Age Gap Relationships: Prejudice, 4of4 – Philippines

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163 comments

  1. I get the looks from women that you’d never believe. It was like I was a criminal. My wife doesn’t understand the attitude at all. For me personally I’ve never gotten along with any woman as good as I get along with my wife. My feeling is live your own life and don’t worry about the other people and their bad attitudes. That’s their problem.

  2. when people have problems with other couples they need to look deep down at themselves and they will find it is truly them who have issues ….im 46 and my Filipina fiancé is 24..life is good….

  3. You are so right. Moses had multiple wives. I nfact he was in his 80’s and had a 16 yr old wife. Hey if it’s good for Moses then it’s got to be okay.

    1. @jacmoll9 The truth is, people think about the age thing the way they do because they are taught to think that way, but their is nothing wrong with people of different ages getting married.

  4. Reekey I’m 30yrs older than my wife. We currently live here in Virginia
    We have a very good relationship and go everywhere together, I haven’t really experienced the bias or jealousy so far and if I have I guess it didn’t really affect me to the degree that made me give a hoot. We’re both too happy together for others to matter too much. I see you met my friend Brian in Bohol. He gave my Wife & I the grand tour of Bohol and Panglao on motorcycles. Had a blast
    We will return there as soon as my wife can freely travel on an American passport
    Hope to meet you one day. Don’t let others steal your fire. Live life while you can. No one gets out alive! lol

    1. Yah, Brian’s a great guy.  I stayed with them a few days before making my trek down Cebu to Dumaguete.  He makes the most awesome pizzas as well.  Best I’ve had.

  5. Henry I agree age should be no difference. What matters is that they mutually respect and support one another. It is unfortunate many marriages end up here in the with the 2 people expecting too much from each other instead of being content.

  6. American women hate seeing an older man bringing home a younger wife is mainly because they dislike the competition.
     American women have lost their appeal since they have become jaded with the materialism and in some cases feminism of our culture. Men are looking to be “the man” in a relationship and not a business partner, or in the worst case scenario the “source of income” for a woman who has divorced him. Since we’re running at a near 50% rate of divorce here in the US there is a valid point to be made there.

  7. The only problem I see with an older man and a younger women is the man passing before the children are grown. I think it’s unfair to the kids losing their father before they have graduated. Of course that’s just my two cents.

    1. Yes….perhaps it is jealousy more than a problem with the age difference.  My wife often talks with young waitresses when we go out to dinner and they often tell her they have bf or husbands who are 50 to 60. There is no problem either with the girls or with my wife on the age difference.  My wife  tells them she hopes it works out as a permanent happy relationship.

    2. I’m a 62 year old Australian and my Filipina wife is 28 and expecting our second child. She reports that she notices more judgement in the Philippines than she does in Australia. We have had no trouble in Australia with family, neighbours, shopping, etc. She says that in the Phils it is more likely to be people from the provinces, including shop staff in the malls, who will judge rather than the more urbanised population. She has also experienced some jealousy among relatives that has strained some relationships.

  8. Right on! Great points and thanks again for a great video.  By the way, your “producer” -the rooster in the background got impatient at the end and it was trying to tell you “Cut!” so many times. You should use “him” next time for a timer….lol  

  9. Hi Henry, great topic as usual. Well…a funny thing happened in America in 1972 and I think women are paying for it now. Under the veil of concern, the women’s liberation movement invited women onto the workforce and offered equal pay for equal work. Something that this administration will correct after 42 years… HAHA. That single move took mothers ( most mothers), out of the household and the example of wives and motherhood out of their children’s lives. Most expats are products of the 40s, 50s, and 60s so when we arrived in the Philippines we found women from our generation”s mindset and culture. I was surprised by the level at the 20-25 yr old’s level of maturity and responsibility. It was equivalent to a 30-35yr American woman without the cultural and media driven drama. A lot of it is just plain jealousy. Women jealous of what their money and looks cannot compete with and men dissatisfied with what they have..or are stuck with.( I coulda had a V8.) That’s old school. I’m 52 and my wife is 36 and we just had our 3rd and LAST child. She is still a size 6. I see that when people think for themselves and outside the programmed cultural normal they are usually criticized by people who wish they had the courage to do it for themselves. I get the looks here all the time from the women, but I also get their men asking how to meet a filipina. As what’s called and African-American in the US, I get the “cute children” comments all the time until they see the wife and mother. Then it’s stares of judgement. Yes America has yet to deal effectively with prejudice, bigotry and racism from all sides and I try to prepare my expat friends for that when the bring their fiances home. (AND THANKS TO YOU HENRY FOR ALL YOU DO IN THAT RESPECT). It’s strange that I must leave the US to be called an American. But in the end you ultimately must do whats best for you and be prepared to stand before God. If a man and women love each other and are happy together.. great. In a country where men marry men, women marry women and both marry pets……..but a football player say a prayer, do you really want to assimilate ?     

  10. I think May-December relationship are acceptable among the rich and famous. Look at all the older male movie stars with there young wives it getting very common. And even having children in their 60’s or 70’s which they will never see graduating high school or getting married. As time goes by it will be more acceptable to society. But, I find it’s the American women that find it offensive. I will be moving to Cebu in about 1 month from now and my male friends we’re in our 60’s expect me to have a much younger wife. When I was 40 something I met a girl that was in her early 20’s, I find having a young girl friend makes an older man feel young again, we’d go bike riding and do other activities. But 18 or 19 is too young for me and I get a lot of email from the dating site where the girls are 18 or 19 and super sexy. Anyway, I’ll see when I move to PH soon. LOL

