Age Gap Relationships: Culture, 2of4 – Philippines

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77 comments

    1. Part 4 is being uploaded right now (5/30/14).. should be online in a few hours, depending on upload speed here in the PH. ¬†ūüôā

  1. Wondering if it is nature itself that prioritized this particular phenomenon,¬† older man and younger woman.¬† Looks good from the species¬† survivial standpoint. A shortcut to good genes…

    1. Flipping it around, with older women and younger men.. it doesn’t have the same benefit to the species. ¬†Older women have greater risks in childbearing and will be unwilling to take direction in a marriage from a younger man. ¬†This will frustrate the younger man, who will then most likely chase someone younger. ¬†Very unstable. ¬†But with an older man, younger woman.. a stable family core is maintained. ¬†(imo)

  2. Another dynamic and i am not an expert on this but would like to throw it out there for those experts to correct me is the issue of  citizenship.  The philippine people have much love and respect for the american culture.  Our diplomatic  ties and our military history with each other is well documented, and the usa has always been there to lend a helping hand The american dream may be dead for all of us who live here but for those who want to experience american life marrying an american and having children with him is there idea that there children  can come to this country and live this so called  dream

    1 Does the philippina now become  an american citizen through marriage 

    2 Does the philippina child that they have together now become an  american citizen

    So an added benefit to the dynamics card is and also can be social socurity benefits as well  visa benefits for the children to leave the philippines and have a better economic life with more opportunities  in there husband country

    Rickey i am a big fan of your site have been to the phiippines many times and your right on with you assessment  of things to consider and look out for keep the videos coming

  3. We have a saying here in the Philippines which basically translates as – what the elders do, the young will follow. Although, sadly, more and more F ilipinos are growing up with broken families, the majority still grows up in an environment where the husband and wife stay together for life, and that family always comes first no matter what.

    1. I happen to not take up for my children,B/C that will just lead them to more michevious behavior. If they treat another person wrong, example stealing telling me lies, barrowing money from me and promise to pay it back but never do.Im talking my grandchildren’s mother and father.
      Tead Dave Ramsy’s Book Total Money Make Over.

  4. I’ve often wondered why so many women I dated were compelled to drone on about how mistreated they were by other men. If it was to bring about a greater understanding to how they wish not to be treated, that’s fine, but I found out¬†way too often the damage caused by these scumbags was irreversible. Beyond physical attraction, how many older men look at younger women with the hope that they are potentially less damaged goods?

  5. I agree with a lot of what Henry says here-because that’s the way
    it is there in the Phils. The thing he doesn’t say and should come
    to mind is “why” they like older men ??? The answer initially is “money”,
    which brings stability for a future family. In the Philippines if your sick
    with no money-“you die”- simple as that. Same if you need medications.
    So, I think they are attracted to older men, especially expats because they
    are living in a very poor country, sometimes in a destitute state. Also if
    a 60 year old was to marry a 20 yr old Filipina, 20 years down the road
    he’s 80 yrs old, and she’s only 40. ( is that a good deal for her?? )
    ¬†¬† With this being said, like Henry says it is, at first there is a trade off–a
    stable older man with financial stability, for a nice young Filipina companion.
    He get’s a nice young woman- and she get’s financial security, a good
    deal for him, and a good deal for her–it’s really a win-win situation here.
    After that, I have no doubt they can fall deeply in love, and have a good life
    together, but I do think economics play a big part in the initial reason why
    this happens here-older man-and younger woman. Don’t get me wrong, I
    think it’s great that an older guy can have a chance “at a second or third”
    great love in his life- but we should be honest about why it is so.

    1. Women look for security in men while men look for younger women to be arouse. which equates to money no matter what country you’re in.Only difference is divorce is nearly impossible in one country while the U.S. is easy.

    2. @stangeriam – I did receive your reply at my gmail inbox, and
      sent you a quite lengthy reply. I sent this to your email address at
      Hotmail, and would love to hear back from you.-regards-Grant

    3. Your just such a clever guy Mr. Import, please
      be sure to share yourself with all those needy
      women out in Asia. I know you can’t in North
      America–may as well go where UR desired.
      Good luck with your love journey!!!
         We have to agree to disagree on how we
      see life and reality, and that’s OK-makes for
      an interesting world.

    1. C.S. Lewis once wrote that it is in a woman’s nature to seek out control over her man and, upon achieving it.. despises him for letting it happen. ¬† That is the core dissatisfaction going on in American marriages. ¬†Listen to advertising sometime.. ever notice the plotline is always that the man has no clue what to do and only the woman or kids know what product/service is the solution? ¬†Men have been pushed down to the bottom of the social ladder and now women are surprised they have no respect for him. ¬†No wonder men who come to the PH and are treated with respect lose their appeal for American women after that.

