPanes ‘supporting’ one’s parents does not mean giving 100% of available money.  she should plan out an affordable budget to give to her parents.  same with the siblings giving as well.  she is entitled to keep some of her earnings, it is her money, her property.  she should do both, support herself and contribute to her family.. not just give it all away.

  10. In my own family on my late mothers side it’s also the same
    as in the Philippines. My late mother was first generation
    born American, her parents & older sister(my late favorite aunt)
    were immigrants from Norway(My maternal grandfather) &
    Canada(maternal grandmother & aunt) in 1968 my parents,
    aunt & uncle(my late mothers brother & sister in law) discussed
    about pooling some money together to have my grandparents
    travel from Denver East to New Jersey & the Buffalo-Niagara
    Falls area for a visit. My late mother, aunt & uncle did just
    that, they bought my grandparents their round trip train
    tickets, mu uncle let my grandparents use his station wagon,
    my parents let my grand parents use the main family car.
    My late mother ran & controlled the budget just like my
    late wife of 31 years did. My late wife was from Cavite City,
    my late paternal grandmother also did the same as well, she
    was of Irish ancestery. Not only FIlipinos are expected to
    help their parents out, it’s also the same among the Irish,
    Spanish, Italian, Norwegion , Samoan, Russian & Chinese
    as well. The only American ethnic groups that will take care
    of their elderly parents are the Amish, Native AMerican Indians,
    Eskimoes, Samoans & Hawaiians. My late parents were the
    last generation of my ancestery to help their parents out.
    When I went into the Navy on active duty, I helped my parents
    out by sending a monthly allotment to them because I’ve
    seen my father unemployed many times, he worked, even
    in retirement, he would fix small appliances such as installing
    new cords in irons, toasters, toaster ovens, lamps for neighbors.
    My late father was an electrician.

  11. ive been married to a filipina for 3 years now and before we went to her home which was described to me as but a shack, so I told her I would not go here without a bathroom or shower and a fridge and coffee maker and toaster, and I wanted a bed to sleep on , her response was,if you want all the comforts of home , there there but if you want western comforts you will have to pay, and I did , what I didn’t realize was the little money I did send was use to repair and furnish as requested, and there were even receipts for every purchase and reno, and the work was top notch, I can tell ou when I arrived I wasn’t asked once to help any member of her family but I felt compelled to when I saw what her family was enduring as I wanted those who would be left behind to be better off than when I arrived. and snce we have both watched as her family prospered with the little help we gave ie I sent her brother all my mechanic tools and sent him on a training course . now hes working for cat and is a heavy duty mechanic a dream up to that point. and her youngest brother is a carpenter who I also sent tools too. he is also now a general contractor who is earning a income. this with left over tools from trades I used t do . so theres no need to say there all greedy they will and do work and earn , maybe they just need a hand up not a hand out as speculated  that’s all form me

  12. Too bad the parents often treat their children as nothing more than walking ATM machines, demanding land, house, car, business, health expenses, gifts, guilt tripping their children into shame if they do not get their wishes. When they become a Off shore, they are doomed. Family ties quickly fall apart. That is one part of the culture that I think you may have missed.

  13. I have been married to my wife for 6 years now, I help her family(mother and father)They never ask for anything, and thank me when i give to them, They are good people, Before i got married i knew that when you marry a girl from the phills you marry her family too. I help my sister in law too and her 4 kids because there father ran away with another girl and dont help them, She dont ask for help from me ether,

  14. In the Philippines, one of children gets to take care of the parents, and USUALLY it’s the one who’s more better off, but there are also many other reasons.  I mean,  the parents won’t want to live with you if they feel they’re not wanted, right? 

    1. @iliketheodds sometimes it’s the oldest child, the ‘richest’ one or the youngest (last to leave) the house.  it’s all on a case by case basis.

  15. I notice your mexican.. the adjustment shouldn’t be that different..mexican culture and filipino culture is very similar since most of the spanish culture philippine got are from mexico and not spain.

  16. Like you, I know many stories there and here, families and situations vary don’t they. What draws my attention the most are Filipinas who came to the states, married, then maybe divorced once they began working with a decent wage. I recall a Filipina in FL who told me she avoided her family back in the PH. I asked why? She stated that they never would leave her alone, calling and wanting aid all the time, then if she helped one, the other’s complained and criticized her as they sat around with no jobs and didn’t take her efforts into account as a single mom here who actually worked. For me, I had never heard that before. I asked do you want to return/visit there, No way, just because she left there, now she was seen as a wallet, just like other Kanos. 

  17. Honor thy parents is one of the 10 commandments. You live in a country that is predominantly catholic, evidenced by the 6 million Filipinoes who attended Pope Francis’s mass. Whether male or female, it is expected that successful children help their parents if they need it. It’s a family issue that for some reason Americans forgot simply because independence became the style as the U.S. ages. As you mention, it is a group and the nuclear family is the most important part of any Filipino’s life.

    Unfortunately, a young Filipina will more than sacrifice themselves to ensure they are able to meet that obligation. By sacrifice I mean be with a person who they truly do not love, but can tolerate for the good of the family. Henry, if you find a woman that is true love, helping take care or better yet, be a part of that family comes natural. Otherwise, who are you kidding.

    1. Can you imagine Noel being married to someone that totally despises you can’t stand the sight of you all because the family is greedy, actually happens all the time poor slob doesn’t even know why she’s acting that way after all the things he done for her. How do I know that for sure it happen to me, so I dump the little Mahal like basura.

  18. So you’re not just going down the aisle with your bride to be but you’re also going down the aisle with with three quarters of her family??..Can you imagine what the divorce settlement can be in such a case??…

    1. OMG… let’s look at that. If is each family member would just like would like just one grain of rice, double that number of grains of rice on the second family member, and so on: double the number of grains of rice on each of the next 24 members of the clan = 67108864 grains of rice. It may be less expensive to get a divorce in USA .:)

  19. Stridus7…excuse im a filipina too..pilipino parents are not lazy it may be some low class citizens but they are not poor..and they may have reasons why and i think a good reasons that foriegner likes the filipina too..or let me say this.. They like filipina becoz they very caring..hospitable..loving..sweet that may not see in their country..maybe some people are not contented in thier own womens in thier own country for a reasons..and may find only asians beauty..what country are u?? Are u very much sure that in ur country all are not the same of what ur saying..we are more educated we finish 3 stages of learning elementary.high school and college degree at all filipino find man in other country are poor..they just find each other compatibility..or some man gave them money its may be becoz they lovr to give in return like husband and wife..and i do accept the fact that some girls uses this looking for foriegn man but not all of thier parents uses them… Correction..we are different nationality so respect..we are still religious people in philippines we dont allow abortion so if a family maybe thier life looks poor becoz of too many childrens..atleast we dont abort..they still keep thier children go to school eat..and i think becoz of the influences of social net is the big reason generations are changing..thats the reasons..

  20. you can say what ever you want about why Filipina marrying a foreigner but it all comes down to only one reason why Filipina do this, To help a family and get away from suffering in the Phils and we cannot deny it.