  11. well why is that these men are ONLY going after younger women? Thats the odd part. People always want someone they can grow old with but yea of course the young girl is going to take care of the 84 year old. But what next??? She has no one to wake up to and tickle her and play with her. she has no man tontake long walks with or have long converaations and go on adventures. As an American, this is what i see. its not juat age difference. its the concept of Everlasting love. Olf man has a child and when that child geta older ……say 13, his father is already laying in the grave. Its a whole book but its more to it than age. Its just me… im 22…so yea.. and by the way i am not okey with two gay men in a store. i would never want my child to see such sinful BS

    1. @William Colson  Well, most black men of any age shouldn’t have Children either by that logic, they will just be killed in the next drive by, see how that works? Let me put it another way.
      I am 45, let’s say I was to marry a 20 year old, what’s to say I don’t live to be a hundred and somehow she dies before me, what then? We are alive now, le’s live life, not certain death that will knock when it’s ready, regardless of if you are ready for it or not.
      Now, I can somewhat agree with you if you are talking about a very old man and a 20 year old, then yes that’s not fair if he has children with her, but I’m not dead yet, and I have no immediate plans any time soon to depart this world.
      Your 22, maybe when you are 45 and have been here a little longer, it will make more sense.

    2. Since ‘sin’ is a big factor with you on this issue, have you not read the book of Ruth?  She was much, much younger than Boaz (an older, established landowner) and yet their marriage is included in the messianic lineage.  There is a good examination of this sanctioned age-gap marriage here;  http://www.nccg.org/629Art-AgeGap.html

    3. The fact that he will pass on first does not come as a surprise.  It is something she knows and understands from the very beginning.  I think you give women very little credit for making adult decisions.  If they are willing to enter into that sort of end story and begin a second chapter in life when he is gone, then that is her choice.

  12. If a much older man marries a much younger woman and they are planning on having children then he should ensure that provisions are made to provide for her and the children as he is likely to die before her and the children might still need parental support.  For the wife, get as much education as you can so that you are fully employable and ensure that you have some real estate in your name.  Ladies be in love but please be pragmatic.  Just saying…….

    1. @FullSpectrum Survivalist Sometimes, people young or old, fail to plan ahead. They are so caught up in the moment that they may be totally unprepared for the “unexpected”. If there are children to be provided for then this is even more critical. In the ‘age gap” relationship where the older person is also the one with the finances, then IMHO it’s imperative that the younger (usually the wife) is well prepared to assume care of the family if the “unexpected” happens.

    2. @linda brown I’m sorry but even though I understand where you are coming from with this comment, it cracks me up. I see people all the time that are closed to the same age, and they don’t plan ahead.
      I bet that an older guy who is with a younger woman will be more inclined to plan ahead knowing he will outlive her most likely, than a guy her own age, I know I would.

  13. One has to honestly ask themselves what if their 20 year old daughter came home with a 60 year old billionaire. How would you respond? I would love to hear responses.

    1. @FullSpectrum Survivalist As they say, “As you sow, so shall you reap”. After 16 years of having a similarly aged partner with a son-in-law older than me, for the last five years I’ve had a Filipina wife substantially younger than my older children. I now have the unusual situation of having both a son-in-law older than me and a mother-in-law younger than me and the kids have an excellent relationship with their new step-mother and their two new half-siblings. Tolerance leads to happy relationships all round.

    2. Not quite the 40 year age difference but my daughter has had three different partners since she was 17 (she is now 38), all of them older than me and all of them with little assets or income. But it’s her choice. I would never presume to impose my view on what makes her happy and each of them has been welcomed into my home as if there was nothing unusual. She is now expecting a daughter with the current one. Of course it would have been even easier if any of them had been financially self-sufficient but, as I said, it is her life.

    3. Depends on what country I’d grown up in.  If I were an American Dad with an American Daughter, I’d have a sit-down with the man, get an idea of what’s going on first.  Take it on a case-by-case basis.  Same with the daughter, is she flaky or mature with her decisions?  However, if I was a poor, rice farmer all my life making $250 a month to feed my 8 kids eating fish and rice while living in a nipa hut with no retirement plan.., I’d say, “Welcome to the Family!!!”.    🙂

  14. Had my gallbladder out a few yrs ago and they had to throw my filipina wife out of the room because there was another patient coming in to occupy the  other bed. She showed up at 6am the next day and stayed the whole day until I was discharged that evening. Now that’s loyalty and caring!

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Please don’t kill that rooster. It makes your vlog the more appealing to  me  (or us) Pinoys in the US (or other parts of the world) because it reminds me (us) of home, in the country side. Love your videos, very entertaining and informative. I’ve learned a lot. Your observations and comments are right on. Keep enjoying your life there in the Philippines where there is true democracy. 

  15. Here in Iloilo I do get the occasional dirty look from middle aged women and young men. But not too bad, and I am not going to let their jealousy get in the way of my happiness.  And I am in the most comfortable relationship I have ever been in!  (I am 50, she is 25 BTW)

  16. Ha! As King David lay dying, they put a 15 year old girl in bed with him! Probably kept his heart beating for a few extra days! But I wouldn’t beat my brains out trying to change the prejudicial minds of older American women, that’s a lost cause.

  17. I will start off by saying that I am 38 and my filipina wife is 27. That is within the acceptable age range, not to mention that I look and feel 28 years old and I am in great health. I will be around long enough to grow with my wife and I should still be in good health when our children and grandchildren are born. Anything older like a 60 year marrying a 22 year old woman, definitely robs the young woman of a real future. Odds are the older man will have declining health and or pass away while she is still very young. He also robs the children of having a mom and a dad well in their lives. The older men are being extremely selfish when they marry someone that is that much younger than they are. In short, I have 3 very simple rules in a relationship, never ignore the past, the present and your future. Marrying a person that is 35+ years older than you are falls into the ignoring your own future.

  18. You are so correct on so many levels and principals. If only common sense were for sale in prescription forms. Awesome series of videos. Watched all 85 of them and will watch any other videos you make. Wonderful bridge of fact and information for all of us on both the filipino/filipina and ex pat foreign western or immigrant (positive ones) view and front. God bless you sir, and thanks for being a standout expat.

