Avoiding Toxic Expats – Philippines, Part 1of3

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  1. great video , and so true , you should check out some of the thai forums , i would say 90% of the people go on there to say how much thay hate thailand how much they hate thai people , but theses people also think that they know more then anybody about thailand so we should all listen to them , if you are ever board check out thai visa.com forum , a post about bad weather will bring about 200 comments about how the weather is thai peoples fault and how bad the thai people are ……

  2. i have only checked out a few blogs,and even came across these types of people.sad ,lonely,and the type of person scared to move out their own little world,and try to spoil
    someone’s dream of finding happiness in another culture,but i must add ,having watched your video’s on here you seem a level headed and honest person to listen too about life in the Philippines ,for anyone thinking of settling there or just visiting .well done to you sir.

  3. Hi there! I’m a fan of your videos. I am married to a Filipina living in Nashville, TN but planning to move to San Carlos City in about 2 to 3 years. Does the term “expat” bother anyone besides me? I realize it’s just a term used for folks who have moved to another country, but I am very patriotic to the US and plan on remaining a patriot that just happens to live in the Philippines. 🙂 Just wondering your thoughts on that. Thanks!

  4. I personally really enjoy your vids and site . I look forward to your vids , because you give real feel for the Philippines the good and the bad . I have been on a few forums and YouTube channels and I gotta say yours is by far the best . I enjoy reading the comments also and am glad you blocked the aholes .

  5. well said bro… people are going to be like that.i normally just put ignore them and not spoil it for the rest of us who like your topics and agree with what your saying. keep up the great vids!

  6. I am so glad you did this video. Yes, that guy you’re speaking of was awful! I can’t believe the garbage he was spewing. I had to contain myself on some of the comments I really wanted to make. Keep up the good work, Henry! Looking forward to more of your videos.

  7. Now that the comments will be moderated, I’m looking forward to staying on-track with discussions on the PH. There will always be haters, but they can go be unhappy somewhere else.

  8. Thanks, 🙂 I do love it here and my hope is to share the experience and maybe prepare people who are planning to make the move. It’s the kind of info I had a hard time finding when I was preparing my year before I got here. Everyone was giving the “sandy beaches, umbrella drinks” side of things when I knew there was more to it than that. All in all, still the best decision I’ve made in a decade. 🙂

  9. I know what you mean, it kinds sounds a bit like “ex-patriotic” in a way. From a definition point of view, it simply means “no longer physically residing in”, yet still a citizen. I use the term expat only, as you mentioned, because it’s the vernacular that’s become the common term. I love my country, the USA, but not the direction it’s in currently.

  10. I can imagine. It’s insane how messed up some people are. I figure it’s not my job to ‘fix’ them.. just put them in their place once or twice and then scrape them out of my life. (ie; ban/block) I’ll maintain my time for the positive-minded folks who have some dreams, hopes and ambitions for the future. 🙂

  11. Very good analysis, Henry. When I first came on the forums, I didn’t tow the senile group-think about marriage, putting your girl’s family on the payroll, or the ultra-Leftist politics these geezers espoused. So I really had to work hard to bring a little diversity.

  12. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but, of the PH Expat sites that I’ve seen.. the vast majority of them are by Married guys. I’m not knocking that by any means, I’ll get married one of these days myself. But rather than get off the plane and get married 3 months later, I decided to enjoy the PH as a Single guy for a few years. So I bring a slightly different perspective. Other single-perspective sites seem to just focus on the wild night life, but there’s so much more to explore here as well.

  13. Hi Henry,
    I hope you blocked that ignorant fellow. That kind of thinking must be a heavy burden on his spirit. That’s a lot of baggage to carry. This is the screen through which he experiences life.

  14. Yes, I’ve blocked him and put all the new comments on ‘moderation first’ to discourage any return visits from his kind. In the end, his own hatred will be his own punishment in life.

  15. I generally never comment when they’re held for approval [this is the first time I’ve done this in MONTHS]. Maybe you can delete the troll’s comments then paraphrase [or even twist his comments just for laughs], then block him. He will then tire and move on to someone who doesn’t embarrass him.

    Please reconsider approving comments.

  16. ha!.. yah, they say the only way to hurt the devil is to mock his pride. hahaha! But I just delete the loser comments now, they aren’t worth my time to respond to in any way. Block/Ban and move on with life. 🙂 Thanks for taking the extra step though. I wish I didn’t have to moderate everything but I guess that’s why we lock our cars in the parking lot.. for the loser few who don’t respect others.

  17. I hope you find the vids helpful. At the main Youtube channel page I recently put many of the vids into playlists according to topic to make things easier.

