Age Gap Relationships: My Experiences, 3of4 – Philippines

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29 comments

  1. I can’t speak for anyone else but from my point of view. I have seen an know a few Asian cultures and their mindset, cultural values ; the emphasis on the family and extended family are truly treasured.  My wife and I feel in the larger cities like Manila that Western attitudes are having a questionable affect on the Filipina people.  I think more of a culture clash.  People with traditional  values and not such a fast past life will be found in smaller towns and provinces.  While the age is somewhat just a number I think many will still largely think negatively on a wide age gap.  I agree with you although as long that if most things are agreeable with each other that’s awesome.  The only downside that she understands that if she wants to start a family you will be 70 when your child is 18 not to mention any grandchildren. I agree with you that life experience, maturity, family values;  their up bringing really makes a huge difference.  I have seen some very young Hmong, Latina, Filipina , Japanese and Laotian children take on some real adult responsibilities. I do feel just a little bad that they had a harder childhood than others out of necessity.

  2. Ah, this subject brings back so many memories. I will say that I agree with you about 95%. As I am older than you I may be a little more jaded.  You cracked me up though at the end about the cooking. I too cook better than most women I know. For twenty years I have been saying that the only thing most women know how to make are reservations.
    A few years ago my father and I had a pretty good little home grown vegetable garden (3-4 acres) and a roadside stand. Pretty good little side business. One day, an early twenties lady asked me how do you boil corn on the cob. (buy the way, I like it fresh off the stalk, raw early in the morning while still cool.Better than drinking water) She knocked me for a loop. I will give her the benefit of doubt that she was not stupid but as you say just lacking life skills, hopefully.
    Over the years, I have had many conversations, with many folks about this subject, from all different countries and I take my hat off to you. I gave up dating American women a long time ago. Taking the time to put all this together and in a very erudite manner is just top notch. I will be passing this along.
     Looking for part 4 to pop up.   

  3. Henry, it has been interesting to listen to you as if I remember my teacher during my school days. You kinda remind me of how beneficial to ones growth if you pay attention to your relationship and how important it is to know your direction towards keeping the relationship alive. Although you did not discuss how but you gave some insights on why marriage in the PI would last simply not because of its compatibility but rather knowing the definition of being together. I;m an avid follower of your adventure in the PI and so far I gained a lot form your opinion. Keep going Henry and thank you again for sharing…

  4. I’m with all the men because I too despise feminism! I don’t want to ware the pants at all. In my experience if you treat a respectful man like a king he will make you his princesses!! Imo that’s the secret of a lasting happy marriage. It doesn’t matter the age either. Time for me to go buy a pretty girlie girl dress. Ha!

    1. I told my g/f the other day, one of the things I love most about her is that she is so much a ‘woman’.  She is feminine in every way.  And for me, as a man, I love it.  I love her joyful outlook on life.  I love to hear her sing in the house.  I like her in cute dresses.  And I appreciate her female perspective on things.  She makes the house a ‘home’.

    2. P.s the bible is a great marriage how to. God created men to lead the family and his wife to be his help mate. Feminism goes against our nature it destroys the very foundation of society and it’s getting worse especially in western countries. 🙁

  5. You are really nailing it in this series. Just to add to your observations of maturity… in 2013 my gf lived through that terrible earthquake that, as you can appreciate, was stronger than anything I’ve been through in California in 20 years…. she went through Yolanda, fearing for her life as roofs and palms flew everywhere, and the minor one was just a big baranguy fire…. but forget about fire trucks and ambulances. In each of these she was pressed to the limit in keeping her wits about her as she helped with the rest of the family – she’s Ate. And she had her mother as a strong example who held together throughout each of these too (Dad is an OFW in Saudi). Almost anyone here, young or old, would be doubling up on their therapy or grief counseling after just one of those events. Not there. They just move on… “that’s life.” Again, this is just a sliver response – what you are relaying are my experiences almost exactly. 

  6. Rico, I am not trying to raise another mans child period. Young women require education and you can lead them in the right direction, to be the best wife you will ever have,

     I don’t need a woman with baggage and someone’s else’s children.

