Advice to Filipinas; Dating Foreigners, Part 1 of 3

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80 comments

  1. Thanks.. I’ll be doing more videos just for Filipinas,so if there’s a topic you want me to cover just let me know. And be sure to let your Facebook friends know too. Have fun! 🙂

  2. Glad to be of service. If you have any other ideas, topics or questions you’d like answered in a future video about foreigners, feel free to let me know. 🙂

  3. Hi enrico thanks for this video really helps. I can relate i also want to ask advice from u if possible in a private chat coz i dont want to broadcast it here. And maybe after hearing my story you could make an additional video in my case so that other filipinas will be aware. Continue inspiring filipina and keep it up

  4. Certainly. You can contact me at my website; lifebeyondthesea(dot)com . There you will see an ‘ASK HENRY’ section.. that will send a private email to me directly, offsite and in private.

  5. Good video and the girls there should pay attention to this. Not saying all women there are like this but, the red flag comes up when I’m asked for money and I’ll dump them just as fast as I met them. Most American men are fully aware of the scam operations in the Phillipines. She may be the most beautiful woman in my eyes I’ve ever seen, however, ask me for money on the internet and I’ve never met you other than IM Yahoo and cam, then you’re history. This has happened to me three times.

  6. Now i hope you learned the lesson :P..peace, I’m a woman and a filipina, just a simple advice, if you’re dating a filipina know her first well if she ask you if you’re rich and or telling you that she have a money problem in the first date then i don’t think she’s seriuos with you. just drop it right away 😛

  7. Uh yeah. Filipinas are going to bring chaperones on their dates. Chaperones serve several different purposes. They are there to protect the safety of the FIlipina from a potentially dangerous stranger(Philippine media likes to hype the dangers of foreigners). Also, chaperones’ presence helps to protect the Filipina’s reputation from gossip. Finally, the chaperones serve as icebreakers on a date, that’s part of their job.

  8. I am a Filipina I but I never fancy white guys even im single at 38. probably I never find the nice one. the trouble is im so independent I love working hard and holiday by myself.

  9. you no I talk to about 100 but one for a long time what do you do when your scammer falls in love with you and opens her cam and gives real name HEHEHE by tony t

  10. I’d say, why bother trusting someone who has already spent their whole introduction lying to you? I’d say scratch them off your list, build a relationship with a Filipina you spend time with IN PERSON, not online. Nothing online can ever be verified. Real relationships happen in person.

  11. I’ll throw a little different perspective on it, Big Balla’ Henry. Pinays: when you meet your dude for the first time, do it in PUBLIC, like at your favorite restaurant. DO NOT bring a chaperone! You’ve been chatting with him for months, maybe years. If you don’t have enough trust to even meet him in a restaurant, then don’t meet him! Dress nice but don’t get crazy. You ain’t goin’ to the effin’ prom! Stay light on the icing. Let your natural beauty shine through. Just be yourself.

  12. As the foreigner, I can’t imagine going on a fist date with a girl and having her mother, or worse yet, her father showing up as her chaperone. And you’re not going to be so personal or comfy if her sister or cousin shows up either. What’s to say this foreigner’s not going to do something on the 3rd or 4th date when they do date alone? And why doesn’t this apply to American women as well?

  13. It’s a whole other culture here. A person can either be informed and work with the situation or bluster their way through and wonder why they aren’t able to court women here. It isn’t going to change much any time soon. It has nothing to do with how it’s done in the States. Dating here in the PH is simply not like dating in Western cultures.

  14. I don’t think American women should have chaperons. I have dated American women though, who brought along chaperons, it does happen still in some circles, but not on the scale as the Philippines. It’s two totally different cultures. What applies here isn’t practiced in the US. It’s like trying to put a square peg in a round hole if you approach it like that.  If a guy wants to date in the PH, he needs to understand how it’s done here, or date somewhere else.

