Having A Dating PLAN for the Philippines

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  1. Your honesty is great!! I am a straight American girl and i appreciate the fact that you give fair and responsible dating advice that way nobody will feel used or hurt!! Good job po!! 🙂

  2. Lmao it’s like going to a grocery store . Classic . I wouldn’t have that problem I’m married . I think the biggest issue is moving there with my 2 young boys. Ya no up rooting them from the states . Not sure if its a good move to do that . Any thoughts on that or advice .

  3. Well, I can only give my own 2 pesos, for what it’s worth.. I have 3 sons and a daughter and me coming to the PH was purely my desire. They were already adults over 21 when I came here and not one said, “Oh.. I’ll go too.” ha! Some people bring their kids here to get away from the materialism of the US, get back to a more conservative schooling system, etc. Others feel their kids have better opportunities staying in the States. Schools are better, I believe. It’s a personal call for each.

  4. Thanks. 🙂 The way I see it.. the ‘good girls’ have it hard enough without adding false promises to the mix just so some guy can ‘get some’. Meanwhile, lots of other girls here who are willing to hit-n-run with no bad feelings about it. So.. why go breaking hearts needlessly? No need for it. Maybe us Western men are just so used to having to ‘connive’ our way into a woman’s pants and we bring that bad habit with us. : / But it’s not necessary here.

  5. Yep.. and I’ve run into that. We had a meeting of the minds but while her mouth is saying, “I understand”, her mind and heart are thinking, “I’ll change his mind.” And yes, it does get ugly when they realize you’re off with some other girl the next weekend. But at least they got the fair warning, they really can’t say they were “lead on” in any way because they were told up-front.. this is not ‘dating’.. this is not a ‘relationship’.

  6. Great advice Henry, that can save a lot of grief on both sides. The Filipina will not want to share you that is why they need to know where you are coming from in the beginning.

  7. That I know of, a pre-nup can be drawn up by an attorney here so that it conforms to local law. If you want a divorce though, you’ll have to do it in your own country since there is no divorce here in the Philippines. As for her, she can’t divorce you unless she does it in your home country.

  8. one of the hardest things about third world living is not the culture shock; it is about the reality that many around you were never taught to think, never taught to listen and one is not accountable for what they say. educ was/is merely social control and not educ. thus, you are behind the eight ball even before you wake up. the horror stories abound. noteworthy, one’s inner ethics are not their own, but the ethics of the ambient environment; and deceit is salient to the cultural synthesis.

  9. Another outstanding video. It’s important to use the same common sense when “dating” in the PH as you would anywhere else. RULE ONE, of course, you do not let her know where you are living until you know her really well. Pinays are HUGE drama queens and you don’t want some crazy bitch stalking you at your own pad. Like Henry said, be very honest. More and more men are getting smart and staying away from marriage. There’s absolutely not need to be coy about who you are and what your

  10. and what your intentions are. There are sooooooo many stunningly beautiful Pinays that you will have no problem finding one that is down with your program. DO NOT be in a hurry. Unless you have known her for 5 years, you haven’t known her long enough to make any serious plans.

  11. You can get a pre-nup but they have an “anti-dummy law” that means the court will almost always say you took advantage of a Filipino and find in their favor. (yeah they really call it that).

  12. I doubt there is one answer for either question. I’ve only talked to one Filipina about facial hair, she wasn’t into it because when food gets caught in it she found it disgusting. Filipinos are very much into hygiene as a rule. As for long hair, maybe they make an exception for Foreigners, but most every Filipino male I’ve seen here with long hair is either a part or full time ladyboy. Just something to keep in mind as far as how you might be perceived. 🙂

  13. Henry hope you’r OK.. I know Bohol took a big 7.1 whack.. what i read about your profile coming from the inland empire and next to the san andreas fault. .. Let us know how you are and show us some videos how people coping. communication lines are down i’m sure..

  14. It’s called the Western Union Remittance sindrome.. there are subversions of that known as MonyGram and a major favorite LBC sindrome.. it’s running completely rampant through all inhabitable islands. only mortal that can save it is ” hey Joe ” or a local long term vacation person known as OFWs..

    1. I’ll have to find out what Leykis’ position is all about.  People have mentioned it before but I’m not familiar with it.