    1. @Dong Utot Every situation is Different. My Fiance is NOT a teenager she is 34. She is Pretty, has a successful career and a 4 year collage degree. I am an average looking guy ( at best ) who is far from rich. She could have any man she wants but wants me anyway 🙂 She has No interest in coming to the United States except maybe on vacation. I Have lived in the Philippines before so I have a good understanding of the culture. I keep coming back because I personally value the same things most Filipinas do…..A strong unbreakable marriage for life and the complete love of Family. My fiancé in some ways acts Very Western in her prioritys. She spent her early years pursuing career and education, now as she approaches midlife she wants Family and Children before she is too old. She has seen and likes the look of mixed race children and while she won’t come right out and say it, she likes the attention we get when are out in public… I am a bit of a status symbol to her. She is truly the woman of my dreams so I see no reason our Marriage won’t last a lifetime 🙂

    2. @Bound for Baguio
      Traditionally in Phils love always comes after u get married, only teenager think of cute love before they got married, and other reason like to have a beautiful children are just a bonus and they use other excuses like this to cover up the real reason. I am citizen  in other country and me too went back to our province to find a wife, do you think my wife is thinking of having a beautiful children for marrying me ? She loves me and we are happy now with a kid, do you think if I was living as her neighbor in the Phils would she marry ?

    3. @Dong Utot You do make some Valid Points. Survival is Important But so is Love. One characteristic you have not mentioned is some Filipinas marry Foreign men because they want Beautiful Children and think the genetic mix of both Races is Beautiful.  My Fiance thinks in these terms 🙂 ….There are a lot of Different reasons to Marry Foreigners not just for there wallet.

    4. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines yes I know a lot of Filipina that are married with foreigner and I never say they aren’t happy coz my Mother is married with foreigner and they are happy but the main reason for marrying foreigner in the first place is still same reason… to fulfill the family responsibility. Do you think if our country is lucky as other country, would a Filipina marry an older foreigner just to be happy? when they can do  it in the Phils and not away from the family.

    5. @Dong Utot you must not know any happily married Fil-Am couples to make such a broad statement. i know plenty of couples here in the PH who are married for over 8 years because they love each other. to think that a filipina’s sole reason for marriage to a foriegner boils down to only money can only be summed up in one word; “Jaded”.

  21. To Marry into a Philippine Family is kind of like buying a car 🙂 Would you buy one without thinking about the whole package? Gas, Maintenance and Insurance. Family is Family….Period! Thinking back being Generous and Selfless has been some of the Happiest times of my life, there is a special magic in Giving of ones self that I can’t explain. 🙂 Americans would be wise to learn that our own lives are not the end all be all. We are so totally self centered sometimes it makes me ashamed to be identified with all of that image. I Hate the Term “Ugly American” But over the years we have kind of earned it….. Haven’t we?.

    1. NO ONE likes to be Lied to or Conned. Most Americans can be Generous, Where there is a serious lack of understanding is how much different the Philippine people value family compared to American people. In America it’s all about self interest where in both the Philippines and Thailand ( I’ve been in both ) Family takes care of Family……There is No Government Welfare state like in the U.S.

    2. I beg to different with you Americans are some of the kindest generous people in the world even if it’s misdirected or misunderstood except they don’t like to be lied and conned out of their generosity .

  22. I’m trying to secure my fiancée’s visa so we can get married. it’s a tedious process and I’ve had financial setbacks.. anyone having the same issues then I hope the best for you! I set up a go fund me so if anyone cares to contribute then that would be awesome!.. gofundme.com/rmu678

  23. I just came back from meeting my GF in Cebu for the first time. I spent 12 days there with her and I didn’t want to come home. We are now engaged and I have started the Fiance Visa process. She is just AMAZING. I totally agree with you about helping take care of her parents. They are very sweet and loving and it is very important in the Philippine culture for the parents to be looked after. Your videos are great and have really helped me out a lot. Thank you so much.

    1. Don Howard 2nd Best To Ya, & happy to hear your wonderful story & yes these videos are a nice reality to view… Plus taking care of your Fiancee’s Parents is a must joy to your happy marriage , so bond in happiness with them!!!

    2. +Don Howard II Good luck Don,, Not all parents in the Philippines are dependent on their kids..My wife and I want to help out sometime and do send money but not because we are asked..Happy family, happy wife and kids ,, It all works out..

  24. I think you are a mature person and a sensible one Henry, yes, the Philippines may not be the perfect country, scammers, corruption in the government..but definitely it is not the worst. I wish I could meet you in person in the future. God bless you Henry and may you always be safe and happy here in my country.

    1. My husband and I are considering to live in Dumaguete..my hometown’s in Bacolod City. capital of Negros..but we’re currently living in Manila as the internet is more stable here and electricity as well..I have an online job so we can live anywhere..my concern is, does the internet in Duma stable enough?we went there before but only stayed a day or two..no online jobs yet at that time

  25. H, One question – I get what you’re saying but, in your experience, does this philosophy create an obvious hierarchy whereby you and the family you and your Filipina start will always come second to the Filipina’s (original) family? The Philippines sounds EXTREMELY Mexican. (I know the Spanish ‘conquered’ the Philippines). To me the most important relationship should be the family you and your Filipina have. Just curious.

    1. +LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Interesting that you wrote “risk losing her expat husband” considering how difficult and long of a process it is to divorce considering it is illegal….unless you’re one of the extremely few Muslims. All this is considering if you lived in the PHI of course.

    2. @Alex Mooney unfortunately you’re not being answered by the originator to your question, my experience dealing with Filipinos in business things usually go sour.

    3. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Wonderfully spoken. You put out so much content and I’m still sorting through it on here and on your site. But I’d really like to know how your piggery turned out as I’m still on the 2012/2013 posts which cover what you were doing back then. Let me know please. Thanks

    4. @Jt T i’ve spoken with plenty of expats who are married. the ones who have the biggest problems with the extended family are those who did not set down boundaries early on in the relationship. he needs to communicate to his filipina fiance’/wife that their own family comes first, then her parents. the rest of the family is on their own and not to be hanging around the house all day mooching off his wealth. it is then the filipina’s response to either protect her home from her own family overrunning it, or risk losing her expat husband. without boundaries, there will be a lot of stress and problems in the expat’s home.

  26. my reaction to Pinay: Oh they love their family oh so much… awe cute… hold on uncle wants a tuk tuk business… run! PI is fine… Pinay are beautiful but getting to marry a hot girl 20 years your junior or more comes at a premium… it’s called hard currency… It’s their culture… I’m so not complaining… it’s awesome we have as Western men an out in PI or Thailand as opposed to these whining feminist “I wanna be equal to the man” succubuses we have here… cheers

  27. My dilemma right now. I’m almost at the point that I’m done. I’ll let my mom cry wolf. I found out that she’s been lying to me or us. My husband is very nice and we do send money to her. It’s just right now, things were tight and we have kids already. Yet my mom don’t get it. I sent her money to start business and all she did was lied to me. She told me that she bought fridge and have a little store. I found out, there’s no fridge and no store! Also, that someone broke into our house. And we don’t have TV anymore. She still have the tv! She got an emergency surgery and ended up with a colostomy bag, we paid for all of it since she don’t have insurance. We paid almost $7000. It hurt us financially. Last week, they called me and told my my steo sister is in trouble that she was raped. I sent the money that was supposed for her colostomy supplies so that she have months worth. She was told that my sister is just creating trouble and she don’t need to go there. She was advised by my aunt, not to. At first she said yes, she’ll just use the money to start a small business. She ended going. Now she needs money again for fare to go back. I asked her why the money is gone. All hell broke loose. She was crying. And told me that she have to spend it here and there. I didn’t sent her enough. She told me don’t bother helping her anymore. Blah blah blah. I feel like I’m bein blackmailed by my own mother! I so feel bad for my husband. I have family and it’s my priority. I gave her a lot of chances. We don’t make big bucks. She causee me anxiety. Everytime we talk it’s all about her problems. It’s all about money. I’m getting tired. I already told her what’s our situation but it seems whether she doesn’t understand or she thinks I’m just lying. And I’m not.