  6. Relax Henry, you are in good company. President Grover Cleveland married a 21 year old girl when he was 49. He was a friend of the family and bought his wifes parents a baby carriage for his future wife when she was born.

  7. The happiest and best marriage of his life does not mean that much when you compare his usa wife.  Most men I know married in usa are miserable.  I was a profesional cupid  usa Рthailand for 6 yrs. So, I am pretty sure of what I talk about. In an older man and younger woman marriage is mostly based on Money.
    Trust me if the white man did have money it would have never started. and if one day he runs out of money. she will be gone.   

    1. I do agree, money is a factor. ¬†And the same applies to men, except with beauty. ¬†A study was done on how many spouses remained married after the other spouse was critically handicapped. ¬†The result was that more women stayed married, faithful and loyal to the marriage while the men outnumbered in the area of abandoning their now handicapped spouse. ¬†Take away the sex, the companionship and many men will be gone, just as many women will be gone when the money dries up. ¬†It’s a test to our core motivation. ¬†Some people rise to the challenge, many don’t.

  8. Most of us men are always attracted to the late teen-early twenties girl all the way back when we where toddlers, prepubertal phase, puberty….all the way to midlife. I think it’s primal, evolutionary and healthy

  9. Great video’s. I went to the Philippines the first time in early 1975 staying 2 1/2 years, leaving married. The first marriage didn’t work out (horrible experience) I went back for 3 1/2 years in the mid 80’s and remarried. We celebrate 27 years of marriage next month. ūüôā My wife is younger than I am by five years but at our age we could be the same age. Most of the divorces between American men and Filipina’s I’ve witnessed in the US have been between couples with a large age disparity. I’m sure this is different in the Philippines.¬†
    Thanks, great perspective and dead on mostly.

    Steve

    1. @Henry Audey¬†the barbed wire is to keep the neighbor’s cows from getting out. ¬†barbed wire has been used to control cattle in the american west for decades. ¬†why you think it’s a sad commentary still remains to be heard.

  10. Hi Reekay, me and my husband recently watching your videos and found them very informative. These videos/ topic in particular “age gap relationship” caught my attention and I think our story might be helpful to others. I am a Filipina, born and raised in the philippines and currently living content and happily Canada. I am married to a wonderful, loving, honest, romantic,and handsome Canadian teacher. We have know each other for 10 years and married for more than 6 years with 26 years age gap. We met here in Canada back when I was sent here in Canada for work related. Back then, I was 23 yrs old and he was 49 yrs old. We dated and fell in love in such a short period of time. He have been honest from the beginning including telling that he can’t have a child anymore which I don’t really care I just want to be with him though it would nice to have mini him. I went back to where I came from and after 3 months, I managed to get back with working visa and became permanent resident and Canadian citizen on my own. We got engaged and eventually married here in Canada and also in the Philippines. We are both working and equally contributed to our living expenses except helping my family back home because I do not want him to even though he insist. Anyway, I am just speaking as a younger Filipina with my own point of view. You might ask. Do I care about what other people say? My aswer is never. People will think and speculate anything they want and I won’t be bother at all. I would never let somebody to impede my way to our happiness. Most people think that younger Filipina married much older than them because of money or can bring them over to west I don’t blame them. Probably, they have seen a proof but they shouldn’t assume that everyone does it for the same reason. The thing is none of those reasons apply to us so, why would I be bothered. They don’t know us and we are not looking for approval. For me I married my husband because I LOVE HIM just the way he is and vice versa . I couldn’t ask for a better man to be with. He is very simple,respectful, considerate and kind hearted. I am very happy and feel very blessed to have a man like him in my life…people should be just be happy and positive to this kind of situations….peace….

    1. @Larry Kelly i’m so glad to hear that you and your husband can live happily and ignore those who have no clue about age gap relationships. most have never been in one and the reasons they give never hold up under scrutiny. you’ve done the right thing to just enjoy your lives together. you don’t need approval from anyone else. ūüôā

  11. Tough luck on me i was looking to move there but i am 41 yrs but i look really young like 28 yrs old i don’t know if that’s a turn off. Anyway i will be visit Cebu for few weeks in APRIL