  15. So you want to meet filipina for possible marriage ha, well you sir have been in the philippines for so long and still could not find the right one Soooo, here is a tip for you and listen carefully as my advice is golden to you, you sir are looking at all different wrong places the secret way to a filipina womens heart is through a friendship. Learn that first how you say well, i dont know if i can explain this all here but i’ll try, maybe basic is get to know them be a regular visitor as a frie

    1. Actually, if you listen to my videos you’d know that I always encourage taking at least a year knowing a Filipina before making any marriage decision.  So, all is going fine in that department.  I’m simply taking my time to know her for a year before making any big decisions.  I also spent the first 3 months only seeing her as a platonic friend, no physical contact.

  16. I find these videos very educational. I’v watched several of your other ones and find them helpful. All of what your saying is TRUE. Im an American an have ran into everything you have mentioned here when meeting a pinay. Wish i would have watched these sooner i would have understood what the heck was going on when she asked for utility money?!?!? And brought her 10 family members on our date INCLUDING grandma. haha 

  17. In my own opinion, there are filipinas who ‘ve been misled to foreigners obviously for some reasons, poverty, lack of knowledge or education, poor living environment. Nonetheless, there are filipinas who are successfully married to foreigners because they ‘re both potentially meant to be, smart references, or simply they both took the time to put a length of time to get to know each other, I’m married to a foreigner for 35 yrs and I do still initiate to pay our dinner out. Money should not be d center of issue in a relationship or even when ur still dating, Filipina should show some dignity to herself that she is not dependent on the expense of another party…. 😛

    1. What Jeffrey Collins and Ricky said is the truth. I’ve been to the bars in Mabini and Angeles but that isn’t how most of the country works. Society in the Philippines is more traditional than in most of the western world. When I started dating my now wife she brought her little brother and younger female cousin on the first few dates. Did that put a bit of a crimp on things? Sure. But it also protected her physically as well as her reputation in the barangay. It also demonstrated to her family that I was genuinely interested in her and not just a player. Besides, they were fun kids and what is a couple of extra movie tickets to get in good with her family? If they don’t approve of you then the relationship is almost certainly doomed.

      Finally, if you are not willing to honor their customs in their land then you really should be looking for a woman in some other country.

    2. Seriously speaking, if you date a nice woman, you are going to get a chaperone, at least at first. 

      Filipino chaperones serve several purposes.  First, having a chaperone(or multiple chaperones :grin:) protects the woman’s reputation from wild gossip.  It lets other people who see the couple know that the woman’s family approve of the relationship.  It also lets people know that there is nothing scandalous happening(i.e., sex, even if there is sex). 
      Second, as Henry said in the video, it protects the woman’s safety from some foreign predator.  I am sure it is uncommon for foreigners to come all the way to the Philippines for the purpose of rape.  However, the media likes to broadcast stories of sketchy behavior by foreigners.  Scandal makes people buy newspapers and watch television.  So it is in the back of the family of the woman’s mind when her suitor comes to visit her in the Philippines.
      The third purpose of a chaperone is for the chaperone to help break the ice and move things along.

    3. If the girl’s family is on the same island and she is young, chaperons are pretty much unavoidable.  However, girls who are over 20 and working on an island away from their family almost never bring a chaperone since they are living a bit more independently.

  18. Look ladies, if a man is willing to fly thousands of miles to see you, you can pretty much bet that he is not interested in hurting you. Obviously, there are always risks..but the risk in that particular case is very low.