    1. Im gonna get to them all. I am very intrigued by the message and focus that is viewed and fairly spoken by you sir. there is a sense of respect and gratitude i have for the filipino/filipina people. I met someone that is awesome young beautiful and very strong willed in her determination. I told her alot about the videos you make and show the very gracious view of the Philippines. love the mall videos, and those you make about the JTOL ones. Very happy for you finding a significant special someone in your life now. I hope that my find is as great as yours is. Im 37 and in the military…she is 19 and a college student. i plan to be there next year after school. i have seen and spoken to her siblings and friends too…likewise on my end. I was very optimistic about age difference on her view ..not mine…im happy for her view of bypassing my age difference. love her  insight of life and love too. Thank you so very much sir for your videos…

    2. Thanks.  Altogether I have about 320 vids, but some are ‘me speaking’ and others are me ‘out on the street’ on location.  🙂

  19. funny how it’s ok for the rich super stars and ok for older women to have toy boys, my view is if they are both consenting adults, it is entirely up to them

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines The truth is, it’s jealousy or insecurity almost every time, and that is the truth. I think it’s funny how supposedly everyone else but you knows what’s best for you.

    2. Madonna, Demi Moore and Cher.. all had much younger men and it’s “fine”.  But an average guy in the US with a young Filipina?  Suddenly they’re up in arms about it.  There’s a name for that:  Hypocrisy.

  20. I’ve enjoyed your series, Would you consider adding a segment in the Age Gap Relationships with your girlfriend describing what makes her click with a older guy and her social experience in Dumaguete. btw, after enjoying a month between March-April in Cebu, “I will return”, 🙂  

  21. mostly american women. they have a huge issue . i get american women stare at us and our age gap aint that big but she looks very young for age .what i have seen is american women say u just want a child or a slave. i say well american women want a very rich man if anyone is a gold digger i would have to say american white women are there standard of rich is alot higher then filipina look at rich.

  22. one more thing . the big joke filipinas would joke about that i dont find it funny and niether does my girlfriend . is old rich and near death .its ignorant . there are alot of cases where old old men marry 18yr olds. and how controling these older men are on there filipina wife and strict lives they have here they suffer .now not in all cases im sure that most are looking for 50/50 love. henry if you give any advise to filipinas tell them becareful who they choose . because the mental abuse these girls suffer and they are lied to when they get here . alot end up pregnant and the older gentleman lied said she will never have to work ever. when infact they lied about there wealth just to get them here becuase they are loney . my god if any of your filipina friends read this just be sure and dont say it dont matter once im in america i will be fine and its not always that way. some of these guys put bars on there windows and double locks on the door. even lock up the fridge and food cabinets while there man is working .they dont want them putting weight on. or you will end up working and the older disabled man stays home and watches your baby… all parties beeter be sure. oh and no internet or cell phone no other contact with any other filipinas they dont want them to have a escape plans . god over the years i seen so much.. i do admit there are bad infulences here also can turn a good wife bad . like a filipina married to a older man where he cant get out but he gives his wife freedom but in the same breath they are like a child in a candy shop. multible men even ruining of marriages to other men that are married even with there filipina friend becuase that man has more.. oh back to infulences . so that free and wild young wife makes friends with your wife and they will teach how to steal and cheat and make cover stories for each other.. i seen it all. i told my girlfriend i dont mind you having any friends you want but just dont forget those women giving that bad advice to ruine your happiness are not happy themselves and they dont want to be alone in there misery. and a handleful of many other reasons .

  23. I’ve met my Canadian husband when I was 23 yrs old. My husband was 47 yrs old when we got married a few months after we’ve met; he was 2 yrs older than my Dad. We have a 17 yr old son now. Our son was born when my husband was 50. He became a stay at home Dad. I went to College and had a diploma. I joined the Canadian Forces and I’ve been in for almost 12 yrs now. My husband enjoyed his retirement and we love each other. The thing that I’ve wish for is that for us to grow old together. We’re waiting until I’m finished with my 20 yr contract and maybe travel back to Cebu and see my family. Anyways, my advice to all of you is to be loyal and true to your wife no matter where she’s from and what age she is. We don’t see a lot of prejudice here in Canada.

  24. I think matters relating to real and true love goes beyond human understanding thus no one should judge the other on who and how they want to lead their lives. Age doesn’t matter in relationships.

  25. In the USA, age is looked down on.  When I was young I had such respect for my grandparents.  One big change is USA is that the youth don’t respect the older generation:  even one generation, much less 2 generations.  That is one reason why you seldom see younger women and older men.  There is no respect for older people.   Many American women would rather work than get married.  

    Americans are totally prejudiced of age differences in relationships.  I was told by my nephews that I should date women my own age.  How dare I date a woman their age?  This is jealousy.  They don’t want to see me have more happiness than them.  

  26. henry first of all i like your sites ive been to the philippines twice plus im engaged to a filipina whom i met in my own country new zealand.i definately would like to live in the philippines but need that fixed supply of money.but anyway with the predujice in the western countries i see that men tend to joke about the situation but the real prejudice i see are among western woman and im brave enough to say at least half of it comes down to jealousy.

  27. personally i have no problem with it as long as they happy and the girl is at least over 18 but with a comment before how its robbing a girl of her life because shell be looking after him in a wheelchair in a few years time.Well if the girl is over 20 im sure she’ll be fully aware of the situation when she got married.
    G

  28. I’m consumed with your perspectives on these topics. All I can say is job well done and thank you for much valued input. I met a wonderful filipina and am in the early stages of courtship. It is escalting at very accelerated pace. I may be reaching out to you for some specific questions as you are much more well versed in this area. Many thank, Josh

  29. I was literally dying in the United States.  I had fallen into a routine of living the life of a retired old man.  Out of shape, getting fatter by the day, and pretty much just waiting to die.  After chatting online with a sweet little 19 year old filipina for about a year I decided I would come here and see her.  Best thing I ever did.  She’s 20 now and I’m 58.  I’ve been living with her for nearly a year now and we will be married sometime after the first of 2015.  I have something to live for again.  I lift weights, have lost about 35 pounds and feel better than I have in 20 years.  Filipina like to take care of a man and, from an American perspective, that took some getting used to.  I’m kinda shunned by some of my relatives in the States, but it is they who have the problem.  I like to tell the spinster esque biddies in the US who say I have robbed the cradle “It’s good to be King”.  hahahahaha!