  18. Every forum seems to have that guy! Maybe it is the same guy? I did the same with researching before before moving over here and ran into those guys all the time. If it is really that bad over here then go home! Makes sense to me 🙂

  19. It’s your site so do as you want! BTW great site. I’ll be heading to Malaysia in 3 months to live with my honey…. Have you been to KL? If you ever are I’ll invite you to a beer….

  20. Funny way of explaining these trolls, I get a few on my Philippines vids. I’ve been to Bohol a few times also, my GF was there when the quake hit.

  21. I listened to 8 or so of your videos on life in the Philippines.  Thanks for posting them.  This is my 6th winter here.  After harvest next year in Montana, I am moving here for my retirement years.  You have a common sense practical approach that I like.  Agree with the vast majority of what you say.

    1. @raleighman3000
      Hey…we are going to do it.   Several things caused us to wait.   My wife wants to finish 10 years on her retirement. I had a pacemaker placed, and there were some unsettled times in my wife’s community…firearms violence and so forth. That was in 2015.  So we postponed it.   But as of now her new dreamhouse is about 40% erected and we are spending a lot of the winter there each year.  47K for the house. 1/4 miles from the beach.   House should be done in 6 more months.  I signed a multiyear contract on some more land so I will be back in the usa for a lot of the next 3 years.  Thanks wanting the followup.   My wife has been a wonderful partner. The last 7 years with her have been the best of my life.  She is supportive, good in managing money and has a wonderful family.  I feel blessed.  I just hope my health hold up to enjoy living there yearround for a number of years.

  22. Trolls on Forums.  These miserable men were unhappy back in their own country and they’ll be unhappy anywhere.   A loser is a loser anywhere.   

  23. Your astute and keen observations, Mr. Henry, not only in this clip, but in most of your channel’s videos, make your channel and website valuable resources for both balikbayans and expats. We are balikbayans who are planning to retire in the land of our birth, and because of the decades we’ve spent in the US,  we will need to re-acquaint ourselves with a lot of things when we return there, and we therefore see that most of the expats’ concerns, fears, and anxieties now mirror ours. There are also “ugly” balikbayans we’d observed and heard making similar derogatory comments against the whole nation owing to unsavory and unpleasant experiences they had during their visits or vacations (pollution, ungovernable traffic mess, cops on the take, unruly and annoying bureaucratic shenanigans, the grinding poverty in the slums, miserable sight of children/beggars in the streets, etc.). Thankfully we have the same positive, emphatetic attitude that you carry with you as you deftly navigate your way around the cultural, political, and economic mazes there. I’m sure we would do well when we finally return there for good as long as we bear in mind what you stated in one of your blogs:  “Happiness is not something you seek or find; it’s something that you bring to any place or situations you find yourself in.”

  24. It would be beneficial for foreign expats in PH to learn the local language, so that they can converse with Filipinos & understand them & avoid getting fleeced. Unlike the U.S. PH is not a multiracial country, therefore Filipinos think that all whites are like Bill Gates

  25. Word to the wise, there are normal people and there are psychopaths. Most posters or bloggers who put out nothing but garbage have never been to the Philippines or were one of those losers who got deported. The Philippines is what it is. It’s a third world country and people work hard for very little but they are good people. Standard of living is awful in comparison to the USA, UK, etc. but you’re in different world because of the climate and it’s an island nation. Best of luck. God bless.  

  26. I admit it is a big transition from the U.S to here and its taken me alot of patients and understanding to not get bitter but we just have to realize its a third world country and very different culture. Its either for you or you just have to move on. Honestly my wife is pinay and wants out of here big time so its off to thailand soon to start a new life. Not trying to sound negative its just we live in manila and after three years I can say its not for me anymore. Maybe if we lived in the province it would be a different story but phuket is just so beautiful and we love it their:)

  27. I’m really thinking about moving to the Philippines and your videos have been very helpful.  I did meet some women on a dating site and a few did talk about their “sick mother” and how they needed money.  One (non-scammer) in particular was Chinese and a business owner in Manila.  She was the one that got away.  I wish I had found your videos sooner.

  28. Well, I have seen couples who met and loved each other because they were both financially stable (not rich but just stable). They then got married and lived basically normally and tried to reach their financial goals to be comfortable. They opened a business and had two children. Eventually they grew sick of each other because as they got richer, they simply grew apart from each other. They got self centered and only wanted to be spending money on what they wanted. They fought constantly about money and they suspected each other of cheating one another. It’s just sad. It shows to you that money that was suppose to keep them together, became the reason of all their quarrel with each other. The business they had suddenly went bankrupt basically because they did not trust each other and started stealing from each other. They separated and the Foreigner went back to the United States. The Filipina I heard is working on foreigner husband no. 2. I feel sorry for the kids. I heard this story from someone who said that it was a friend of his wife.