    1. @Maricar that is a sad and hard situation. that she would lie to you like that. in such a case i would say just send what she needs for medical, food, utilities.. the same amount, each time with no extra money for these made up ’emergencies’. she needs to learn that there will be no more increases or extra funds due to her practices. this way, you know you are providing, but not giving in to her manipulations. in time she will simply have to learn to budget her money. as for your sister or other siblings, they are on their own. none of them have any been taking care of your expenses. you only owe ‘some’ support to your parents and your sister(s)/siblings need to support her as well. not just you.

  28. Yes I do understand the women wants to help their parents, but I cannot help all brothers, sisters and others! This is what happen to me!  I had to divorce my wife, because of her outside family’s 25+ keep asking for more and more money.

    1. Keith… I would have loved to seen a video asking you for funds to support the clan I’m sure those stories and drama must have been an endless source of irritation.

    2. @Keith Johnson “parents only” for support. the rest should have no expectations. anything i help them with should be my idea, not theirs.

  29. I try to help them to earn their own money, by opening stores and other business, but they did not like to work for the money, just want me to take care of them all.

    1. Keith,
      I have been in the US for 24 yrs, had an excellent job.. Right now, female neighbors both married and single thinks I’m a hot dude and kept telling me that I’m the ONE and they loved me. The reason I’m still single is I’m smart.

    2. Keith Johnson, you must be meeting the wrong ones i guess but i know a lot of them there who love working & want their on store & business… And maybe we need to hook up so i can guide you to them if you like!!!

    3. +Keith Johnson This is sad.Some Filipinos I know started with only 3000 Pesos and less than one week, their money grow to more than 3 folds.This depends very much on how they manage their money.

    4. Dwayne Hickman as ‘Dobie Gillis’ & Bob Denver as ‘Maynard G. Krebs’ in The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis (1959-63 )
      Maynard G. Krebs began as a stereotypical beatnik with a goatee who used hip slang. He was … To Maynard, work was a four-letter work that provoked a fearful reaction – “Work!”

  30. Like JLT noted, this is true in Mexico. You are expected to help the whole family. But you have to follow the dictum..’when in Rome’…if is the custom and expected you either do it or bail…

  31. I’m sorry to have to say like the other guy on here that you are misinformed. Wait a few years longer and see if your perspective has changed. Honoring one’s parents is one thing where there is honor dignity respect and some common courtesy is going on. But hello we’re talking about filipinos who by and large are the most disgraceful people, they certainly have no respectfulness in how they treat each other, how much less the foreigner (unless he’s so kindhearted and generous or stupid, which is their target). The comment by Maricar on here highlights it all how her own mother is lying to her making up ’emergencies’ demanding money of her filipina daughter who has her own children to take care of. The mother doesn’t give a squat about that, only her own selfish money demands. Ok so fuck those people. They are the meanest cruelest people I’ve ever seen my entire life.. Truly heartless to the very rotten core. I don’t how see how people can get on here and say they are so nice and sweet. You don’t know their true nature because the money hasn’t dried up yet in your situations. Then the shit will really hit. … look, get real, the whole thing is a crock… all this talk about family values and honoring parents. ok so by their own definition of ‘honoring’ their parents their supposed to support their parents for their entire lives then WHY DON’T THE OTHER SIBLINGS HELP OUT but no they don’t they put it all on the shoulders of the one sibling who has the foreign bf or husband.  go figure. They are the biggest fucking hypocrites I’ve ever seen. All talk and huff but then they don’t want to get off their lazy asses to work a job themselves or to help out themselves. And all this bullshit about how poverty stricken they are… they aren’t starving…. look , when they get money sent to them and then you see brother-in-law sporting his new iphone… come on man… the money isn’t being spent on food…. the filipina like to pretend stupid but mark my words they are crafty and sly. They are despicable disgraceful unthankful users. For them its all about getting as much as they can squeeze out of you. Filipinas I have known for a long time gradually admitted this to me. They want to be supported for life without having to work for it. They’re con artists. All the crying and bellowing about ‘i don’t have’ is all part of the con to see how stupid you are. Siblings need school money. Brother wants to start a business. Its all jacked. Yeah you finance the sibling all the way through school then he refuses to use it, he refuses to work. What a waste. What a crock of shit. Your ‘helping them’ doesn’t actually help them. It just makes them lazy more demanding more rotten horrible attitudes. And one can see this going on all over the entire country.  Is this what you want to marry into? Think long and hard about it. Its your life. I can never do that no matter how much I like the girl. I can never justify the disgrace and degrading way they will take even $100 or any amount of money small or large and completely waste it. There is no reason to ever give money to them. If the gf or wife leaves let them leave. Its all a game (part of their plan) to them anyways. to see how much they can sucker people. They can put on a great theater performance of tears or silent treatment or even threats to report you. Look, screw them, their assholes. Its better for them to leave or to be alone and not have anything to do with them than for your entire life for years to come until you die, to continue to pay for their sloth all their b-day parties and lazy lifestyles. Its not honoring to anyone to enable their irresponsibility, it makes them worse. When people work and do things for themselves it encourages healthy pride and responsibility. But the filipinos are crafty enough to pay lip service to this as well. They might chime on about how they want to work if only someone would help them them start get their feet on the ground. But time and again, by and large, we see that this also is just another trickery as they take the money or opportunity or whatever and waste it.

    1. @Johncruzer unless someone has a gun to his head, they have the choice to set a limit. “this is what we give your parents.. that’s the limit per month.” if a couple can agree on that, great. but if not, there will be problems. this is why i keep saying over and over again, “know that filipina for a year before making any big decision about marriage.” most guys just rush into a marriage with no clue what her expectations are in regard to helping her parents or siblings. most don’t even discuss it before marriage. half the problem is adult men who don’t know they should be setting a limit and stick to it.

  32. because of this stupid thinking from american’s, the mind from filipina’s go change! the american’s go to the philippines, show her credit card and buy what they want! but the most filipina’s don’t know, that the american’s also poor! because they need pay back for the credit card!
    i get also the experience, that the most filipino’s are thinking, i am a american!
    but i am from germany, a mutch better country! and not so poor like america!
    and it’s not easy, to find a regular normal filipina, because the most see like this
    “white foreigners = american” and “american = big money”!
    and yes of course, everybody support his mother and dad in law! it’s not only in the philippines!
    the question is only, how you do it!

    1. I should say not all people are good and not all people are bad. But maybe you experienced shit because u do shit to them… if u will visit in the philippines make sure to know their culture and know how to respect so they will respect you back treat a person as a person not what u hear or say from others. Filipinos are family oriented people ur lucky if you get old with them cz when u get old they will throw u in homecare and visit when tney just want too.. not like some other country when their parents get old they put it in homecare..u will get old and u will need some attention for yourself.