    1. Very encouraging to read your story Jack. I am 55, my future wife in Phils is 20….my 33 year old daughter  was more than a little concerned, LOL.  Life is wonderful again! 

    2. Nice Jack! I am much like you. I feel I am dying here in the states a little each day. I need to go to PI and find a lovely Philipina to eventually marry. I am 52 and time is of the essence.

    3. Awesome.  They may never understand the new lease on life we can have here.  Best thing we can do for ourselves is just move forward and enjoy!   Happy for you!!

  30. I totally agree with you , The issue in the USA is the definition of an adult or a woman,   Often you hear on TV or written in the paper,  ”  the 24 yr old girl?  and i say to myself when the hell are you a woman?   girl? girl? come on,  shes maybe divorced, kids at 24, has been with a ton of guys and shes a ” Girl” so when the heck is she a woman.  Your 18 here and your an adult but your classified as a boy or girl.   Its all messed up and women here have been taught men are not necessary, they have no value. And that your old after 40.  Until they get there then they change their mind.   Its bias and messed up ,,,and your right REEKAY,,  here divorce is rampant so age is not working out for all those who are in the proximity of the age gap, what ever the heck that is.  Just a thought and my 2 cents worth,..

    1. @BenFern kay  If we were to be honest fully, they cease to be girls and start to be young ladies way before 18, they brain wash everybody into thinking 18 is the right age, but did you notice that’s also the age you graduated High School most likely, does that age make sense now?

  31. in the context of developmental sociology, its a formal Stage being called conventional, traditional, rules&roles, ethnic role playing, gender role playing; its almost completely subconscious; people simply can NOT think, thus comment, act,  above the Stage they’re at; stage differences are always knee-jerk-thought-of as either 1) stupid/retarded, 2) insane/delusional, or 3)malicious; OR you could  formally classify it as 1) pre-rational, 2) pre-scientific, 3) pre-verbal-technical; developmental psychology, sociology, is considered a dirty little secret/s in those fields

  32. It’s no big deal to Filipinos’? Obviously you don’t speak Bisaya or Filipino to hear what people are saying when the 60 & 20 year old are shopping in the mall. You would be surprised to hear their comments. They are not all as nice as your video would have one believe.

    1. Agreed it’s not uncommon but it is still a weird sight to a lot of Filipinos. Why do I know? Well, my wife is actually about four months older than me. A rare thing in your parts to have a westerner younger than his Filipina wife. So the topic comes up often in conversation with family and friends. I hear about all of it and I hear their comments and attitudes they have to these age gap marriages.

    2. @Rice Thims When I say, “No big deal”, I mean it’s a common sight to them.  Not that they all approve, of course.  But it’s not the uncommon sight like it would be in the United States.  In the U.S., it’s rare to see a 60+ man with a 21 year old wife.  But not here in the PH.

  33. the ONLY issue i have with big age difference is – if we do care about the woman we need to consider their situation down the track when we pass on and she is mid-age with a much less chance to find another.

  34. Great vids, Ur spot on on ur topics, Im a 52 Aussie with a 24yo phil girl married 2years living, working in Aust, Only holiday and spend in phil lol Phil is like a every thing $2 shop but you still come out spending thousands lol, Is only cheap if you want to live like a local.

  35. Hi Henry . I had the same thing happen to me in Cuba . First day there i went for a early morning walk on the beach . And i saw this very old guy holding a little baby with a pretty young spanish girl with him . hum… The very next day i was having a coffee and saw him alone there . So i said to him that i saw him on the beach . And he said that he saw me too . I asked him about the baby ! He told me that was his daughter ! And that the girl was his wife . Then he said do i have a problem with that ? He then told me that he was a retired doctor from Canada and that his wife died 7 years ago . And that his kids had moved away to the other side of Canada . He then said would i be happier if he was alone in an old age home ? He then said she makes him happy and he helps her  . Who are they hurting ? Wow do i ever go to school that day . Now my feelings are so much changed for the better . Now that was 10 years ago . Today i am meeting a friend for lunch and giving him some parrot food for coco my parrot in Cuba . Have a happy day Henry . Gibby

  36. I just seen all 4 parts of age differences in relationships in the
    Philippines. I was married 31 years to a wonderful Filipina woman who was from Cavite City. We had 3 children, we were married from 4/5/1979 till 3/6/2010. I’m a widower of Irish-Norwegion
    ancestery, the only women I will date are Filipina women. I have
    met a few, they are very wonderful women, my dating track
    record since 11/26/1974 to the present has been that 75% of
    the women I have dated are Filipina. It’s very true, a Filipina
    woman that is about 50 years old is much more mature than
    her black & white American counterpart that is the exact same
    age. In 4 years I will return to the Philippines for good & live
    out the rest of my life there where my heart is.

  37. Im in my 60s and just very recently i am looking there for a wife i dont give a damn what a stranger might think or say..but thats me.the ladys i have talked to are very real and beautiful….north american women seem to be very open minded unless it serves them. 

  38. Rick, I’ll tell you a couple of stories about age difference acceptance in Colombia, and by extension SOuth America. I was visiting a friend of mine in Cartagena. He’s 54, she was 22 at that time. As we ate lunch I asked her if her family gave her any problems about the age difference. She looked at me and asked, “What age difference?” I explained why I asked and she said, “Well, my family did not notice it or care about it. My 83-year old uncle just ha
    s a baby with his 24-year old wife, and they and the whole family is happy about it.”

