Finding Balance in the Philippines, Part 2of2

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43 comments

  1. Two of your best video’s i have seen so far. The big thing for me was the ability to relax and just enjoy the culture and the people. having seen these 2 video’s i can now relate better to the woman i wish to marry. Thanks for all your work.

    1. Thanks, glad to be of any help.  I keep telling people, “It’s a whole other world here.” in the PH.  There’s no other way to put it.  I am so much more relaxed and content with the pace there than I am in the US.

  2. Another great video ! Sounds like the Philippines is a great place to retire for someone wanting a more relaxed way of life. Thanks for all of your informative videos on life in the Philippines. Hope your’e having a good time with your family & friends in California. Have a safe trip back to the Philippines.

    1. It’s been good to see my children and Mother.  My holiday in Calif will be about 4 months and then I look forward to returning to the PH for new adventures.  🙂

  3. I agree, there are good and bad people everywhere.  One thing that has to be considered is that Asians think differently than Americans.  This is a major difference.  How they approach life and others.  For example, the level of poverty is horrible there, and there are so many woman who are looking for “rich” Americans.  I am sure there are woman who aren’t like that, but my friend has story after story of this happening.  One of my friends retired to the Philippines and is having a terrific time.  As for myself, i don’t know if it would be the kind of place i would like.  

    1. Why is American always think that Filipina Women always looking for a rich American. I found out and I have been in U.S. 40 years . and I found out people in America is more or less like in Phil. they have so many poor people here too. I meet my husband his family was poorer than my family and my husband was the only in his Family that  finished High School and went to College . and most my Family sister a brother went to College.. So is like any family…or Country…

  4. Hi Henry, my first wife was a traditional  Mexican experience in Ca. I picked  tomatoes with the family for money. She hand  made tortillas ect. When you have time, would  you compare traditional mexican and Philippians women. Butch

    1. My ex-wife was born and raised in Tijuana, a lovely woman.  I met her after she’d lived in Calif awhile but she didn’t speak English so I learned Spanish.  We made a lot of trips to Mexico over the years, usually 2 or 3 times a month to visit family or get stuff for our business.  I’d say that Mexican women are far more ‘Americanized’ than Filipinas still living in the PH.  They don’t seem so quick to just leap into marriage with an American, from my observations over a decade in and out of Mexico.

  5. met filipina 2008, met her 3 times in metro, did all the legal work, married nov’09, go back for a month here and there, simple easy life, only thing i need is to live like filipino, help who i can, but not as much as we do when we visit, need to adjust my ways, sorry cant hand out to everyone we meet hope i can adjust, could write a book on life there, maybe soon i will start, thanks for vids

  6. Really interesting perspective and explanation Henry.  I’m really looking forward to the contrast in culture and hope it will add some missing pieces to the puzzle for me as well … when I finally take the plunge and visit / move there.  Thanks for all the insight and intellect Reekay … you are quite an inspiration to me.

  7. Very insightful piece. After nearly six years of marriage to a Filipina (we live in Southern California) with plans to relocate to the Philippines, probably sometime next year, I have percieved and experience this difference many times but never really articulated it. Thanks for giving words to something that, I’m sure, many have felt.

  8. I read a blog about a man who retired to the Philippines he expressed how peaceful and relax he became after moving there. The years proceeding his move to the Philippines he have a drug and drinking problem and smoking cigarettes etc. But after he move to the Philippines he said he didn’t feel the need for all this past vices.

  9. Absolutely one of the best arguments for living in the Philippines. Those who attempt to hold on to the western mind set here will be constantly frustrated. Just curious how bad was the culture shock upon your return to the US? Everytime I go back, I suffer culture shock in my own land while I feels so much more at home in the P.I.

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Hi Henry, I just read your last two articles on the LBTS website. My compliments. I had initially criticized some of your thoughts posted earlier in your youtube videos but I have enjoyed watching as you grow and learn in your expat experience. The Philippines is a wonderful place for those disposed toward an expat lifestyle but as your experience evolves so does your outlook. Caution is the watchword here but as you have noted it is incorrect to paint everyone with a broad brush. (Interestingly enough that broad brush seems to end up in the hands of expats and locals alike with truth being the first casualty.)

    2. Yah, I’ve been getting updates from Bohol..  still more rain until Friday.  I don’t even notice the heat unless i’m walking in the city during midday.

    3. I’m set to fly back to PH end of Feb.  Only 7 weeks to go.  Seeing my family and friends has been the only highlight of my visit to the States.  Nothing else here I care for anymore aside from family.

    4. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Will be going back to the US for 90 days in March. Other than seeing the kids, I’m not really looking forward to it. WHen are you headed back?

    1. For us Americans, it’s tough with the economy the way it is.  For Filipinos, it’s been tough for a long time.  But for an American living in the Philippines with a decent income.. life is pretty good.  

  10. Very true, trying to openly analyse everything can lead to a lack of compassion, it’s not good for relationships either. The more I travel between Phil and my western home, the more aware of this I become. You are right, travelling throughout Philippines you notice a greater level of compassion in the people. The lack of compassion that one encounters in some people back home is sad and even laughable.