    1. I guess I can understand a chaperone….and i am not exactly sure what kind of woman I am looking for…but I know I don’t want one that has been with 1000 men…..lol…are there women there that have slept with that many..or were you exaggerating…lol…

    2. Hi Chris ,to answer you, here is my experience ,  when i first met my 17yo Pinay Gf in Xmas y1992 I had to front all the family as a  Chapeyrons Army during the first days of our  meeting,  I slept in her Grand mom home beside my her parents home. No way to sleep in same house to avoid gossips. But the “Chapeyrons army test”  did not cause me any problem finally, because I knew the Filipino culture, and for me it was a good additional guarranty that she was not a bargirl hooker (i hate that), but she was a very serious girl , even called a girl  “NBK-NBT” (never been kissed& n.b. touched), and I rather liked that way of meeting her in a safer way for herself ,against me being seen as a potential girls predator, knowing that she just won the Beauty contest of her High school.
      Later we were left alone , to talk and know each other better. So if you are a serious guy, the Chapeyron test , is a guaranty for you that she is a good family girl . Maybe is looks like a  Macho view but i prefer that view whilst  i m not a Muslim , i am Catholic from Europe.
      Thinking at the extreme opposite, I think any Prostitute having f..k..d  999 boys before yourself , will never need any Chapeyron , so my question : will you prefer as Life time partner ,to choose  a good girl with her Chapeyron or do you prefer to date a prostitute w/o chapeyron ,  because you are the Lucky winner to be her 1000th guy ? Me , my choice is quickly done for long time!!!! 

    3. Risk of physical harm is pretty low, most foreigners don’t want domestic charge issues in a foreign country.  I did meet one girl who had been banged up by a Norwegian though (my maid).  But the chief harm is in guys who make false promises, raise false hopes of marriage and the girls end up getting used.  Filipinas are very romantic, optimistic women and it’s a shame that some get led along by unscrupulous, short-term visitors.

  19. This is crazy . What a load of BS . Are u saying that pinoy’s dont do the same as foreigners . I know many friends that are single mum’s by pinoys playing the field . 

  20. Ladies listen to this man he speaks the truth. I met my fiancee in the Philippines and this all sounds familiar to my experience. I couldn’t be happier 🙂

  21. recently an American guy who came to Philippines  to visit a girl for possible permanant relationship…..was attacked by the filipina and her live in partner …and his money and passport were stolen from him!
    remember …they are not all angels like they want you to know !

    1. @*****
      because this is the topic the author chose – okay? gosh, you are so ignorant and oppositional (maarte). what exactly is your problem? perhaps you have been rejected by men and now you hate them for that? your attitude is horrendous. you suck!

  22. The majority oh expat will run a mile if you start to ask to bring a chaperon for me I would have never gone.  My now wife never asked to bring one, the best option is to meet up in a open and lively place and if you are worried don’t go back to his place unless you are open for whatever happens. 

  23. WELL,WE FILIPINOS KNOWN TO BE FAMILY ORIENTED PERSONS. Well,for us it is better for you to meet our family on the spot,it is also one of the reasons for us to know if you’re serious or not. IF YOU’RE DATING A FILIPINA KNOW THE CULTURE FIRST BEFORE SAYING ANYTHING THAT RUINS ONE’S IMAGE. 🙂 If i’m going to meet my foreign bf for the first time I prefer to get him at the airport with my family. 🙂 You don’t have the right to love a filipina if you’re irritated with her family. 🙂 JUST SAYING 😉

    1. @Glesiel Lasco I asked questions in my post. I merely explained my experience with Philippine culture as it related to American marriage. You can be skeptical but you also didn’t answer any of my questions from a Fillipina perspective.

    1. @Jenina Strong my FB is at;  www.facebook.com/reekay.inph   i get a bit behind sometimes, but drop me a message and i’ll get back to you.  🙂

  24. A girl doesn’t need chaperones on a date. She simply has to go for a place with a lot of people and good lighting if she finds it a lil risky to meet up with a guy for the first time. It’s general rule.

  25. Great advice. Must see for all Filipinas looking to date foreigners. Many foreigners know Filipinas are looking for a long term relationship/marriage/support and exploit that fact. I knew a (former) friend who would contact several over the internet (with lies, off course) with promise of a long term relationship. His real intent, off course, was to sleep with as many as he could during his 2 or 3 weeks there about twice a year. And then brag about it. He knew about their desperation and poverty and took full advantage of it. A cruel, ruthless, selfish and greedy man. I am sure he is one of lots of them who do this. Filipinas, do a due diligence and follow Reekay’s advice, please.