    Now I do recall how some high-powered business acquaintences of his in Panama looked at him a little funny at first when he introduded his wife, who is not only young, but also rather dark-skinned. I think it was the skin color that mattered more to these guys than the age, as light skin is highly valued and seen as evidence of higher standing in society there. But after that introduction and quiet evaluation on him for his choice and her for her standing and age, she was treated well by all there..

    1. @Perry James stay close to her, she’ll need your support and affirmation.  me, i plan to stay in the PH.  if i marry, this way she can be near her parents and we won’t have to deal with the bigotry and snide remarks waiting for us in the usa from small minded people.

  39. I listened to all 4 parts. As a 26 year old American woman who does know how to cook, keep house, has a college education, and believes marriage is a lifetime commitment, I must say while I wasn’t thrilled about the stereotype of American women my age being presented in the series, I agree that the marriages that work are the ones based on commitment. My Sweetheart is 53 (that would be 26 and a half years apart for those doing math) and we’ve been together for two and a half years. We will be married in 3 weeks. Neither of us has been married before but we both intend for this to be our only marriage. He is my world, he is my joy, he is the most amazing gentleman I have ever known. I respect him above all others and I have no doubt he cherishes me. And that is really the key: regardless of a person’s age, country of origin, or anything else it boils down to being committed to each other, and loving and respecting one another. By the way, our friends, family, and church are supportive of our relationship; but for those who are not we get a laugh out of their responses. 😉

    1. @AbbyLou2u They are all wrinkly and jealous. For me, I am finding dating near my age difficult, they all seem broken by men (sometimes women) and have lots of skeletons in their closet. I now have a 21 yo showing interest in me, I feel 20 years younger (i am 53) Im serious about weight loss, I am trying to reverse my diabetes. What I am saying, I have a new lease on life, a spring in my step and someone worth waking up to chat to every day (Im flying to the phillipines to meet her in 3 weeks, but we have known each other 4 years as I was helping her with English, she had a bf but is now single)

      You said you were planning your wedding, it has been four years, I am curious how things are now.

      Enjoy the sun

      Guy
      British Columbia

    2. @AbbyLou2u When i was married i had a few women flirt and hit on me at my work place and now since i was divorced not a one has showed any interest whatsoever . This country is so sad indeed for a true relationship and good luck for yours and hang on its just beginning the ignorant people will come hitting on to you both.

    3. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines true! A while back were discussing wedding plans with some friends and when I walked off a man who’d overheard approached Chris (my fiancee) and asked if his daughter was getting married! He said “no,but she’s marrying me.” He told me when I got back that the man’s face was priceless! Those things I find funny, but what is not amusing to me are the women his age that try to flirt with him in public. We both can’t figure THAT out, because it’s pretty obvious that we are together! I mean we hold hands, hug, walk arm in arm so we don’t quite understand the reaction from some women. Or some of the men that try it with me when we’re in public too. I think I prefer the laughable comments and raised brows any day over the ones that think they can flirt with either of us. Oh well, people can be strange.

    4. @AbbyLou2u i’m glad to hear you have support from your family.  as i told my g/f, lyn (21 yrs old) the other day.. “we make our decisions for us and our life.”.  that’s all it really boils down to.  even if a person tried to conform to all the random opinions around them.. they’d always displease someone.  much better to just make decisions you can live with.

  40. what are your thoughts were the expat husband is older than the Filipinas wife’s parents? Just curious about this because I am finding this to be in fact a reality for me. Is this going to be a problem down the road?

    1. @Rick Cahill i suppose the one inevitable direction for all this would be when both parents and the husband are all in their 80’s at the same time.  as i’ve mentioned in previous videos, setting aside some sort of security, financially, for the young filipina (who now will be in her 30’s or 40’s) is the best preparation.  having a house in her name, open to the idea of having the parents live with you if you are living in the PH is another option.  if living abroad, paying for a filipina caregiver to care for the parents is another option.

  41. Im like you, lived in SoCal all my life and Im in my late 50’s. What I see here a lot is that white women get married and they stop playing the game. They stop dressing nice, keeping themselves in shape etc. There are a few exceptions as in everything, but for the most part that’s the way it is. Latina women are just the opposite, they learn at a young age how to keep a guy interested. They dress up, makeup, hair, flirt…they know how to work it. And I suspect Filipina women have some of that too. If you tell a Latina here that you like her hair that way, she is going to wear it that way a lot. And I know that’s where a lot of the jealousy from American women come from, if they would keep themselves up more they would find that they would get more attention.

    1. +K27fan Reminds me of the comments in another video. Black men visiting Brazil and enjoying the women there; the black women from the USA are all telling them they’re perverted exploiters, that they can’t “handle” a “real” woman (quite racist against the Brazilians if you ask me). There’s this ugly jealous intolerance many women feel and it’s because they can’t stand the idea that foreign women might have something they don’t.

    2. @K27fan my ex-wife was from mexico and yes, what you say does apply as a general rule. you go to mexico and women seem to really put out that extra effort to ‘be feminine’, wearing nice dresses in public, heels, hair done, etc. in the usa, it’s sweat pants and hair in knot way too often.

  42. I liked your story & found it very interesting as a fairytale. However, it requires much hard work by each partner for such a relationship to work successfully. No matter how much one tries, the other partner will become lazy and leave. The #1 fact of life is: “WE were each born with free will to choose our own life’s path.” We may each change our mind at any moment. American Society does doom most relationships to fail, as that is good for business. For example; if laws were changed preventing divorce – millions of Divorce Lawyers would be out of work. Success in any profession requires that many others will fail. That is the story from the ‘race of life’, on earth. I choose not to compete with anybody, for anything! 50% failure is common. Each morning when you awake, there is only a 50% chance that you will not die in your sleep. Half of mankind will live, & 1/2 will die. I am a Human from our family called Humanity. We have not chosen poorly! We will all journey to Enlightenment + Eternal Happiness, while mankind pursues that impossible dream.