  12. I really appreciate what you are saying, but how long have you been in a relationship with a Filipina? ¬†I was married to one for 14 years and the first years I was in heaven (as you are now), but then things started changing. ¬†Now you could say that maybe I picked the wrong girl. ¬†Well, I can tell you that many of the men I know here in Belgium who married Filipinas are experiencing the same. ¬†Since my divorce last year, two of my friends are following in my foodsteps. ¬†Of all my friends who married Filipinas I know for a fact that more than half are being cheated. ¬†Some of them don’t know it yet (it took me years to find out too), some don’t want to know, and some DO know but don’t give a damn. ¬†Many of these girls are so desparate to get out of poverty that they will marry the hunchback of the Notre Dame just to get a visa, financial support for their family and eventually a foreign nationality, so they can stay in their host country even after they are divorced. ¬†As soon as they feel secure, they go and find a guy they really love. ¬†My wife and I were very happy together, but then she heard about a Philippine mass in my hometown, so she started going there every Sunday. ¬†That’s where she met the wrong people. ¬†People who were proud of how they cheated their husbands and made it sound like the normal thing to do. ¬†When I started investigating the adultory of my wife (and I really did investigate) it was not only the name of my own wife that surfaced. ¬†I found out about a lot of women who were doing exactly the same. ¬†At one point I said to the Philippine priest: “Father, if all the women who are cheating there husbands would stop going to church, your church would be half empty” and that was NOT an exajuration! ¬†Of course there are faithful Filipinas! ¬†Of course there are good marriages! ¬†But I think your odds are much better if you move to the Filipines – as you did – and never bring your wife to the western world! ¬†

  13. It is a real issue. I am in late 60’s but pass for 10 years younger. Still, I know my age. Now a 25 year old filipina would date me. But the reality is if we got married I’m history before she hits 40. She has to put up with that time when I slip into serious decline. Since enjoy her youth, then there’s a tradoff…she gets some security from me. I don’t buy into this golddigger BS at all. Get real, there is give and take both ways…

    1. @Will Hart there is no upside to death for a couple. with same-age couples.. BOTH spouses are old and in need of care. and when the first one passes on, the remaining one is elderly, needing care AND a widow. in an age-gap relationship, at least it’s anticipated that the older will pass on first. plans can be made and she will often be young enough to re-marry or at least be in good health. and oftentimes, in a better financial position than other filipina women her age whose children are too young to support her.

  14. I have to agree. im an American 53 still working in us for my retirement and my gf/feance’ is a fiippina woman¬† 26 and we have dated in¬†online and in persn for¬†3 yrs now. and I could not b more amazed at the leval of respect I feel from her from day 1.
    thnks for ur videos they r very helpful for I am concedering a full retirement and mariage in the philippines

  15. Thank you for another great video filled with FANTASTIC insight! Feminism has destroyed American and European societies. Marriage(s) and relationships in the states are not lifelong encounters, but rather a series of “serial monogamy.” ¬†TRUE commitment has become an idea, not a practice, in a society of abundance where everything is disposable.

  16. Yeah once a person has been to the Philippines if indeed they too are pretty good  person, they will feel spoiled and yes humbled by the respect freely given too men.
    My X was hot with morals like my Grandmother.so a very good person my wife was.

    1. +Joseph Simmons Yeah have heard that and seen it a few times,while she did become Americanized she was never controlling, but yes in the end there was nothing left f the woman i married, she did go back to school an had very young woman who looked up to her, i had no idea at that time that a vey high percentage of young woman have has bi sexual experience, she took my life’s saving ,emptied all bank accounts,ran up all credit cards and vanished, worst she had me arrested the day before her illegal divorce.so i had no chance of even seeing a judge for my divorce
      This from a woman who’s biggest sin as throwing a baby chick down a well at like 5 years of aged.
      the first 7 years where very good so i think i will know the person many years before i re marry

    2. Yeah I agree, When I took my first to USA the AMERICAN FEMALE DICTATORS RUINED HER… Turned her into a bitching and controlling American¬† 100% opposite of the FILIPINA that I fell in love with… Biggest mistake I made was taking her to the USA to LIVE… A visit would have been better then return here to live

    3. +Joseph Simmons She changed, in many ways ,she became a he basically ,still i
      will take another pinoy asawa over any other woman even a good person
      can turn bad

  17. I think young fiipino women see an older western man as much more trust worther and far less likely to play the field and be faithful and true to her and only her

    1. +Jess Hann filipinas often ‘see’ older expats that way, but it isn’t always true. many expats lie and cheat when they get to the PH.

  18. I’ve been thinking of going to the Philippines and visiting there I do talk to one young lady there and she does want to meet me she’s excited to see me what do you think of that

    1. +jesse Quinonez it’s great that you have a friendly face waiting for you when you arrive. that’s a great thing. but be very clear with her about your intentions. filipinas, even the good ones, can be very quick to fall in love so be sure to let her know you are visiting her as a good friend. otherwise the assumption she will make is that you are there to solely begin a relationship with ONLY her. have fun. ūüôā

    1. +jesse Quinonez using a general definition of “safe”, everything North of Mindanao island would be considered safe. if you really insist on going to mindanao or any city therein, Google “mindanao travel advisory” and do some reading so you know what you are getting yourself into first.

  19. Exactly, i was with 20 years younger chick, it was perfect, I thought me being older basically having my shit together. house, car, decent looking, rasing daughters that turned out great that I would be looked up too (more so her family) but no, I was called names behind my back, pedo, gross etc etc. Eventually it broke us up.
    Also When I was married here in the US i felt my wife was always competing with me instead of working together.

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