  15. Some of your best advice right here.. I got off of filipino-cupid online because of some of your other advice. But the hard part is, getting off the plane-alone and no idea where to take a cab in order to find a cheap place to rent in the jungle. Not like I am going to ask a cabby, “Hey, take me deep in the jungle because things are better there” 

    1. The best thing to do, before arriving, is get to know some expats already planted in the islands you’re interested in.  Facebook seems to have better expat Groups than the Yahoo or other forums.  Join a group of expats on facebook, get to know some guys and most are willing to help steer you in the right direction.  Trusting a woman who may or may not have ulterior motives is not the only option.  🙂

  16. Hi Henry,
    Generally good advice.
    Here’s my 2 cents worth of additions.

    Forget online stuff altogether. If you think you need to establish a “relationship” before you arrive in the Fils, realize that online is not going to accomplish that, reguardless of the occasional success that others might have. You need face to face time. Call it a mixture of pheromones if you will.

    Also if you think an online start up will work and you come to the Fils to meet this person and can only spend 2~3 weeks here getting to “know each other” that’s not going to work. 

    I would reccomend a minimum initial stay of 6 months. Without prior expectations you are free to get to know the Fils and the people here and to get a feel of the place before you dive into a commitment of any kind.

    Avoid the big cities like Manila, Angeles, Cebu City and Davao.
    If you want a real long term relationship, do not go to the bars or kareoke bars and be very cautious of the big malls. However people watching in the malls is great fun and can be very entertaining as well as providing you with some much needed education. If you are so naive that you cannot spot the “pros” working the malls then exercise great caution with everyone you meet.

    Never accept invitations from anyone you do not know. I am talking about invitations that require you to leave the very public place that you are in at the moment, in order to go to a very private place like someone’s house or any other out of the way place.

    Avoid taxi driver “recommendations” to meet anyone.

    As always there are those who have had success in finding someone in those places under adverse conditions, but the odds are against you. So why play one number on the roulette wheel when the odds are far better at the craps table, where you stand on the sidelines watch the action and bet with the winning player.

    If a woman early in the initial phase of “getting to know” each other, in anyway asks for money, espescially if the plea is accomanied by a sob story or even if it is seemingly just jeepney fare, walk away…fast.

    Never meet for the first time at night, in a bar or out of the way restaurant. Insist on meeting in daylight hours only, somewhere around noon and in a very big, very public place. This is where malls work to your advantage. BTW if she wants to bring A “friend” along that is usually a good sign. But if she brings an entourage with her, walk away…fast.

    Do not try to impress anyone with your “flash stuff”. Do not wear it or show it off in any way. Just being a foreign man is plenty “flash” enough all by itself. Dress neat and clean but not expensively. Leave the Rolex and pinky rings at home. You can get the time from your cheapy cell phone.

    I suggest that you buy the cheapest cell phone you can, usually around P600~P800, from a store, not a sidewalk seller. There are many different makes available. Sim card say P30~P40, initial load say P100. BTW if your prospective says she does not have her own phone DO NOT BUY HER ONE. Walk away…fast. Everyone in the Fils has a cell phone.(Well almost everyone). If she truely does not have her own then her finacial situation is very desperate, so walk away…fast.

    Do not carry a wallet, this is a magnet. Do not carry any plastic unless you need to go to an ATM. Do not carry large amounts of cash. Fortunately many ATMs dispense P500 notes instead of P1,000 notes. Generally do not carry more than P2,000 with you and in as small a size of bills as you can. P200,P100, P50 and P20 are much preferred. To hold it all together I use a cheap clip I bought from an office supply store. Keep your phone and plastic in seperate pockets as the electrical field from the phone might disrupt the data in the magnetic strip on your plastic.

    Get a safety purse or wallet. I made mine from heavy duty synthetic fabric with a small diameter SS wire inserted during assembly. The wire has two loops through which I feed my belt. I carry my safety wallet inside my shorts. It is big enough to carry a wad a cash, plastic and my passport.

    Otherwise while your are sitting there, where ever there is, making your plans to come here do as much research as you can before coming AND take notes. Put them in a small note book. This will be your bible after you get here.

    Take care and enjoy the adventure.
    P.S. Yes, I have made almost every one of these mistakes.

    1. All sounds like great advice.  I would however buy the cheapest smart phone available.  That way you could use whatsapp and save on texting costs.  Since smart phones are so cheap now, the savings in being able to use whatsapp to msg would more than make up for the price difference.

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