  33. Spot on. In our culture, as we get older it becomes the responsibility of the child(ren) to take care of our aging parents. Whether it be before marriage or after marriage; with a Filipino or non-Filipino, it is the standard. That’s why we don’t have retirement homes in the Philippines.
    Something I don’t agree with however, is the norm that Filipinos strive to find foreigners to provide a better life for them. This puts foreigners on such a pedestal, allowing others to label our people negatively. Lol rant of the day.

    1. +Karen Domingo It is not the norm that Filipinos strive to find foreigners but with the combination of temptation and desperation , this drive many into seeking this route and not many of them have good ending.This sadest thing is this activity is on the rise.Most western countries noticed this long ago and measures already taken to stop it.

  34. ok question. last month i met my girlfriend in the php and today we’re talking about marriage. if i wanna marry her but stay in the php what all would i need?

    1. +IXIKAYAKOxSAEKIIXI you don’t need to be married to stay in the PH. you simply extend your tourist-visa and stay single. (it’s what i do.) after 3 years you leave the PH for over 24 hours, re-enter and continue to stay, extending your tourist visa as a single person.

    2. i wouldn’t say a month. we met a year ago but last month i was able to fly there to see her. sadly only for 3 weeks. i know that the philippine wont hire me cuz they dont want to take jobs away from their people. but my girl talks about opening a store. 

      so if i do marry her, am i allowed to stay? 

    3. @IXIKAYAKOxSAEKIIXI one other thing you want to pause and consider; if you met someone in your own country, would you be ready to marry them after only knowing them a month? how much to you really know about her? just something to think about.

    4. @IXIKAYAKOxSAEKIIXI mainly, a passport, plane ticket and a monthly income. do NOT come to the PH expecting to find a job here. at most you’d make around $2 usd per day. best bet is to earn money online.

  35. Filipinos or filipina women’s are marrying a foreigner because of money?..if so,why so many foreigners like to have a Filipino wife’s?.. hmmm….I’m just thinking of foreigners who complains about marrying a filipina..

    1. WTF!DAMN NO ITS NOT TRUE!
      WHY ALITS OF AMERICAN COME ON THE INTERNET GO SEARCHING IN DATING FILIPINA?WHY?WHAT WRONG WIT YOUR WHITE GIRLS IN USA ETC.HUH?
      I HVE LDR NOW BUT I NEVER ASK HIM A FINANCIAL FIR MY FAMILY.
      WTF OTHER AMERICANS MEN THERE FEELING WOW!
      MY FAMILY HVE ONW FARM AT THE PHILIPPINES.
      @TO ALL THE AMERICANS MEN THINK BEFORE YOU SAY!WORDS CN HURT FEELINGS.

    1. +Apple Shin ahahah.. you make me laugh :)) thats right ! your very right… yeah. why all this foreign guy just mary their white girl in their country so they wont have problem at all.if it is only their money their worry about.

    2. Actually im a pinay but i ddnt look to go and marry of foreigner guy because of hes money etc…..because why my dad got own properties…..and most of all im so independent woman….god give me complete parts of my body to use it get a job…..so dont generalize or judge all pinay like that….coz im askin you some question foreign guy…..y lots of foreigner come filipino online dating and come marry the girl??y u not choosing your white girl in your place?

    3. +Rico Sadao Know that person and her family well before making any firm commitment rather than to avoid.You’ll never know.If you marry a rich pinay in Cebu who live in huge mansion you’ll be well looked after without worrying about finance.

  36. yeah, you marry the daugther and the family. Well, just do not give them any impression that you are generous. Date the girl and get to know her just like what you do here in the USA. If the girl even mention the needs of her parents run as fast as you can because she is looking for acow to milk. This is sad, she will string you along and by the time you are hook it is her way or the highway, you do not need this because your dream of staying in the Philippines is just going to be a dream. She would like you to bring her to the USA and her whole family that will even more a tragedy because it is expensive here. Then if you are an elderly man and she is young then once she gets here she will look for boyfriend or even petitioned her boyfriend from the Phils. after she divorce you that is after she got her green card. So everyone you do not need these aggrevations, live and spend wisely, you can still retire in the Phils. without getting married to a filipina but then again there are good filipina women who is not after the green card if you will just take your time.

  37. Im a pure 100%filipina and just looking some fcking comments here.
    NOT ALL THE FILIPINA THAT THERE PARENTS WANTS A SUPPORT AND THERE NOT LAZY.
    F U DONT WANT TO MARRY A FILIPINA WILL DONT SAY A STUFFSS….WHO YOU THINK U ARE IS YOUR COUNTRY HVE A PERFECT GIRLS HUH AMERICAN MAN?
    WTF……I HVE A LDR BUT I NEVER ASK HIM A MONEY FOR MY FAMILY.
    MY FAMILY HVE OWN FARM ETC.
    SOME FORIGNERS THEY ARE GOOD/SOME OF THEM THEY GO AND LOOK DOWN INTO FILIPINA.
    WTF!SHIT
    @I’LL JUST HVE A BIG QUESTION?? TO ALL AMERICAN MAN
    Y YOU GO ONLINE DATING AND SEARCHING A FILIPINA GIRLS TO BECOME YOUR WIFE HUH?
    AND Y YOU DDNT CHOOSE YOUR WHITE GIRL???
    IM JUST CONFUSING TO OTHER AMERICAN MAN SHIT!

    1. +Apple Shin 100% ‘pure’ filipina does not exist in the Philippines.Just take a look at all your name, De la Cruz, Mendoza, Bautista etc, all Spanish origins and most of you also have Chinese last name.If you are looking for pure Filipino you have to consult a local indigenous people living on some remote islands.Even Palawan is crowded by their standard.

  38. The way I see it is like this, their culture may be for their children to help support them throughout old age and I don’t have a problem with that, BUT I AM NOT THEIR CHILD so that does not apply to me, simple as that! Now if she wants to do that and has or gets a job, as long as she puts her agreed upon percentage of pay into our joint account, she can do as she pleases with the rest. I have no problem with that and it would be discussed before marriage.

  39. well very good friend of mine married filipina..it didint end up well…she was very greedy ask for money all the time -everyone in family was “sick” and everyone needed “operation”nothing was ever good enough-more money more money…i dont think is a matter of culture to extract money from your husband because in may cultures kids are supporting their parents but its the way how you do it…sex was once every few weeks of course and suprisinlgy only after bigger transfer of money to philiphines…when they can to vist his family in europe she was very angry that my friend bought nice gifts to his nieces and parents they had huge fight that he took the family to restaurant -and thats was too much for it..they are divorced now…well it doesnt matter where the woman is from if you start relationship from sponsoring its never gonna be real…remember when you pay money is always good -its like being sugar daddy …

    1. +Shaun P Patterson Exactly Shaun.Some one who loves you unconditionally for being who you are and not of you being this and that to satisfy her own needs.

    2. +raleighman3000 I was surprised with valentine’s day gifts from her which was awesome. I’ve never had any woman give me anything here on the U.S. with all the goodies costing about $40 usd by my calculation and shipping costing $35 usd, she spent a lot.

      we talk 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening every day and video chat 6+ hours every weekend. when she went back to the Phillipines she was showing me live video of her brother and sisters who are working as nurses in a hospital, and her youngest sis who is a med tech studying to be a nurse. they are well off I would say.