  43. there is no question that you are right here in fort Lauderdale I spent the summer with a
    fantastic looking model type eastern European girl I am 70 she was 30 and going into the mall
    was a very interesting experience  ha ha ha but being an x new Yorker I have no problem
    with the looks or comments and have no problem commenting back
    Richard

  44. I’m going to the Philippines. .claveria to be exact. .and meeting with the girl of my dreams. .I am 47 and she is 21..just graduated college. .her mom is only 5 years younger than my mom…so excited to meet them and experience the Philippines. .then to plan my next move. .I have gotten so much crappie mostly from my own family regarding the agreement gap..I am fully mature and make this choice based on truths I have learned about Phillipines culture and what you say backs me up 100 percent. .thanks for the post!!!

  45. Thank you so much for your videos. I am engaged to a Filipina woman 20 years younger with a beautiful daughter. She is widowed and we share many of the same life experiences. I am the happiest that I have been in my life. The American women I have dated are no where near the maturity of my intended. American woman always ask what is in it for me. My Filipina gf always asks what can I do for you my dear. 180 deg. difference. American women better wake up or they will all end up being gay cause no man will want to be with them after experiencing the Filipina.

  46. H, the way I’ve always seen it is, for example, a man busts his ass working for 40-50 years and never had or took the time to have a family when he retires why would he marry/start a family with a 40yo woman? Makes no sense, provided he wants a family.

    1. @Jt T Exactly. There is very good genetic reason why the man should be older than the woman. A man is still viable long past when a woman is.

  47. People are plain old idiots. I was talking to a young woman who was just 21, having a regular conversation about school and her plans. A woman who knows her family,  claimed I am trying to “sex her up”, and all we was talking about was college. I expressed my concern of her not working in the factory and be stuck in that mode. The women I know, oh no they were all into thinking. Now I am a friend of 2 women of the Philippines, one 28 and another 26, we have had interesting conversations, via online and none of the women have asked for a dime. Both work having full time jobs. One is a clothing inspector and the other is a translator for her people in Taiwan and the factory they all work in. She is paid much more than her counter parts. Any way, I told her, if we was to get together, maybe marry, you’d hear it if we lived in my area. She is aware that her life would be improved–that is both women know this. Both love to work and asked, will you allow me to work, since many men of their nation say they must sit at home and raise the kids.

    I would rather live in the Philippines and I am sure it would be a major adjustment, but I would look forward to it. Exploitation, I don’t think so. Some of the same issues exist among women here and older men. As I said, many are going to hear it. In some places still, men and women of different races are still looked at with a microscope, yes that is here in the USA

  48. Reekay…..Plse shut that rooster up – when you are speaking!! Put some tape around it’s beak!!! It is annoying to me and no doubt others as well!!

  49. Hey Henry i agree with this series but personally since im 50 i couldnt see myself seriously with anyone under 30 but i also never been to the philippines. I do know they are great cooks or those i have met here in the states and if they wasnt married i would be after one of them for sure lol tc and keep the vids rolling …..

  50. Really good enjoyed the whole series.
    It a as biblical goes I happen often, so yes the Chirstain world should accept it better.
    Mary the mother of the Christ was 13 or 14 years old when she became with child and Joseph was like 70,which gave him the wisdom too not put her to shame before the angel even told him anything,There are some pinoys that do have some problems with it and they would have no problem with it i it where a pinoy man.
    But none would say to them hey buddy you taking you grand daughter out and they would in the USA have heard stuff like that.
     where with any thought the man is exploiting her and the woman was a gold digger.ae the fist thought with a great many people.
    Even i am or was jealous as the older expat had more money than me.
    I saw some older expats living thee that there woman who where 18 and there woman really  never even spoke and where treated more like a servant but most older men yeah really seem to care, so like you said to the woman is true to not all expats are good men.
    There just are no guarantee, even have a old friend who married a bar girl,, his marriage has lasted longer than mine or the men who i considered good woman.
    They have the same definition of marriage and they seem to have the same goals.
    Vert interesting topic of a clash of cultures

    1. +steve o You anticipated my argument , referring the to biblical Jo and Mary situation. See back to my reply. Although some what different in it’s conception than mine, as Mary was entrusted to Jo .

    1. +John Burton i was an engineering technician and lead for a coronary angioplasty company for 21 years. then i ran my own PC repair business for 6 years. then i came to the PH. 🙂

  51. In America ..Lots of TWO Face people..if your rich and famous ..a movie star..they accept it but if your a average Joe they will not accept you with young lady…

  52. I am watching a video by LifeBeyondTheSeas on age gap marriage The narrarator is talking about the  predjuice in America toward the age difference in marriages.I call it JEAlousy .There  is 42 years age  between my wife and I.Now I want to set a lot of people straight on this.,so read on .Firs t of all,she was NOT homeless,her family  has a nice home and farm.They were not living on the stree t.SHE  GAVE UP MORE THAN SHE GAINED BY MARRING ME.So ,She was not a Golddigger. She had more money in her pocket before she got married  than she has now.So lets get that B.ull Sh.. straight.When we are out  The man will slide up to me and ask ;DOES SHE HAVE A SISTER/DOES SHE HAVE A FRIEND? The woman with him will give my wife dirty looks. One day at a Flea  Market,a woman in her 70″s ask me why I married a young girl.,when there were so many local girls available.I answered her question in a way she will never ask again.I told her that I had dated older women ,and  that the only thing she wanted to talk about was her medications and doctors appointments ,and  the only place she wanted to go was to visit grand children .One  day ,I ask her did she know about SEX..She responded,oh yes,SEX  ,SOUTH EASTERN  EXPRESS,a trucking company..Then I told her that marring an older woman was like buying an Old Car.The sales person has it tuned up enough  for you to get it home .AFTER  THAT ,THERE IS NOT A MECHANIC BETWEEN HERE AND HELL THAT CAN GET IT STARTED .SHE  JUST GROANS AND GRUNTS,Like an old car with a weak battery.I am a Nascar  fan. when I turn on the key ,and hit the Starter,and mash the  gas,IWANT TO HEAR THE ROAR OF THE ENGINE AND FEEL THE SURGE OF POWER. So to all the jealous  people that are stuck in a relationship that you don”t  have the  MONEY OR GUTS  to get out of ,go  ahead and ask me  how it feels to wake up in the  morning beside some one ,that  you are NOT ASHAMED TO WALK DOWN THE STREET WITH.. I have an answer waiting for you.