  26. GIRLS: I have seen many of his videos, and he is talking from the heart here and it is all correct, but he left out a lot of frank information which I will not…In the past, oh I would say, 15 to 10 years, many, I mean, many, if not most girls there, seem to believe, or scam men, for money, as if we are a bank…Yes, I know, many men think of you, as a bank also, meaning, a semen bank, but, you fell for the male scam, which they learned from the money face girls there…Please, girls, return to your roots, go back in time, to a more simpler way of life…I am telling you now, if you hint, or say, my mom is diabetic, or I WISH I COULD GO TO THE PROVINCE AND VISIT, BLA BLA BLA, YOU WILL CHASE OFF THE GOOD KANO…If you are seeking a husband, wouldn’t you want one with a brain? A man, who DOES NOT GIVE HIS MONEY AWAY TO GIRLS? huh? The really good men, who go to the Philippines, seeking a wife, are seeking a FILIPINA…A real Filipina, would never ask for money, or act like that and sex? Well, do you want a husband who has sex with girls, in the first few days or weeks, he meets her? If you do, ask him, am I number 6 or number 9? The real man, for the Filipina, is shy, or sick of loose women, he wants a good girls now, what does that mean? MORE LATER

  27. Reekay in one of your videos how to scare a foreigner off you told the filipinas that the video was aimed at do not ask for money. But how common is it that filipinas that are not scammers will ask a male friend that they have met online about money I ask because of a pinay I am currently chatting with we have chatted for 3 weeks now and today she asked me will trust me if I ask you for 5000 pesos, turns out that she and her brother is about to open a business and she does not have her half of the rent money. I confronted her about it but instead of the usual story that scammers deliver she jut apologized and dropped it and told me that she is not a bad person. Are we talking about a scammer with a brain or a honest but naive person ? Because she asked me if I had Skype or YM and when I asked her if I could see photos of her brothers or their names I got the answer I am not comfortable to tell you their names or show you photos of them

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines Her character stink because she is lacking commitment, because she chose that damn meat store over me. I don`t like people that are that petty that they cannot find 10 minutes a day to Skype    

    2. no names needed. this is the problem with only knowing someone online. you have no way of really knowing if she’s either naive and desperate or just a very clever scammer. 5,000P is quite a bit of money in the PH. that’s at least a month’s pay or more depending on what pay-rate you’re looking at. my general rule is you only send money to a woman you have an ACTUAL relationship with. you’ve met her in person. you know her well enough to assess her character. you know where she spends her time. her connections with her family. how conservative she is. but you assess all this in person because if you rely on what they “tell you” online, it’s pointless. so, when a person you only know online throws out the “i need your help” situation, you are now faced with the moral dilemma of trying to decide if she’s telling the truth or not. is this girl telling you the truth? i have no way to know. but only you can decide if you want to chance it or not. but if you do send her the money, just consider it gone, you’ll never see it again, whether she’s a good woman or not. see it as a ‘gift’, not an investment and not as a way of keeping her in your life.

  28. that’s true don’t asked anything if you just started a relationship,let him offer what he can do.but not to asked,because if a man truly loves you, they will offer you a help in difficulties time.But keeps your expectation low.

    1. no. a mexican-american is a person born with citizenship in mexico, who then becomes an american citizen. i am 3rd-generation american, with a spanish/mexican heritage prior to that.

  29. Thank you sir for advice to those Philipinas. Many Philipinas are think that if the guy really loves me then he will help me so first they ask money to the guy and when he gives her little money then she thinks it’s time to give myself. So they sleep with that man but many men are very clever they spend money at the beginning bcos of sex and once those men get it then after few months they lose the interest on her. Why most of the Philipinas are after money? They need money that’s why they do that so it is not men mistake it is their needs.

  30. some filipinas whose broken hearted from past relationship want something different and try to have white guys, something is special from them that are not in filipino men

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