    The U.S. system is devastating to men, so if you manage and are willing to teach, can get a young woman, I just say, be the best guy you can be, you have a second chance to do things right,

    be loving and caring and learn new things, even from a young  woman, men from the U.S. can learn much from a young woman, we have a great opportunity to learn how to love again.

    Be nice to the woman and set her up for life after you, and don’t be a stingy bastard. 

    1. Good rules to live by.  And the great thing about the PH is that, if you are patient enough, you can find the type of woman with as little baggage as your desire.

  7. One morning when I was in Cebu we got up at 3:30AM to travel to a wedding.   Outside of my wifes  house there is a courtyard walkway that takes 4 minutes  to walk around .  As we loaded our things in the bus, an elderly man holding hands with a beautiful middle aged woman walked by and they both said hi.   I asked Juana who that was.   She said it was Ted and Julie. Ted married Julie in the 1980s she explained.   He was in his 60s, retiring from an electronics company thought he was too old to have children. Julie was in her 20s then.   Julie and Ted moved to Floyds hometown (Phoenix, Az) but after a year or so Julie got tired of the excessive heat and Ted didnt have anything to do so they moved  to Cebu.  They bought a modest cement house where Ted accumulated a personal library over the years. They went for a walk every morning at 4AM for decades. They bought a new Toyota car every ten years or so.  My wifes sister bought one of their old ones when they bought a new one.  Ted’s penison of $3,500 a month was more than adaquate to give them the lifestyle they wanted. When Ted was 91 he had a series of health problems and was in and out of the hospital.   Julie told my wife that their intimate life had changed and now she had to be content with hugs and caresses, but she said she had no regrets of their life together or their age difference. The one regret Julie expressed was that she wished they had children when they first got married.  The children would be close to thirty years old by now.   When Ted was very sick his son from the USA came and tried to take him back to Phoenix to live in a nursing home.  But Ted just laughed and asked the son if he would rather live in a nursing home or in his home with he beautiful loving wife of thirty years?   The son understood and went back to the USA alone.   Julie nursed Ted back to health. He walks slower now with a cane, but he swears the cane is just to deal with the dogs who sometimes bother them. Likely they will not have too much longer together.   But anyone who is judgemental about an older man marrying a younger woman should get to know a couple like this. They might change their attitude.  This is a true story. 

  8. Older men (40-70 yrs old) and younger women (20-30 yrs old) is somewhat common and one can make the argument that age doesn’t really matter. But this is just half of the equation. Now try the opposite, younger men (20-30 yrs old) and older women (40-70 yrs old), all of the sudden the argument “age doesn’t really matter” fails… not all the time, but often unthinkable.

  9. My question is why a girl half my age is interested in me, an old wrinkled man, when she could have a much younger and more suitable man, is it money, green card or something else.

    1. @ROB NAVAEI “some” women are in it only for the money or greencard.. we call them ‘gold-diggers’.  but most other women here in the PH prefer a mature man who is stable both financially and emotionally, ready to commit to a long relationship without cheating.

  10. I agree with you age Is not an issue and yes the woman in the Philippines are more mature because of economic issues
    I am 70 and would not be happy with a 20 year old but I can see how it could work
    for me 40’s and early 50’s
    my x wife of 25 years did not cook I did all the cooking
    ha ha ha if I wanted to eat
    richard

  11. Age does not matter…it only does to busy bodies and I could care less what other people think. Well, it doesn’t matter as long as both people are real and deal with it and set it aside…love will blow the dobts away…

  12. When 2 people are inlove I think age does not matter anymore….the age gap between me and my husband is 36 years…I was 20 when we started talking(inlove),,,and my husband is the only man I asked GOD to be mine,,,,at the age of 21 and 57 we decided to get married 🙂 …and now we are happy, blessed and have 1 kid….nextyear if everything goes well,,we’re going home to my hometown (DUMAGUETE) for good!!!…..I thing the best part in every journey is coming home…god bless u and lyn 🙂

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