  53. Let’s face it it’s the same feminists who claim to want nothing more than equality attack men for traveling overseas (they must be sex tourists who exploit poor girls) or for dating/marrying younger women. And most American men buy into their hateful message because they want to please those women.

  54. You also have to remember that when something is problematized/pathologized/criminalized by society – as older man younger woman relationships most certainly are – that puts an additional stress on the relationship, one that may even cause it to fail. And then in some cases it becomes a self-fulfilling moral rule. If you break the half your age plus seven rule where is the most significant problem? Public opinion. It’s like the argument that smoking weed is morally wrong because you could possibly go to jail for it.

  55. It is so refreshing to find a thinker. I noted your comment on Jo & Mary (biblical). Tough OUR Jena and my situation it’s much different. 39 years and 364 days separate us . She found me on FB , So no coercion on my behalf. But we clicked and its been amazing how we seem to be in telepathic communication . Few can note it as they have never considered this kind of thing , I Go out , leaving computer on , return at an unforeseen time, and as I come through the door, “bloing” and she messages me , at that precise moment . It just happened again . I switched back to her page and as i was to type she sent a message . Something spiritual going on here . And YOU ?

    1. +Alexander Gray it’s been a year now since lyn and i met, and things are fantastic. we’re having a great relationship and are both very happy being together. it’s been the best year of my time in the PH. (3.5 years)

  56. I married a Filipina in 1993 She was 32 and I was 40 at the time….
    As long as we lived here in the Philippines we stayed happy….. But do to my work I had to return to the USA and it took 7 months to get her visa to come to Houston at that time… Again as long as we had Filipino friends we stayed happy….I*t was when she decided to start working that our problems began…. American females have this habit of taking control of woman from other countries… What I mean is they turned my loving Filipina into an AMERICAN TYPE FEMALE…. It took 3 years to kill our relationship but it did, and she could not understand that “SHE” was no longer the lady I FELL IN LOVE WITH… She was what I went to the Philippines to getaway from …”AN AMERICAN WOMAN”…… ATTENTION FILIPINAS…. If us western men wanted a westrern woman , WE WOULD NOT , I repeat NOT come here to meet a Filipina !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  57. You seem to have a CO- Speaker in a lot of your videos… ( that chicken ) lol , I bet you’ve thought about making it part of a meal; a few times… LOL…. I have the same situation here in Zarraga , Iloilo with a few of them….and the barking dogs…They know me the dogs , but just like to bark a lot…. and it always seems to be when I am on the phone to the USA or listening to a video… Hummmmm  !!!!

  58. Reekay, I am going to use an old phrase: Right on, right on, right on I enjoyed your four part series and I thank you for this posting. Hope to meet you when I get there.

  59. Preach brother preach!!!!! Ignore the haters. As far back as history goes, usually successful relationships and marriages were always, a younger woman and an older mature man.. the problem we’re running into in the Western countries are older women who feel that the pool of men is taken by younger women.
    Even though the majority of these Western women are so set in their ways they could never appreciate the desire of a man.
    But only seeking what is for their own benefit and what the man can do for them.

  60. native american indians say, that a male would need a younger wife – who would take care of a old man- if you don’t want to live in a nursing home- and if you don’t have any close relatives – i think maybe a female is more wired to care for the young and the old..

  61. Absolutely excellent video series, carnal! Just excellent! And Reekay…an unrelated question that might help you and help others help you….does it help you if we watch the entire advertisement in the front of your videos as opposed to skipping the ad after that option is available? Please let us know. I think lots of YouTubers out here would like to know.

  62. Great talk Reekay! I did what you warned us not to do in another video, join a online Asia dating site. And upon joining I was actually shocked by the amount of women, young women in their early 20’s and late teens, sending me messages and chat requests. Of course it was absolutely great for my 50 year old ego, but I found myself slightly repulsed and brushing them aside, telling them they were much to young. Admittedly, I did find myself going back to their profiles time and time again but would not dare to contact them for the mere reason of the age gap. Your talk has opened my eyes and made me look at my own prejudice if you will. Time to rethink and shake off this western mindset. Thanks for putting this out there!

  63. women feel prejudice because the women “over the hill” are bitter that they lost their young good looks. They hate the idea of feeling they were “traded up” for a newer model. As for the men, they are simply jealous they couldnt do the same. great vids, very educational

  64. Absolutely spot on! I joined an Asian dating site and searched for between 45 to 57 yr olds, I am 63. I ruled out all the young ones because I thought we would have nothing in common. Months later after talking to a 52 yr old, very beautiful, she let me down, went cold on me, and I don’t know why? As a result I went back on dating site and I was contacted by a 30 yr old, I wrote the usual. reply, yr to young, thank you for writing etc, but she didn’t give up, and now we talk every day. I still struggle with the age thing and I am not sure it will blossom because I am still fending her off, but the reaction I have had from people around me have been ‘dirty old man’ looks of amazement, don’t be stupid etc.
    You re right with the probable reactions of people here in uk, it would make life difficult for her and probably me but we only pass this way once and I have been very honest with the young lady and said, I’ll get old, you will end up looking after me, but her reaction ‘ if I love you I will look after you’ ….