  11. Interesting way you use the male/female paradigm Henry. Likely there is something to that. I am chewing on it. I often think of the differences as a philosophical difference.   I was always taught if  statement A is true, then then not A is false…kind of a binary or Cartesian logic.  I always liked that way of thinking and believed that as my kind of philosophy. Not suprising  growing up in a conservative Republican home and having nine years of math and science in college.  In the Philippians it almost seems like if you get statement A and statement opposite of A, you can get a synthesis of them, like Hegelian thought for an answer.  And it leaves me thinking…what was that all about?….a synthesis rather than a antithesis where one is wrong and the other is right.   I think how we come down on this affects every area of life…child raising, logic, decision making…and even theology.

  12. 미 캘리포니아 남부에서 필리핀에 온 님은  
    성실하게 여러면에서  사설탐정 처럼 확실하게 현장 보고하여 주시니 참 유용한 싸이트라고 생각합니다. 필리핀 자체뿐 아니라 인생, 철학, 경제, 삶 ,메너 그 자체까지 느낄 수 있습니다. 감사 합니다. 일본에사는 한국인을 부터..^—^

  13. Wonderful analogy and observation! To each his own, but I cannot understand why anyone would prefer life stateside to what you have experienced in the last year+
    I was reminded of a situation a number of years ago when my brother-in-law moved from the Bay Area to here (Montana). As he was unloading his U-Haul several neighbors came over throughout the day to welcome him to the neighborhood. He thought they were all coming over to case the joint, so to speak. It took him several months to get used to the idea that people could be friendly to a total stranger without having some ulterior motive.

    1. Another humorous (to me at least) memory I have of him was that he couldn’t believe that the local grocery stores and hardware stores would leave bins of watermelons, landscape materials etc out overnight while they were closed. He said if they tried that in CA every single one would be gone ten minutes after closing. 🙂

  14. You nailed it down!! By the way that’s my husbands picture ,actually it’s my account ,now it’s conjugal account(lol) ,I’m Marilyn ,a filipina from Tarlac city married to an israeli guy ,we are really well balanced couple -😊
    Keep it up! I am enjoying your videos!

  15. I think when asked about politics and they seem humble, as you see them, it is because you are in public, and they wonder, who is hearing, who are you? because you look like you could be pinoy..My friends there will flat out say the police, church and government is corrupt..My friends say, they accept the voting bribes to vote for Mr Scammer, and I ask why? they tell me, they owe me the money, or I need it. One friend got paid for working a voting booth, which was only for one politician, a mayor, and she hated him, but they paid her 1200 php, so she did it/ I asked why, and she said, it is like working for a boss you hate, as long as the salary is there I have to help my family…So, I think once you develop a trust and closeness, as I have with these 6 people, there is more openness, because, what does complaining do there? You either vote the drug dealer, or the murderer, which one? They both kill?

    1. Correct!!! Even we need to watch what we say, here and in public, because you could just disappear. Many Filipina disappear every year, from being too nice, too modern, too sweet, too bad, too whatever. That heart you speak of, or male female, or left brain right brain is good for face value understanding…I call it, the placenta of survival in over crowded homes, families, schools, cities…Yes, we have cities, but not always small homes, and large families, no car, massive unemployment…This is why they depend so much on, what they call, well it must be God’s will, or it is my destiny, or that’s life. You know, if that is all you know, then why look outside the box.

      NOSE BLEED: Often times, Kanos, expect them (Filipinas,) to break that rule of femininity, we are starving for in the states and across the pond…Kanos, or non pinoy, freak out, when the Filipina stands firm to the wonderful femininity we are starving for. I have studied the culture for well over 10 years and have succeeded and failed at what I state here. I am just as emotionally hypocritical as other men who discovers the land of perfect wives and tries to change her into a blond. The genuine, true blue Filipina, is dieing…I wish the kano would stop trying to change the PH islands, trying to make it just like home, and just make it better by example first…Enjoy the good it has there, which, frankly is better than SOCAL. If we force them into our way of life, we lose their wonderful femininity we are seeking…Look at what music, bars, shopping malls, and worst of all soap operas have done to the city, or Manila girls? We need to leave what we hate so much about the west and just bring what is great about it

      As you said, both the male and female serve a grand purpose, building love, great kids, family, meaning Kanosville and the PHI, but if you have one bastard of a man. the kano and one screaming bitch, the modernized pinay, you have a terrible family life and the islands will not tame that out come, it will be more like a penal colony

      God help us all

      I will be there in May, to live forever, relocating our studios there, and hope there is still that Filipina heart.

    2. Yes, in fact in general it seems Filipinos have one set of decorum for ‘public’ and quite another in private.  We Americans are very vocal either publicly or privately, in general.

  16. What I’ve encountered in the Philippines is this: If you ask a Filipino a direct question, they’ll tell you what they think you want to hear if they don’t know the answer. Saying they don’t know the answer to something, or maybe not understanding the question and saying so seems foreign to Filipinos.

  17. I love the way you analyse between the American to a Filipino that is interesting . and it really make sense . Thank you for bringing that up I hope everyone realize that . more or less is an educational to them..

  18. Thanks I needed this vid buddy, I get so bitter and disappointed with the culture here and it robes me of my joy daily and I dont want to be that way anymore but what you said here I can see clearly just have to get over how many times ive been screwed here and move on cause im starting to feel like I cant trust anyone anywhere I go here and thats a terrible feeling.

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