  29. Your right trolls are basically unhappy people. I only wish they would try and find a way to make themselves happy but no they continually follow their negative path.

  30. The complaints of expat trolls are hilarious. If you haven’t saved or worked long enough to have a sustainable pension, it’s difficult to live anywhere, never mind the PI’s. Can you live in the PI’s for cheaper than most western countries? You bet. Like your vid’s Henry, keep it up.

    1. Its stupidly cheap to be honest and getting stuff that’s easy to rent out is also extremely worth a look. Cebu is changing fast surprising how much its changed in the last 5 years. Still got its usual issues but hoping the families with a tight hold wake up to external trade and see they could be making a ton more money by opening up to the world.

    2. i disabled comments as i was finding people don’t always check other videos so assume everything is negative. e.g. top 10 bad things about the Philippines also has a top 10 good.. but the whole point of all the videos is for people to just think before leaping. I have prevented a couple of suicides over the last 6 years of others, known of 2 murders, expats who lost everything through stupid decisions and others who lost everything through relationships going sour. BUT my own life has been all positive as like anywhere it can be a rollercoaster but we have done well in business, happy home life and currently moving the family to Europe.Will still have 5 x 1 bed apartments, a call center and a 3 bed apartment even when we do leave. As Spain is prime for making money on as the housing market cant get any lower.

    3. that was my point, as it wasn’t me who was broke but have seen it many times in the Philippines. I haven’t dwindled I prospered and content with life. But your argument is exactly the stereotypical answer that conflicts. I put a video to get people to think what they are doing before going to the Philippines and your telling me I shouldn’t. Yet these idiots come to the Philippines and mess they’re lives up beyond repair.

    4. Interesting thing is you didn’t bother to respond to the “Philippines expat being broke” video. Because the whole point to that video was not “me” but the dumb things expats have done over the years. I spent 7 years in the Philippines and prospered but over the same period I have watched the number of people that arrived at the same time dwindle to almost nothing. Most of it is preventable which was the point of the video to “think” as you can say thank god everything is amazing its fantastic I don’t need insurance, I can stick all my money in a bum bag and ride on a jeepney because nobody will rob me. But then again I have seen people lose everything to the point of selling the house to pay for medical bills because they didn’t take out insurance. I have seen an American arrive in Cebu and took a ride on a Jeepney with his $1000 in cash in his bum bag. He was robbed and had some kind of mental breakdown because he was on medication for a bi-polar disorder.

      The point of the video is to get people to “think” as the amount of stupid things I know people have done is excessive. But then again did you bother to watch any of the positive videos? Probably not.

  31. I agree a lot with what you say.I have been married and lived in leyte for 18 yrs. and have been traveling to Philippines since 1980.

    1. Hi Joseph! does Leyte survive the tropical storms relatively intact? I assume is survivable being you still are talking about it. I plan on retiring there in a few years and only fear nature. I have heard Leyte has very low rents and cost of living and the people are wonderful. My WW2 Dads ship had to run aground on Leyte after the bow was blown off and it saved the ship [ ca36 USS Minneapolis] So it’s kind of special place I think, though never been.Thanks..

  32. Forums I dropped years ago for the very reason your talking about as its a good place to share information and get advice but often I find ranters and things going completely off topic. A lot of the time its the 3am users and a bottle of alcohol but even meeting some of the people face to face I have had people sound so excited when talking about annoying someone on a forum. Can’t say haven’t they got something better to do as the answer to that is “obviously not”. In a country with so much to see and do there is always something if people want to put the effort into it. I myself am moving the family from Cebu over to Spain. Not that I have had enough of the Philippines but preferring to get the kids into a European school system. But this gets into another area of topic as often its about perception and opinions as I don’t like the Philippines schooling system based on its international recognition. Which is why the kids are going to Europe. Yet I have had people tell me its fantastic and great but they blank the bit relating to international recognition which goes right through to why nurses retrain when going abroad. Why not get it right first time? If something doesn’t work fix it. But this gets onto the point its not being negative but simply pointing out something to be aware of if having a family in the Philippines. As most of the expats who were there from 2007 when I arrived if they had kids have left for the same reasons.

  33. I have found that many people who display such negativity are ones who do not have any money to live a decent life in the Philippines.  They are embittered to see other expats who have financial security. Some trolls who have not been anywhere hate to see and read of others who are pursuing a life-style they can never have, for whatever reason, oftentimes a financial one.

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Another side to the down-sides of living in the Philippines is actually a positive for me: Places that are too easy to settle into are the ones that become too easily over-developed and over-priced. It’s the rough-edged living in a place that helps to keep too many people from wanting to settle there. Learn to walk on the sharp edges and be thankful for them because they will help to preserve the living there that you like.