    1. me, personally.. i make my decisions first based on how it affects me and the person involved. how anyone else will react to it is secondary. if i tried to make decisions that made other people happy.. they’d never be satisfied and i’d never be happy. so.. do what is best for the both of you.

  65. I Agree, that age does not have to matter, but i also would notice this, that, some youger filippinas marry a foreign (older) man for status, and to provide the needs for the family of the woman. because: when you marry a pillipina, you also marry her family, and she expext you to help her family. I agree that filippina woman are more the old fashion types, that our western woman where in the old days. they care more for the man, in every way, and the western woman are more emanicipated. i married a filippina, 7 years youger then me, but i found her in my own country, she has as the most filippinas, more to offer then the western woman. but when you look for a filippina woman in the philippines, consider this , that you marry her, you marry most of the times also her family, and i already said what this means. so, consider, are you agree with this aspect if you marry a filippina? they are great woman, the best of the world, but in some cases, the family comes by it. can you provide also for her family, you reilly think this over , because it could lead to verry great arguments in the marriage if you not talked about this before, and not to be able to help the family of your future wife. so, i hope to help you with my thoughts, this is the only concept you think and should talk about with the filippina lady you would get a relationship with. do you once agree, and marry a filippina? you have the best woman in the world, i asure you that.

  66. ok how about a 71 year old guy just using the girls for sex and nothing more . here in this part of the philippines it is not acceptable behavior, im not talking about a guy who is genuinely trying to start over but someone who is just using these girls .

    1. i don’t think anybody is advocating “using girls for sex”. who have you been listening to? i’m against men using women. and i’ve tried to encourage men to be honest in their intentions from the beginning. “using women” involves deceit and lies. i would say that most people are against that. but if you’re asking me is it “wrong” that men tell women up-front that they are not interested in a relationship and only want short-term companionship.. no, that is not wrong. it is honest. and if a filipina wants no part of it, she simply doesn’t participate in it. for some reason (jealousy, perhaps), some people have a hard time accepting the fact that adults have a right to date on a short-term basis. if it bothers them so much, they can refrain from it and go get married. but there needs to be some tolerance to adults over 18 who want a short relationship that is not looking for marriage. many people happen to enjoy being single and dating a variety of people.

  67. Thank you Reekay for explaining the differences between Philippine and American cultures. Feminism is alive and well in America brain washing women since elementary school to be career minded anti-marriage , anti-family and that all men are predators. This is why a man with a much younger woman in America is a no no. Because some how you are EXPLOITING her and keeping her from her full potential as a independent career minded woman! Feminism in America teaches women they don’t need a man to be happy and to put off the notion of marriage or family until your later years after your career has blossomed. Feminism teaches women to ride the cock carousel and to never commit to a man. This is why a younger woman with a older man is such a no no. American women are worthless , never learning to cook , clean or understanding what marriage is. This is why American men are tired and disgusted with American women and are seeking real women in Asia who value family and marriage.

    1. i have one son who is married (of the 3 sons). he managed to find a woman who is very family-oriented and committed to their marriage. my older son plans to forget about marriage/kids and only ‘consider’ it after he’s gotten his doctorate and working a career. for now he’s got a great g/f who was already into skydiving as much as he is. and my younger son is looking to start a new company after phasing out his first one. i feel bad for guys stuck in western society when it comes to women. there are ‘some’ decent girls but they are far and few between in the West. most are demanding when they have little to offer a man. in my opinion, most western men are best off remaining single.

  68. Well i think you have not been in Utah, after you visit the Provo-Orem area you will know what age gap intolerance is, a poor single man in his 40s has 0 chances to get an immature average 18 to 30 years old woman in Provo-Orem, age discrimination is rampant. And the worst thing is that most people see it very natural, even mormon lds leaders encourage people to discriminate against others by creating age groups 18 to 30, 31 to 45 and 45 and up wich i see absolutely ridiculous because all of them are adults, by the way, i am mormon.

    1. same in calif. nobody balks at two men in a relationship. but walk hand-in-hand with a girl 30 years younger and people act like you’re the first black/white couple on the planet. meanwhile, in the PH and most of europe and asia.. it’s no big deal in society to have an age-gap relationship. i’ve lost track of how many times older men or women have asked me to meet their young but adult niece or adult daughter.

  69. This just happened to me here in the US, met a girl twenty years younger, spent about a year with her, we got along great, I was very much in love with her, i treated her very well, until her friend’s and family found out, made me into some pedo creep, they refused to see how well I treated her, finally she gave into the pressure and we broke up, very heart broken. Now she’s with some younger guy who treats her like shit and drinks like a fish, but hey as long as they are close in age that’s all that mattered to everyone.

  70. Live and Let Live , those who cannot seem to do that are Unhappy and they are because they are getting no attention from the opposite sex and they don’t want you to have any either !!!

    1. and not a single one of them has yet to put forward a moral or legal case as to why two legal adults should be prevented from have a relationship. it always boils down to their ‘opinion’. fine, but their opinion only has jurisdiction on their own life, not that of others. jealous whining is all these critics have going. meanwhile, the rest of us will be happy with our choices. 🙂

  71. I knw a aussie man in his 60s who’s had a baby with his young filipina wife . His very wealthy and takes care of her and her family fantastic. But usually should a filipina in her 20s be marrying a man in his 60s or 70s wen she wants kids?? Maybe not it’s a risk if he can still hav them and how much longer will he be around

  72. I just joined a dating service and on the first line of my profile I truthfully stated that I was 62 years old…. well one of the first women that showed an interest in me was 21 years old and she’s not the only one and if her and I should become a couple and people have a problem with it then they need to practice safe sex and go F**K themselves.

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