    3. yes her family was very poor there were living all together in small shed like house not really in the slums.she wasnt bar girl at least not that how they met..my friend thought that women who lived in such a poverty and difficult conditions will appreciate better life -he was working as civil ingenieur in dubai..but she didnt appreciate it at all…

    4. +lyanna lyanna she hasn’t asked for money and hasn’t had any problems arise that she has told me about. I watched her several times help her sister’s and aunt with money (and she has a lot in her bank account I’ve seen her paycheck too. I have just seen too many videos online and that makes me worry, but in my heart I believe this is one of those times everything is true.

      she even mailed me and my kids presents for my birthday and christmas (yes I have a Bday near christmas lol). the items weren’t cheap and the shipping was expensive to ship from Thailand to the United states.

      she works as an English teacher in a Christian school in Thailand and I have toured around the school with her(on skype) and seen her with her students.

      in October she paid her two brothers airfare when they were all going back in the philippines for vacation. one of her brothers came from Singapore and she was coming from Thailand. then I watched as she booked more flights for them to go back to the philippines for Christmas. she has a lot of money and one brother is an Engineer and his wife is a nurse, the younger sisters are nurses and I’ve seen their credintials and them working at the hospital.

      I want to keep in contact with you just so if and when this works out you will have a friend you can tell good stories about lol.

      Also… I am stingy about giving out money, all my friends know they can’t ask me for it. I would never…. ever give someone money even a GF unless she was here with me living in my house. my girlfriend knows this cause I told her when we started talking because I was worried about things I heard. so she knows I won’t send any over.

      My experience with Filipinas so far has been enlightening and I never knew women could be this devoted to making things work. I have dated one here in the US that was crazy though so I know they all aren’t peaches and creme lol.

  40. Yeah some do try to get very greedy but what I do is I will support her and tell her she can work if she wants and do what ever with her money. Been married to 2 Filippina working on #3 because they do have a tendancy to cheat. But I just love filippina what can you say.

  41. I hope you will not generalize all Filipino women… Yes, many filipina do marry or tend to marry foreigners with money in mind but most of them do it not for themselves but for their families.. although it’s sad but it’s true that when these filipinas marry foreigners, they kind of expect that their foreign husbands would take care of their families as well.. and unfortunately they sometimes demand things. but I believe that that only happens when the girl maybe has less education and also depends on their orientation.. Anyway Filipinos are romantic and very caring… we have a very strong relationship with our family especially to our parents. it’s like thinking that if it weren’t for them we won’t be here.. I’m sure you’ll also find many foreigners who married Filipino women, who are quite happy and satisfied with their married life. so for those who are planning to find a Filipina partner, you should get to know her well first especially her family and you should have a BIG heart because you might not only be marrying one person but her family as well.

  42. I married an absolutely amazing Filipina , and we help her family every month . Any expat that is interested in a filipina needs to know this going into the relationship. I personally love helping the family , they are amazing people and have become my family. They truely appreciate the help that we give them . If a guy is not interested in family then he needs to move on to another culture but i am telling you that in my experiences there is nothing better then the family bonds that we gain 🙂

  43. This video is both informative and embarrassing (unfortunately)! Whether Filipinos admit it or not, these women tarnishes the image of all Filipinas because it becomes the basis of generalizations and stereotypes! In addition, I also “pity” some people who loves generalizing and stereotyping Filipinas based on a few they’ve met. Mind you, there are a lot of Filipinas who are far more educated and who have far more money than foreign men who visits the country just so they can marry a Filipina from a dirt poor family – who would become the basis of their impression on all Filipinas – in general. Please!!!! The level of ignorance of some people is overwhelming!!!! Living in a 1st world country and having lots of credit card is not a manifestation of wealth, it’s just fancy way of saying you don’t have cash/money!

    1. +Gabrielle E Lots of credit and membership cards is also happening nowadays in the Philippines for the shopping craze ! They have at least 3 costco type of wholesale outlet for bargain hunters.

  44. It´s nice to watch your vids from time to time.
    Since I´m married to a Cebuana for – almost – ten years I can confirm your observations.
    What I like most is your very considerate approach to the local culture.
    I may not agree 100% with everything you said in all your vids but possibly 95% … 😉

    There´s one saying that I always remember when dealing with my wife: You can easily take the girl out of the Philippines but you´ll never get the Philippines out of your girl (and that includes the attitudes/customs/responsibilities that come with her)

  45. The problem with most Filipino parents who are on poverty level, bears more children more than they can afford. Children and their education
    suffers most. Parents are to blame with this cycle of poverty. In provinces where young women are forced to work abroad as a maid or sort
    to get married to old expats because parents instill in their children’s mind the responsibility to support them and the siblings. They used their
    children as an INVESTMENT. Sorry and sad. But that is the truth.

  46. just my 2 cents

    The culture of making your children care for you is one reason why the philippines is a third world country and doesn’t progress. people are always working on the past and not the future.

    If you are going to marry a pinay you should discuss in great detail (before you decide to make it official) what you will and will not do, and what your future goals are. if she wants to help her family let her work and send $400-$500 USD back home every month and then save the rest of her salary for herself. $400 USD should be plenty enough to help her family in most cases.

    She may have been the only or main source of their income before you found her, so make sure you aren’t taking that away from them.

    Help her understand you are trying to build a family also and though her parents needs matter, you are now a part of her family and you need to keep that afloat first. you can always work together to help her parents within reason.

    As a reminder most marriages in the US fail and it’s mostly cause of financial problems. You do not want to let your own ship sink while putting out the fire on another.

    If she has brothers and sisters ensure they are doing their part and everyone isn’t relying on you because I hear the family can become reliant on receiving her/your money and not work at all. Then they start asking for more and more and lying saying they have emergencies and need money when they dont.

    1. am sorry about that… book came in front of you. lol!
      anyways, in everything there’s always an exception right?! perhaps 90% could be at the rotten page but then again there is 10% who are at the right side.
      The more you explore the more you meet the right person… people who are educated will understand more and live always in reality.
      So glad to hear that you are at right hand with your gf. Just keep the communication and make God the center of your relationship, and surely you’ll always be at the right path.J
      Till next time… and don’t forget my invitation on your wedding day! lol

    2. +daryne11 thanks for your reply, I understand I get talking sometimes and suddenly I have a book in front of me. I have a feeling this will be long lol.

      You seem to understand this situation well. The reason I initially posted was because I have been in a long distance relationship with my Filipina girlfriend and I was initially nervous about getting into a relationship cause of all the scam stories. but after being with her since August 2015 and religiously video/voice chatting with each other. every day 2-3 hours in the morning and 2-3 hours in the evening and even more on the weekend, and then now knowing she is invested in making this work, I don’t worry anymore.

      She has spent 10 years in Thailand teaching English at a Christian school in the country side and she is a very kind hearted woman and I am very lucky to have found her. It was tough for us both at first because of cultural differences but we work good together… very good actually.

      I’ve talked to a few other Filipinas before her and they were very difficult to talk to, and both required insane amounts of money to be sent home if we dated and she came here.