    2. @demimond11 the other embittered group are those who made every classic mistake in the book.. got fooled by a 20 year old girl and went home with a bad taste in their mouth.  PH is the big leagues when it comes to dating games.. it’s not for the unprepared amateur.

  34. Well thanks for keeping it positive Henry. Good informative videos. I’ve watched almost all of them and I’ve learned a lot about the PI and its people.

    1. I think some of these expats are antisocial misfits that hosed everything up in the States and have brought there bully attitude to a place they believe they can feel superior and dominate the women. In other words they are on a self imposed exile, and unhappy about everything in life. C’ est la vie.

    2. @J Ward thanks, i try to cover a little of everything.. places, thoughts, personal life.  all life in the PH from different angles.  🙂

  35. Natural Selection has always favored animals that have Negativity Bias, survival instinct, the negative can kill in the wild, one experience; some need to become aware of the tendency

  36. Some  outstanding observations and insights into what “haters”are about.

    Sadly pretty much anything done online is subject to, and often destroyed by narcissists and sociopaths. It’s a lot like hanging yourself on the end of the fishhook and waiting for the predators to swim by and take a bite.
     It may be helpful however, to consider that these sorts of “Haters” and “Trolls” were once innocent children, so deeply abused and degraded they now feel compelled  compensate for feelings of inferiority by abusing and degrading others.

     And even though people may be more narcissistic then ever, it’s obviously the sense of empowerment those with a monstrous case of inferiority wield online against the innocent and well-meaning that compels them the most. And sadly, the amount of damage they can do in the absence of community policing, or before online policing  can respond is often immense, tragic and unrepairable. Just as the damage to soul and psyche of the ‘trolls’ and ‘haters’ was immense, tragic and often unrepairable.

    Some have suggested that those who engage in maliciously damaging or slandering others who derive a living from online public communities should have an easy means to seek restitution for the damage they cause, but as even regulatory entities and civil courts seem to be infiltrated by the same narcissists there seems to be no escape or  practical solution other then to proactively prevent, isolate and even tolerate the situation.

    BTW:  I can’t seem to find part two and three, could you please provide the links? 


  37. UNICEF encourages poor women to have kids.

    UNICEF provides food, shelter, doctors and medicine for mothers and children in poor countries – but not for childless women or men. In some places, like Africa, they will pay a mother’s rent – now that alone could tempt a poor childless woman into becoming a mom. UNICEF does not provide contraceptives – not even condoms. Add to this the facts that there are several other NGOs – with similar policies – also working in Africa, the Philippines, and many other 3rd World areas – and they are all encouraging motherhood by making it a criteria for receiving aid. It is little wonder that Sub-Saharan Africa, one of the world’s most aid intensive areas, has the world’s fastest growing population. To increase the numbers of beggars and welfare recipients does not tend to make people more charitable – it usually does the opposite. Some parents keep more than their share of the hand-outs. Hence an increase in street Children and Child Labour. See more: go to ‘PREVAB The Prevention of Abuse’, then go to ‘Child labour’.

  38. I have noticed the sour grapes among the men who visit the Philippines.  There are men who have problems establishing relationships in their own countries because of psychological and belief issues. Then they think they can go to the Philippines and everything will work out fine.  That doesn’t seem to happen.  If a man cannot have meaningful relationships with his own family, culture, and peers.  It is doubtful that he will do it in the Philippines either.  My observation is that more Filipinas become victims of a man that cannot or does not know how to be a good husband, father, and friend to his wife.

  39. I got so tired of trolls and know it all’s on Facebook I deleted my account. I have seen some of your trolls. Sorry that you had those guys show up.

  40. True. Just found some bald, drunk guy with a funny accent giving ” practical advice” on not going broke in PH. Thanks, but I’m not 12. A lot of retards making vids now.

  41. Hello Deepay (hope i write youre name right) , I think, that we better NOT talk about these negative people, because: Thats what they want !! they want a Stage, or like we Dutch call it: A Podium, to express there negativity, and if we talk about it, we give them this stage or podium, so i should say: Ignore them, and you know what happens then? They go away, because they think: nobody listen to them, and that is the way to avoid these negative people. I like your videos verry much and the advice you give, i do something with it. have fun there in the philippines. Ingat, take care, and God Bless you.

  42. Thanks for commenting on this subject. Idle hands and idle minds usually make mischief. When I came to Peru in 1980, the first expats I met and became friends with were Greek Americans with thick accents. They suggested that I join social clubs. When I asked why, they said that is where you will meet your enemies.

  43. It’s unfortunate but yes you have monitor the juvenile behavior that’s all over social media. We appreciate your input as always.

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