    3. +Shaun P Patterson

      Hi Shaun, that’s kinda tough one
      though it rings the bell! As I said there should be a widely program to educate
      everyone specially in getting married and it’s not just educating people but
      implementing what has been taught.

      Well, first of all getting
      married must be planned and once you have decided to get married it means you
      opted to stand on your own and build your own family. So everything is
      organized, even when wife gets pregnant, bring the baby and work again…

      Concerning parents support, surely
      parents will understand the situation that their children must focus on their
      chosen lives and surely they are capable of supporting themselves too otherwise
      how did they managed to raised their children (whom now married and started
      their own family) if they couldn’t support themselves? And if really they are
      old enough to work, children can “payback” through looking at them but not
      necessarily giving 100% of what they have and if there are siblings they could
      also play their part and shouldn’t be only the child who eventually married
      foreigner will support them.

      To have an
      agreement between a filipina and a foreigner in setting the limitation on how
      much she has to draw for her family monthly is something that shouldn’t be
      discussed between them I guess but,  the
      Filipina itself to let her parents let them understand the situation and set a
      limitation with her family of their monthly allowance considering that the
      money she will sending to her parents will be FROM HER OWN SALARY and not from
      her husband’s money…. Why would the foreigner husband would take responsibility
      of his in laws???! Did you marry the parents or the daughter????!

      Or else sign a
      pre-nup agreement! lol

      I am the
      breadwinner of the family and still single but I set myself budgeting on to my
      parents expenses including their medical maintenance and still keep some savings
      for me, preparing life plan or an retirement plan and all these must be
      understood by the family. If for instance I am earning USD 2000 per month do I have
      to send them 75% of my salary?! Of course not! It’s not getting frugal here or
      selfish but securing my future as well. Thus this practice must be same when
      you get married no matter if you marry a local (fellow Filipino) or a
      foreigner.

      This is something
      that people should understand. But the thing is no body want to work to earn
      and no one want to suffer for the sake of earning to live. People want QUICK
      MONEY and instantly on to the so called, “rich and pa-sosyal world” trending in
      the country.

      And to sum of
      your budgeting, yes USD 200 is more than enough to cover 2 members of the family
      including their monthly bills. Considering that we are talking about parents
      here to support on who are really not on to lavish lifestyle specially if
      the  family are living in provinces or
      village…

      I will tell you
      what?! Parents’ love their children so much that  they will do and give everything they have
      once they see their children in such situation specially mothers. What I am
      trying to say is that if you send a fortune to Philippines, it’s like you sending
      money also for the siblings which is not necessary and introducing them to
      depend on you…

      There’s nothing wrong
      to help but there is a huge difference on helping and lending money caused by
      an emergency. Helping people should always have limitation so as lending money
      to others. Some asked for financial aid 10x more than they could afford to pay.
      And in order to avoid that what I do is that if it’s an emergency and someone
      asked to borrow let’s say USD 500, I won’t say no but I’ll give them always an
      option that I could only give USD 50 and that wouldn’t worry me much if they
      pay or not which all knows that it won’t be paid anyway.

      and loving our
      family is not  to let them take both of
      your helping hands and let them leave you with NOTHING, but push them to stand
      on their own and be independent. Money is money, it come and go most of all
      once you spend, that’s it! It can also EARN though if you wanted to….

    4. Well said @daryne11​​, my problem is take this for example. If two Filipinos who’s family’s are of equal social and financial status get married which parent do they support? And how do they support themselves? They really can’t especially if the couple gets pregnant. They both end up staying at their parents house and their families help with the kids while the couple works. That’s how a few Filipino couples I know had to do it.

      Idk I guess I’m over thinking that situation.

      Anyways my thoughts are if you are going to marry a foreigner instead of someone from your country don’t treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet just because you have a little more money, you should be marrying someone for love not money. Before any commitments are made both partners need to come to an agreement as to how much, if any is the limit you will give his/her family monthly or annually.

      People need to remember 1 USD equals about 46.67 Filipino Pasos And the average filipino can make anywhere from 100 pasos to 500 pasos a day depending on their job and location. That’s roughly $2.14 to $10.76 USD a day.

      You don’t need to be sending a fortune back to the Philippines to be helping his/her family. If you send $200 every month that’s enough for almost 2 family member s to sit on their ass and not do anything. Many will keep asking and hassling your partner to send more and lying about emergencies to get you to send more. I feel sorry for the guys who get those Filipinas families. I still think the government can do a lot to help the country but they dont

  47. Take Hong Kong for example. In the past, the Filipinos who went there were mostly from elite families. They all have local maids and servants working for them.Communication barrier arose because the locals could not even know how to pronounce their long names.Starting from Dr Jose Rizal who started his eye clinic there follow by the first president of the Philippines , Emilio Aguinaldo , and other political exiles from the Spaniard colonial government who were paid a very handsome amount P200,000 in those days by the Spanish for them to go on exile.There were lots of young local men went to the Philippines in the 1930’s to study dentistry and even medicine. Philippines was the second or third richest in Asia in those days before 1946.What a tough price to pay by most Filipinos after their independence.

  48. It’s a part of our culture to look back where we came from. We can’t just leave our parents and siblings if we can do something for them and they needed our help. We are happy to help our relatives and you can’t pay with money for that happiness. I agree that if you marry a Filipina let her work if she wants to help her family. If it’s in my situation,if I married with a foreigner I will do something just to help my relatives by not depending with my husband. It is nice to live if you are wealthy with love from your husband and family rather than being wealthy in material things.

    1. +LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Exactly! We also know some family who are greedy to take advantage but please don’t think all are same like them.

    2. +Ana Catherine Bastian i honestly am ashamed of western men who actually complain about giving assistance to his new in-law parents. for one thing, if he loves his filipina wife then they should become important to him because she is (supposedly) important to him. for another thing, most in-law parents are not asking for much in the way of support. i know expats who spend more in beer per month than what they are willing to give their wife’s parents. they think nothing of buying an expensive wide-screen television for themselves.. but cry because she wants to give 1,000p to her parents for food. that is shame on his part. i believe such men see marriage from a perspective of Selfishness. they are not marrying a woman to make her life better. they are marrying her for what they get from her. this is why her parents are seen by such men as nothing but an added ‘burden’. when dating a foreigner, i wish more filipinas would look at a man’s heart towards her parents before making any long-term plans with him. if he’s selfish in the beginning, he will only get worse after marriage.

  49. Just know what you’re getting into and lay down the rules before saying “I do”. He makes clear his limits and expectations, and she does the same. If things get twisted, the relationship is possibly built on a lie and inevitably doomed if so. These things can be more simple than they’re made out to be. There’s no need to deceive; that’s just a bad situation waiting to happen for both of them.

  50. I’m a pretty young guy, blessed to have a job that allowed me to travel.  I dated 2 Filipina’s and had many friends I talked with.  I even own a condo there (which is for sale now).  Here is the problem, and hate me all you want for saying this. 

    A)  If you try the method of funding a business, example (store) or (jeepney+route) or (bed&breakfast) (Piggary)  It will fail !  They don’t want a business….they don’t want to work.  I’m not trying to be rude…that’s just how it is !

    B)  Your woman will be the sweetest woman in the world…as long as the money is coming.  The minute you can’t fund something…you become a total jerk.  The sweet side you thought she had….will vanish.  She will become just like those Western White women you wanted to escape from.  

    I’ll give you a sample background of mine.  I first came to Philippines as a US Soldier deployed there.  (Yes we have many soldiers fighting their war for them)  While deployed down there I did fall in love with the nice friendly people.  Filipino people are great !  So I learned their language while deployed (but I DO NOT tell anybody this when visiting) 

    So here is what happened.  I’m dating this beautiful Pinay, 3 years younger than me.  I’m looking for a serious relationship that can become a marriage.  Long story short…I took her and her whole family out to a beach.  Her family is in the water swimming with me.  In their native tongue they said “I wonder how much money he has, I think its funny how he says he is not rich, but I know he is rich.  I bet he makes plenty of money as a soldier.”  Well I couldn’t hold it in…I told him I heard everything he said.  Her brothers then started blushing very hard.   I told my girl friend about what her brothers said….instead of being embarrassed of her family….she told me to shut up.  I wanted to smooth things over so I just dropped it.  Then she asked me to give her family a 400/month salary If we are married. I felt heart broken that this beautiful girl I wanted to marry…was negotiating with me as If I’m at a car dealership.    

    I gotta be honest with you….it was the biggest turn-off ever.  So here is what ended up happening to me.  I came back to America, and accidently bumped into an American-born Filipina !  She had her own house and job.  She believed in contributing money to OUR family.  She loves me because she WANTS to be with me.  Not because she NEEDS to be with me.  She is not dependent upon me…and I don’t depend upon her.  Yes granted she is not the very young and beautiful island girl….she has that “American weight on her” hahaha.  However I don’t care, I will not trade my small wealth for beauty&youth….because in the end, I am cheating myself out of true love.

    1. +LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines well basically, if you met a woman of any raise who can pay her bills, own a house, drive a car, and have a stable job, she doesn’t need your money instead a lasting love and loyalty… that’s the logic of it…

    2. +Dark Vctry Any marriage and relationship is about the two who can truely devoted to each other.It is not only about dependency though it has some role to play in it but the unconditional devotion to one another no matter how life will take is the key for any sustainable relationship.The right one will come along. The most important is be who you are.

    3. +Dark Vctry Any marriage and relationship is about the two who can truely devoted to each other.It is not only about dependency though it has some role to play in it but the unconditional devotion to one another no matter how life will take is the key for any sustainable relationship.The right one will come along. The most important is be who you are.

  51. we don’t call it a tribute or responsibility or task…It’s called Love..whether they been a good or bad parents…I’m sorry if any of here don’t understand that but we’re happy we don’t bring our old’s or parents in Home -for-the-aged facilities and let others take care of them…

  52. If you marry a filipina you are marrying the entire family. That is a fact! I know a lad here who built 2 houses for the family, and when the inlaws wanted money for hospital bills he declines….He said I have no more money , just sell one house. They ignored him and complained he does not want to help as a gossip

  53. Every Filipina that I have ever met is by far better at budgeting than almost anyone else. I share 50/50 with my fiance. It’s a matter of trust for me. As a matter of fact she has never even once asked me for money, she has her own job. But she doesn’t even ask for anything for special occasions either. Maybe I am lucky and got a rare one. But I believe it’s more common. But for all those others, I believe your right on Reekay on this video. Good Job!

  54. I disagree with you. What you are saying is the same stereotype used with Chinese and Mongolian girls. I been there, and dated asian girls before, I know all this shit already.

  55. Why is the Philippines a poor country when other Asian countries are not ? And if the Philippines is a very poor country , why do they have so many children? In America most families have 2 children

    1. it also depends on why you are there and where you go . If you are there to party or get laid then you are in the red light areas or towns set up to provide basically just that. Of course you will find backstabbing people out for themselves because… the people that go there taught them that because they are the exact same thing. In the Navy I have met many honorable folks from the PI and men are great sailors. They are NOT the lazy you describe they are dedicated hard working professionals and the women in their lives are the same. If you want a good woman get away from the bar scene. Go to the countryside, meet them in a zoo, in a park in a church. On a farm. In a business. I know of great women who are self-employed and have great ethics. Jan, for instance, is a hard working woman with an export business. She is dedicated and hard working and thoughtful and always wanting to make the most of everything including relationships. Yes there is poverty but poverty does not make a human less of a human and if you honestly think it does then it explains exactly why you believe the way you do. One can also be known by the company they keep. Best to you and take no offense just making observations of life issues after a lifetime of travel and experience. Going on 60 soon and have been enriched and fulfilled by these people you feel are less just because their lifestyle is different than yours. Many around the world would look at American lifestyle and be glad they are not caught in that rat race of impersonal things and goals that have no meaning beyons acquiring stuff….

    2. I guess you are right, there are few good ones. I have a cat so i always respect what cat lovers have to say:). I have met maybe 2 filipinos out of 40 that i can say were good people. The problem is that most filipinos are not good so it becomes hard to trust them or even to accept that some might be good. I never have this suspicious behavior when i meet someone of another nationality even though of course there can be bad in all nationalities. I have dated filipina girls and i cant ever seem to go further with them because i feel i can’t trust them because the stigma of their culture is so strong.

    3. Unfortunately, even the good ones start to show their true colors after knowing them for sometime. That has been my experience. This is how i can summarize Filipinas or Filipinos in general. Greedy, unsophisticated, ungenuine, jealous, very cold despite the fake smiles, will look for easiest way to get ahead including flirtation, back stabbing, stealing, lying. I guess the term never trust a filipina didn’t wasn’t created by accident.

    4. majority of Filipino males are lazy, hard work ethic does not exists with this population like you find in other asian countries, this is why it is easier for them to just prostitute their sisters or daughters out.

    5. It all comes down to religion. The Spaniards brought Catholicism. Catholics are steadfast against contraceptives and abortions. The other Asian countries aren’t majority Catholic like the Philippines. They are Buddhist and Buddhist aren’t so hell bent against abortions and contraceptives as Catholics. Buddhist view on abortion is something to be taken seriously but it is a personal choice but it is permitted. If you kill the baby for no good reason just for selfish reason you will bring bad karma to yourself. If the baby is known that it has some kind of horrible condition that will bring it much pain and suffering then that is a good reason to abort and you won’t receive any bad karma and should not feel wrong for saving the child from a harsh life and they will be reborn hopefully at better circumstance in their next life. They don’t make laws prohibiting it. They allow free will and you will have to live with the decisions you make and any possible bad karma into your next life. Also the government in the Philippines are one of the most corrupt like in many South American countries. This corruption hurts businesses and law abiding citizens as many of the people that can leave will leave somewhere less corrupt and with more opportunities. So the only one stuck there are the poor or those who abuse and take advantage of the poor. They can’t make money or business but they can make children. Children while being a burden is seen as an future investment. They prefer girls so they can marry them off to rich older men. Girls can make more babies which means more human slave trafficking to sell. Sons they can’t marry off so nobody wants sons. This isn’t true of the whole country of course. Mostly the very poor and destitute.

  56. I have to laugh as I came across this video again. About 18 months ago I started a serious quest to gain as much info as I could on the Philippines. I had very little knowledge and also thought the Phils was a single island. I wish I had a dollar for every video I’ve watched over this time but this video here was THE very first one that I ever watched . I remember thinking giving family support was kind of interesting though a bit unusual. LOL. Then I thought to myself, “and just who is this American dude named Reekay” ???? LOL Your channel and a couple others have been very helpful for someone trying to get a feel for the culture and people as much as they can via the internet.

  57. you have ur own mind.. ur old enough to think what is right or wrong.. if u dont like.. then dont! the only one thing u did that because ur crazy inlove with that filipina! they cannot do anything or hurt you if u say “no” its the girl u marry not the family.. u helping them even if u dont mean it by heart… so you are the PROBLEM!

  58. Hey henry,remember me posting my comments here some time back.
    i just found out from the mouth of my ex gf brother that her family really did scam and cheated my entire savings of SGD 25,000.
    The brother even called me “gago”.
    And this woman even nw got herself engage to an very old American man.
    so nw i hope he will start to receive calls from them on asking for money every nw and then.
    as for me,im done with her and nw happily having my new filipina gf.
    Thanks for sharing henry.

  59. My wife is the youngest of 10 children but the only one who worked as an OFW and married to a foreigner. Her mother passed away serveral years ago but her dad is a very poor small scale rice farmer. Each month I give him grocerys and around 1,500 pisos for his pocket money. He is very happy with that as his Daughter….now my wife are the only ones that really cared enough to help him much at all. He has a daughter that lives much closer then we do that is doing well for herself but doesn’t help at all.

  60. What a bunch of whinging idiots on here.This guy is right. Look you haters,my girlfriend is 38 and lives in Cebu.Since she was 18 she has worked in the same factory,supporting her parents.She has been working six days a week 12 hours a day,lately they have told all workers they must do an extra hour,or risk being sacked.You don’t get it you stupid knockers.The parents are poor you clowns.This is not America or Australia here,where they just give you a pension.I do not like her working there,she will not accept my wage out of pride,I will look at a business there instead. Wake the hell up!!

  61. the problem is they have no social security system there or welfare system there so they have to look out for them . But i can see helping and just feeding them money

  62. thanks for your thoughtful videos and clear thinking. this response is for several people that are just uninformed and leave comments that have no baisis in reality or cleaar thinking, for those that put down this culture thinking it so far beneath theirs….
    it also depends on why you are there and where you go . If you are there to party or get laid then you are in the red light areas or towns set up to provide basically just that. Of course you will find backstabbing people out for themselves because… the people that go there taught them that because they are the exact same thing. In the Navy I have met many honorable folks from the PI and men are great sailors. They are NOT the lazy you describe they are dedicated hard working professionals and the women in their lives are the same. If you want a good woman get away from the bar scene. Go to the countryside, meet them in a zoo, in a park in a church. On a farm. In a business. I know of great women who are self-employed and have great ethics. Jan, for instance, is a hard working woman with an export business. She is dedicated and hard working and thoughtful and always wanting to make the most of everything including relationships. Yes there is poverty but poverty does not make a human less of a human and if you honestly think it does then it explains exactly why you believe the way you do. One can also be known by the company they keep. Best to you and take no offense just making observations of life issues after a lifetime of travel and experience. Going on 60 soon and have been enriched and fulfilled by these people you feel are less just because their lifestyle is different than yours. Many around the world would look at American lifestyle and be glad they are not caught in that rat race of impersonal things and goals that have no meaning beyons acquiring stuff….

    1. i’d call it love. if my mom needed full-time care and my brother couldn’t do it, i’d leave the PH to be there for her. to me, parents are high priority.

  63. Hi I understand about family I’m married to a filipina she’s from the Dumagete area. She has two older and 3 younger brothers and sisters. My wife and I live in the USA and one of her sisters lives in USA. One is a police officer in dumaguete he has his own family live out side the home. But one sister has two master degrees and dose voluntary work for the city like her mom. The other 3 kids ages 22 24 40 live at home and posting on Facebook all the trips they do with there friends. And my wife put everyone through college. But the three siblings are all adults one has 3 kids his wife is a teacher but the other 3 kids don’t work why. We built a home next door to them we come twice a year for a month. The father is retired teacher they have a house But don’t understand how can the kids help mom and dad if they can’t support them self? They say they applied for work permits to work on abroad we paid for it but been almost a year and still waiting. We don’t mind helping out. But when will the kids take some responsibility for life?

    1. i can understand not supporting her bros/sisters. but why not her parents? there is no social security net for the elderly in the PH. they depend on help from their kids.

  64. There’s a big difference between a son/daughter sharing the responsibility with their family, of looking after and “honouring” parents, and that of you being the big fat Western buffalo 🐃 paying a disproportionate amount to take care of parents that aren’t yours. It’s not your responsibility, anyway, it’s their child’s. I guess, you either accept the culture in Asia or you don’t, but don’t let yourself be exploited, you and your partner shouldn’t pay anymore than another sibling…

  65. I like your videos. Have been watching many of them. Think maybe you were social worker in past coz your very enlightened. But this video…..NOT. Don’t see you with pinay wife thus your not talking from experience as far as i know. I’m married 14 years to filipina. Yes its true when you marry, you marry the whole family. But that has no value untill your in it. Sent two sisters thru college to no avail. Just sit around waiting for that welfare check to come in twice a month from us.They now have all things like we do here, ie flat screen, internet, running hot water, washing machine, cable t.v. dvd player ,laptops, stove/oven, refer etc. Got to be to point causing lots of fights with wife and i. LBC. boxes always too.The only way to fix prob. was we split our finances as to have a somewhat marrige still. So i take care of agreed bills every month and she does too and part of hers is her family. We do this every month year after year and it works fine. Now i don’t stress about her fam. coz its her money so she can send whatever she wants. B.T.W. ..Still waiting for that check twice a month. Two kids with college degree. One offered free college but turned it down. One popping out babies like pez dispenser. Everyone lives with mom of course. No one has jobs or looks for one. Had sari sari store but ran it to the ground twice. Filipinas are GENERALY lazy for most part of what i have seen.If i married a mexican, most assuredly the siblings would do whatever to make money.

    1. Thanx for the reply. Since they all live with mom, well…..you can figure the rest out. I thought in the beginning putting them thru school would be an investment. Boy was i wrong. Now my wife and i have both learned. The arangement works well now for me. Have a great day.

    2. i advocate supporting the parents, not the entire family. as i’ve said so many times before… helping her fulfull her obligation to her parents is the right thing to do. anything beyond that is on a case by case basis, without obligation. from what you shared, it sounds like you had no limits in place and money was squandered. only later did you then leave it up to her to handle caring for her parents and extended family. but supporting the parents is what i have been saying. NOT the entire family of siblings and their kids.

  66. Question: as a foreigner, does getting married to a Philippine woman, in the Philippines, differ from getting married, in say Canada, as far as getting a divorce goes ? Re- No divorce laws in Philippines ?

  67. helping family is culture here philippines
    Filipino is family oriented,they cannot turned back their family in need unless she come from wealthy family.family is always in top unlike other country their culture ,once they’re marriage they’re no longer responsible to their parents,most foreigner men complaint if the wife/gf (filipina) sending aid/money to their families..? i heard
    Westerners country they abandon their parents(old) tht’s why a lot pilipina caregiver work western countries!!
    if we discuss family matter we are so weak and easy to cry😢here🇵🇭
    other foreigner nver understand tht🙂they think supporting family is after their own money😔or racist!

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